That Age-Old Competition

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 20, 2017

(This is my grandma’s story, in which she is a customer and another woman is trying to push into the queue.)

Woman: “Let me in front; I’m 72!”

Grandma: “Well, I’m 81, so get back in line!”

Your Son Has Something To Tell You…

, , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(I work as a manager for a supermarket. During times like Mother’s Day or Father’s Day we get in vast amounts of certain items that all go on offer. I have to jump on the checkouts to serve, as my current checkout operator needs a break. A male customer has come to my checkout holding flowers and a card for Mother’s Day. Please bear in mind that it is already Mother’s Day and we have sold through most of our stock.)

Me: “Hi there. How are you, and would you like any bags today?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want any of your f****** bags! What I do want to know is why [Store] employees are all a bunch of extortionate, immoral d****es?!”

Me: “I’m sorry, sir. Is there a problem? And if so, how can I help?”

Customer: “Oh, you can’t help me; all you workers are just mindless sheep, and you are the worst. You’re lower than dirt!”

(I take this a lot, so it doesn’t really bother me. His bill isn’t even that much; it is around £6.00.)

Me: “Well, that’s £6, sir.”

(He then threw the money down and walked away. Little did he know, though, his card said:

To Mum
Happy Mother’s Day
With love
From your Daughter)

Your Excuse Has Been Declined

, , , , , | Right | October 19, 2017

(I’ve just finished ringing up a customer’s purchases, and now she’s swiping her card to pay. Unfortunately, it’s declined.)

Me: “Sorry, I’m afraid that didn’t go through. Did you maybe want to try it again?”

Customer: “Huh? I just picked this card up from the bank before coming here. It should work. It’s brand new.”

Me: “That’s weird. Try it again.”

(She tries again. Once again, it doesn’t work.)

Me: “No, sorry. It’s saying ‘contact bank.’ Are you sure it’s been activated?”

Customer: “Yes. As I said, I just got it. Set it up again.”

Me: “Okay.”

(She tries paying again. Once again it is declined.)

Customer: “Why is it being declined? It should work.”

Me: “I don’t know what to tell you. Maybe try going back to the bank and asking them. I’ll watch your shopping for you.”

(The bank in question is in the same shopping centre as my work, and roughly a two-minute walk away, so suggesting she quickly runs over there to find out what’s going on isn’t an unreasonable suggestion.)

Customer: “No. It’ll work. Let me try again.”

(Again she tries. Again it fails. Now she’s getting noticeably annoyed.)

Customer: “This is a new card. It should work. Why won’t you let it through?”

Me: “It’s not me. All I do is tell the register you’re paying by card, and you do the rest.”

Customer: “Well, then, it should work. Do it again, and make sure it isn’t rejected this time.”

(She ends up trying it about ten times in total, each time getting more and more annoyed at me, despite my insistence that it’s out of my power. Eventually, she gives up and pays cash, all the while muttering about how her card should work. She leaves, but ten minutes later she comes back with a smug look on her face.)

Customer: “Just so you know, I just used my new card to get money out of an ATM.”

Me: “Oh, good.”

Customer: “So, obviously, it was you that was the problem all along. Maybe keep that in mind next time you decide to reject my card and tell me it’s my fault.”

(D***, how could I have forgotten about ATMs? Now she could see right through my devious plan to stop her, a random 60-something-year-old woman whom I’d never met before, from paying for her groceries. Is it any wonder my heart now skips a panicked beat every time a customer’s card is rejected?)

The Pen Is Mightier Than Your Word

, , , , , , | Working | October 18, 2017

(I work for a supermarket as a delivery driver. My job requires me to do some paperwork and I often find myself needing pens. One morning I decide to purchase some from the store I’m based out of before I begin my shift, and I pick up some breakfast while I’m doing this. To get from the aisle with my breakfast items to the pens I walk past the front of store security officer who is well-known for his dislike of delivery drivers, for reasons I don’t know.)

Security Officer: “Excuse me, you can’t take items you purchased through to the staff room from the back; you have to go around the outside.”

(This is a store policy to prevent staff taking items from the shelves and consuming them without paying for them.)

Me: “Yup, I know, but I’m going to get some pens.”

Security Officer: “You cannot take items through the store; you must go around the outside.”

Me: “Yes. I know. I haven’t even paid for this yet. I want to go and get some pens.”

Security Officer: “If you attempt to go further I will have to detain you and inform your manager.”

Me: “Fine, I tell you what; hold my breakfast while I go and get pens.” *I hand him my breakfast and start to walk away.*

Security Officer: “It is not my job to return the items you are attempting to steal; please do so yourself and in future, control yourself!”

(I ignored him, walked over to the aisle containing pens, and picked up a pack. I walked back over, took my breakfast from him, and joined the line to pay for my purchases and proceeded to go about my work day. It turns out he decided to report my “attempted theft” to my manager, but my manager is well aware of his grudge against delivery drivers and ignored him. Some days later my manager informed me I had been reported for “gross misconduct” to the store manager. Since the CCTV footage showed me walking through the store, getting my breakfast, attempting to get pens, and nothing else, it was concluded by the store manager that I was probably just getting pens.)

Not Genderalizing The Issue

, , , , | Working | October 12, 2017

(I’m at the checkout of a supermarket.)

Cashier: “Will that be cash or card today, sir— Oh, umm… miss?”

Me: “I— uh, what?”

Cashier: *huffs* “I’m sorry. We’re supporting our manager who’s come out as agender, so we’re not assuming the gender of anyone we serve today to bring attention to the issues of non-binary individuals.”

Me: “That actually sounds quite interesting, but isn’t using female pronouns automatically assuming that my gender is female?”

Cashier: “No, because you’re a guy, so I referred to you as a woman.”

Me: “Aren’t you assuming my gender then, anyway?”

Cashier: *deer in the headlights moment* “OH, MY GOD!”

Me: “Don’t get me wrong; I think what you’re trying to do is a good thing, but it’s more for highlighting transgender issues than issues affecting the wider non-binary community.”

Cashier: *tears forming in her eyes* “I… I don’t know what to say. I’ve messed up. I don’t really understand any of it.”

Me: “I don’t think many out there will hold it against you. Admitting you don’t understand is a big step forward. Maybe ask what pronouns people would like to be referred to as, or just use the neutral ‘they’ and ‘them,’ etc.”

Cashier: “Oh, I will. Thank you. So, umm, what pronouns would you like me to use?”

Me: “Male is fine. I’m agender, too, actually, but I don’t care enough to really bother. I just go with whatever people use for me.”

(Her face lit up and we finished my purchase. It was nice thing to see people trying to bring attention to such issues. It made my week.)

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