Enough To Get The Blood Pumping

| QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Health & Body

(I’m working on the checkouts when a customer around her 30s approaches with a large trolley.)

Me: “Hi, how are you?”

Customer: “Fine.”

(She starts loading her groceries onto the register and I start scanning. She then reaches into her bag to take something out. Not paying much attention, I continue scanning. The register belt moves closer to me and soon I see that she has placed a used sanitary pad on the register.)

Me: “Uh… ma’am? Is that from you?”

Customer: “Yes, why?”

Me: “Would you mind removing it from my register?”

Customer: “Why? Are you too lazy to throw it out yourself?”

Me: “Ma’am, that is a serious health hazard. Besides that, it isn’t in my job description to clean up after customers. I’m not touching that; please get it off my register.”

Customer: “I can’t believe how lazy you are!”

(The customer grabs the pad, storms over to the bin and throws it away before coming back to pay for her groceries. She leaves without a word. I close down my register, and wash my hands a dozen times.)

Just Till-ing It Like It Is

| East Sussex, England, UK | At The Checkout, Crazy Requests

(A customer comes in at about 2 pm; he is the only customer in the store.)

Customer: “Why is there only one person by your tills?”

Coworker: “Because it’s a quiet period. My manager and my other colleague are currently restocking the shelves.”

Customer: “That’s ridiculous! Somebody should be on every till!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, with respect, you’re the only person in the store. Why would we need all three tills to be manned?”

Customer: “I should have the right to choose who I get served by.”

Coworker: “Well, I could buzz for my colleagues if you like?”

Customer: “No, I don’t want to have to wait. I’m busy. I’m in a rush.”

Coworker: “Well, either I can buzz for my colleagues or I can serve you and you can get on with your day. Which would you prefer?”

Customer: “NEITHER! I WANT TO CHOOSE MY TILL!”

Coworker: “Ma’am, those are my only two options. My colleagues aren’t at the till. If you want a choice, I can buzz them and they’ll get here within twenty seconds, or I can serve you and you can be out of the store and getting on with your day within twenty seconds. The choice is utterly yours.”

Customer: “I can’t believe your service is so poor. You know what? I don’t even want this!”

(The customer puts down a bottled drink.)

Customer: “I will just have a drink when I get home.”

(By now, my manager and I have heard the commotion. We come over after the customer leaves.)

Manager: “What just happened?”

Coworker: “I… I’m not sure.”

A Wee Bit Foreign, Part 2

| Brisbane, QLD, Australia | At The Checkout, Bigotry, Language & Words

(I am Scottish, and working the registers.)

Me: “Hi, how are you today, ma’am?”

Customer: “Pardon?”

Me: “Uh, was just asking how you were going today.”

Customer: “Wow, that’s a strong accent you have there. Are you working whilst backpacking or something?”

Me: “No, ma’am, I have lived here for the last 10 years now. Moved over here with my parents.”

(I continue scanning and packing the customer’s items, while she just stares at me blankly.)

Customer: “So, if you’ve been here so long, how come you still can’t talk properly?”

Me: “Uh… I’m sorry, ma’am?”

Customer: “Oh, it’s alright. Not your fault you’re a bit slow.”

(After finishing the transaction in stunned silence, she thanks me and leaves with her items. I look over at my supervisor who heard the exchange.)

Supervisor: “You always get the interesting ones, don’t you?”

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A Wee Bit Foreign