Maybe Crazy Is In Her Nature

| Portland, OR, USA | Bizarre, Theme Of The Month, Wild & Unruly

(I have fairly long hair, which is dyed dark forest green. I am looking in the produce section, when someone grabs a handful of my hair and pulls on it as hard as they can. I cry out in pain and turn around to see an old woman glaring at me.)

Me: “That hurt! Why would you do that?”

Old Woman: “That didn’t hurt you, ya’ big baby! Anyone can see that hair ain’t real!”

(She reaches for my hair again; I back up and almost knock over a small wire display rack.)

Me: “Don’t touch me!”

(By now we’ve attracted the attention of a nearby manager.)

Manager: “Is there a problem here?”

Old Woman: “Yes there is! This is a natural market! I come here to see natural things, and that hair ain’t natural! I want her out of here!”

Manager: “I can’t do that, but I can call the police because I’m pretty sure pulling someone’s hair counts as assault.”

(The old lady looks stunned, and hurries away. The manager makes sure I’m alright before she goes on her way.)

Slow To Register

| London, England, UK | At The Checkout, Awesome Customers

(I am going to a self-service checkout in the shop. I can see that the screen says it is for cards only. In addition, there is a sign plastered to the machine saying the same.)

Employee: “Just to let you know: that’s card only.”

Me: “Okay.”

(I put my goods down. He is still looking at me, so I look up.)

Employee: “You won’t be able to use cash.”

Me: “…I know; it’s alright. I have a card on me.”

Employee: “Sorry. You’d be surprised how many people will try to pay in cash despite all the warnings.”

Me: “Really?”

Employee: “Yeah, it happens all the time.”

(I scan my first item. The machine immediately says in a loud voice: ‘This till will only accept cards. Do you wish to continue?’ I stare at the employee, who walks off, laughing. My faith in humanity went down that day.)

A Detergent Deterrence

| RI, USA | Family & Kids, Health & Body, Liars & Scammers, Theme Of The Month

(The market I work at keeps the packages of detergent pods on the middle shelf. A customer sees where they are, and flips out.)

Customer: “Excuse me, miss?!”

Me: “How can I help you?”

Customer: “Is there anyone I can talk to about the placement of the detergent pods?”

Me: “Our manager isn’t in right now. If you want, I can give you his name so you can bring the matter up with him at a later date.”

Customer: “I want you to do something about it now! These are poisonous to young children. If a child were to open one of these and eat one in the store, you would have a major lawsuit on your hands!”

Me: “We’ve never had an issue with the placement of the product before, but I could see if the acting manager can do something about it.”

(I go to page the acting store manager to the aisle. When I return to the aisle, the customer is nowhere to be seen, but there is a young girl trying to open one of the containers. Upon seeing me the young child drops the container on the floor causing them to spill everywhere.)

Child: “I’m sorry!”

(As if on cue, the customer comes flying into the aisle.)

Customer: “See what I mean?! It’s a good thing you were here to stop this little girl before she ate one! I can’t imagine what would have happened if you hadn’t come into the aisle when you had! See how easy it is for a child to get into them?!”

Child: “But Mommy, you told me to open it!”

(The customer turns beet red, grabs her daughter, and sprints from the aisle. Thankfully she is stopped by the acting manager who had heard the entire exchange. It turns out that the woman had pulled the same stunt at several other markets in the area to get some form of compensation. She was forced to pay for the detergent pods in the end.)