Can’t Talk Your Way Out Of That One

| Methuen, MA, USA | Right | November 14, 2015

(I’m scanning a customer’s groceries. Everything is going normally, and then she says out of the blue:)

Customer: “Do you like my shirt?”

(It’s a shirt for a cancer awareness walk.)

Me: “Sure, it’s a nice shirt.”

Customer: “Yeah. I had cancer, you know.”

Me: “Oh, no! But you’re cancer-free now, I hope?”

Customer: “Yes. But I don’t like to talk about it.”

Me: “…Have a nice day.”

One Of The DVDs Should Have Been ‘What Women Want’

| Peterborough, England, UK | Romantic | November 13, 2015

(I’m about a half hour into a four-hour shift and it’s the end of my work week, so I’m not totally with it. My till is fairly empty, but there are queues forming either side of me. I get the attention of a customer on the till opposite me and he comes over. I put his three DVDs through the till with some general chit-chat, and he starts packing up the DVDs in a backpack.)

Customer: “Do you have a name?”

Me: “It’s on my badge.”

Customer: “How old are you?”

Me: “23.”

Customer: “That’s the same age as me. Do you have a number?”

Me: “Err… why?”

Customer: “Isn’t it obvious?”

Me: “Not really.”

(At this point, I turn to the next customer in the line. My DVD customer is STILL bagging his items.)

Me: “Would you possibly be able to shuffle round so I can serve these customers?”

Customer: “I don’t get why you won’t give me your number.”

Me: “I don’t get why you don’t get that I don’t give out my number to random strangers, sir.”

On The Lower Fish Scales Of Intelligence

| Bristol, England, UK | Working | November 11, 2015

(I am keeping an eye on the new guy on the meat and fish counter when I overhear this conversation:)

Him: “So all the fish swim the same way, right?”

Coworker: “What?”

Him: “Well, they’d have to, right? Or the world’s oceans would spin.”

(He wasn’t joking.)

A Sweet Gesture

| Aalst, Belgium | Right | November 7, 2015

(I am at the register. An older lady, visibly shaken up, approaches me.)

Me: “Can I help you, ma’am?”

Lady: “Yes, about half an hour ago, I bought my groceries here.” *shows me her receipt* “But when I was in the aisle, one of my bags broke. And to have my hands free I put this bar of chocolate in the pocket of my coat. I didn’t notice it until a few minutes ago.”

Me: “So you’ve come back… to pay for it?”

Lady: “Yes, I feel awful about it.”

Me: “Wow…  Just, wow. You are the first person to do that since I have worked here. I didn’t know people would do that!”

(I finished her transaction. If it hadn’t been company policy to not give things away, I would have given the chocolate to her for free. Thanks, lady, for showing there are decent, albeit unusual, people out there.)

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Not Very Closed-Minded, Part 13

| Clifton, NJ, USA | Right | October 29, 2015

(The supermarket where I work is going out of business. There are large signs placed EVERYWHERE stating this. It is the last week of operations where the discounts range from 40% to 80% off. Needless to say the shelves are a little bare and there is not much variety. As I am working at marking discounted prices on items a customer continually approaches me to ask questions.)

Customer: “Why don’t you have [specific flavor of ice cream] I want?”

Me: “Because the store is closing.”

Customer: *yelling* “That is unacceptable! I am going to report you to the corporate office!”

(I can’t help but burst into laughter.)

Customer: “What’s so funny?”

Me: *between laughs* “Lady, the company is going out of business. Do you REALLY think Corporate gives a s***?”


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