Trolling Down The Aisles

| Melbourne, VIC, Australia | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I am checking out a regular customer.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today?”

Customer: “I’m okay. I bet you’re miserable.”

Me: “No, I’m pretty good actually, but there’s still time.”

Customer: “Is there anything I can do to help? What’s something customers do that really p***es you off?”

Me: “Hmm. Well, when they run off just before I’ve finished putting through their stuff to get ‘one more thing’.”

Customer: *eyes shopping* “I’ll be back; I’ve got to get some chocolate.”

(The customer runs off, and comes back about a minute later, just as I’ve finished scanning his things.)

Customer: “How was that? Are you annoyed at me now?”

Me: “Sorry, I don’t think it works if I know you’re trolling. It amuses me more than anything.”

Customer: “Dawwww.”

Manners Are Not Just For The Young

| Birmingham, England, UK | At The Checkout, Bad Behavior, Top

(I’m the only person in the queue for the self-service tills. A woman has finished scanning her items, but is still packing them. A man comes up behind me. I look young for my age, and am dressed casually as it’s my day off. I also have red streaks in my hair from a charity day the day before.)

Customer: “Are you queuing?”

Me: “Yes, I am.”

Customer: *pointing at where the woman is* “Well, are you wanting that one or not?”

Me: “I’m waiting for the woman to finish.”

(Instead of waiting behind me as I expect, he pushes past, goes up to the woman’s till, and starts trying to scan things through. The system won’t let him as the woman hasn’t taken her bags yet. After a few unsuccessful attempts he barges back past me and rejoins the queue.)

Customer: “F****** kids.”

Me: “At least this f****** kid had the manners to wait until the lady was finished.”

Customer: *blushes*

Being Franc About The Dollar

| France | Geography, Money, Tourists/Travel

(It is when the French Franc is still in use. I get called by a cashier who has a problem with American tourists.)

Tourist: “This woman won’t accept our money!”

(The tourist is waving about a wad of US dollars.)

Me: “Well, she can’t, sir, since you’re trying to pay in US dollars.”

Customer: “So?”

Me: “Well, you’re in France. We only accept French Francs.”

Customer: “I don’t understand! All the other third world countries we’ve been to accept dollars.”

Me: “France isn’t a third world country.”

Customer: “…”

Me: “There’s a bank right down the street. We’ll hold on to your items until you come back with Francs. Or you can pay with a visa card.”

Customer: “No, we’re not coming back; you’re not getting our dollars!”