Realizing Their Baggage About Baggage Is Not Really Baggage At All

, , , , , | Right | October 11, 2017

(Our load of plastic shopping bags doesn’t come in, and we end up running out. We start using the environmentally-friendly bags, which are usually $2, free of charge to pack the shopping with.)

Me: “Hi, how are you this evening?”

Customer: “Where are your plastic bags? I want plastic bags. I don’t want to be charged with these rubbish enviro-friendly bags.”

Me: “Sorry, sir, but we have actually run out of plastic bags. But we’re not charging you for these bags, as it was not your fault we ran out.”

Customer: “I don’t believe you; go check the back for plastic bags!”

Me: “Sir, trust me; we’ve run out of them. We’re losing money by giving these bags out for free, and they are more difficult to pack. If we had plastic bags I’d be more than happy to use them, but because we clearly don’t, you’ll just have to put up with these bags that are normally $2, free of charge.”

(By this point he got quiet, and paid and left. I wished him a good night and he smiled back.)

It’s Like A Steak But Not A Steak-Steak

, , , , , | Right | October 5, 2017

(I work in the meat department of a neighborhood supermarket. Our actual meat room is downstairs, and we have a customer phone right at the meat case to call directly to the meat room. I am in the meat room, wrapping, when the phone rings.)

Me: “Meat department, can I help you?”

Woman: “Yes, uh, can you tell me what a sirloin steak is? Is it, like, a steak-steak? Like, can you make a steak out of it?”

Me: *face-palm*

Will Be Here Until We’re Eighty

, , , , | Working | October 3, 2017

(I’m the dumb employee in this story. I’m working as a cashier, and having just started the new job a week earlier, I’m not familiar with all of it yet. The customer has a huge pile of paper trash bags that are tied with a string. I assume I have to count them all since each bag has an individual bar code.)

Me: “Do you know how many bags there are in this?”

Customer: “Sorry; no.”

Me: “I’ll just have to count them then.”

Customer: “Okay.”

(I start counting and am getting near to seventy when I’m interrupted.)

Customer: “I can the see the price tag on the shelf from here; it says 80 bags.”

Me: “Oh, thanks!”

(At this point, I finally read the barcode, not having done so before.)

Me: “Oh. It says 80 on the computer. I didn’t need to count them. I’m sorry!”

Customer: “New, aren’t you?”

(Luckily, they were understanding and didn’t start an angry rant.)

Lettuce In For Some Puns

, , , , | Right | October 2, 2017

(I’m shopping in the produce department of a local supermarket. One of the clerks is busy restocking the iceberg lettuce. Just as another customer is squeezing past, one of the lettuces falls off the cart and tumbles across the floor.)

Customer: “Heads will roll!”

Self-Checkout Makes You Want To Drink

, , , , | Working | October 2, 2017

I’m the customer in this story. I am working full time, going to university in the evenings, volunteering at the weekends and, unbeknownst to me at the time, dealing with some pretty heavy depression. I am averaging two or three hours of sleep a night. One night after studying at the university library, I decide to head to the shops to pick up a few bits. My mum’s birthday is coming up and I see a bottle of whisky she likes on sale, so I decide to grab a bottle for her as a mini-present.

I get to the self-service checkout and I get picked for a random check of my bag, which is basically to stop people bagging stuff without scanning it. An employee comes over and checks my bag, and sure enough, the totals don’t match. After rescanning everything in my four bags, it turns out I had missed the 40p pack of sugar sprinkles to go on my mum’s cake! If I were going to steal anything, it would have been the £25 bottle of whisky. Now, anytime I go to the self-scan aisle, I get “randomly selected.”

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