Raisin Awareness Of Her Problem

| MI, USA | Bizarre, Food & Drink, Health & Body, Theme Of The Month

(I give out free samples. I am serving a variety of grapes when I see a well-dressed woman in her 60s nearby with her daughter and grandchild. Listening to them talk, she seems very educated and well-spoken, and I see her approach my cart.)

Me: “Hello, would you like to try some of our grapes today?”

Customer: “Oh, no thank you, dear.”

(I wish her a good day, and go back to preparing more samples. I realize a few seconds later that she is still just standing there, staring at me.)

Me: “Is there anything I can help you with, ma’am?”

(Suddenly she gives me a death glare, jabs her finger toward my bowl of grapes and yells at me.)

Customer: “DEY GIVE ME DA POOPIES!”

(She then stomps off in a huff, leaving me to wonder what the heck just happened.)

Maybe Crazy Is In Her Nature

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I have fairly long hair, which is dyed dark forest green. I am looking in the produce section, when someone grabs a handful of my hair and pulls on it as hard as they can. I cry out in pain and turn around to see an old woman glaring at me.)

Me: “That hurt! Why would you do that?”

Old Woman: “That didn’t hurt you, ya’ big baby! Anyone can see that hair ain’t real!”

(She reaches for my hair again; I back up and almost knock over a small wire display rack.)

Me: “Don’t touch me!”

(By now we’ve attracted the attention of a nearby manager.)

Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

Old Woman: “Yes there is! This is a natural market! I come here to see natural things, and that hair ain’t natural! I want her out of here!”

Manager: “I can’t do that, but I can call the police because I’m pretty sure pulling someone’s hair counts as assault.”

(The old lady looks stunned, and hurries away. The manager makes sure I’m alright before she goes on her way.)

Slow To Register

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I am going to a self-service checkout in the shop. I can see that the screen says it is for cards only. In addition, there is a sign plastered to the machine saying the same.)

Employee: “Just to let you know: that’s card only.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I put my goods down. He is still looking at me, so I look up.)

Employee: “You won’t be able to use cash.”

Me: “…I know; it’s alright. I have a card on me.”

Employee: “Sorry. You’d be surprised how many people will try to pay in cash despite all the warnings.”

Me: “Really?”

Employee: “Yeah, it happens all the time.”

(I scan my first item. The machine immediately says in a loud voice: ‘This till will only accept cards. Do you wish to continue?’ I stare at the employee, who walks off, laughing. My faith in humanity went down that day.)