Taking The Ham-Fisted Approach

, | Australia | Right | May 22, 2015

(I work in a supermarket deli, and whilst we’ve never had any real problem customers, we do get plenty who come across as a little dim. One of my coworkers is getting sick of it.)

Coworker: “I don’t get it. How many people can there possibly be who can’t just READ the labels?”

(At this point, a customer walks up.)

Customer: “I want that ham.”

Coworker: “Sorry, which one?”

Customer: *points* “That ham.”

Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing.”

Customer: *points again* “That ham.”

Coworker: “I can’t see where you’re pointing. Which ham are you pointing to?”

Customer: *rolls eyes* “That ham.”

(My coworker indicates to the top of the case, which is metal, she starts talking very slowly.)

Coworker: “See this? This is metal. I can’t see through metal! You’re going to have to READ the label.”

Customer: *points frantically* “Right there! That ham!”

(At this point, my coworker gives up, grabs a random ham, weighs it up and hands it to the customer, who snatches it and walks away. My coworker turns to me, wide-eyed.)

Coworker: “I’ll be surprised if I don’t get a complaint for that…”

Me: *shakes head* “You’re crazy.”

(After that outburst she was in a much better mood. She never did get a complaint but she scared herself into being a little more patient after that.)

A Cereal Deal Finder

| PA, USA | Related | May 18, 2015

(My dad and I are at the checkout counter. I buy my own things. The store is running a ‘spend $100 and get a free turkey’ promo. My dad is always on the lookout for a deal, and has no problems spending $100+, so he grabs a turkey. But of course, THIS time…)

Cashier: “All right, your total is $97.”

Dad: “What? It figures….”

Me: *looking at the checkout counter’s candy rack* “Hey, dad, want to get a couple candy bars to make it up?”

(Dad looks at the rack, and then turns to my items, on the belt behind his.)

Dad: “What have you got here?”

Me: *indicating a box of cereal* “Well, that’s $4.60—”

(Dad grabs it and puts it with his items, and the cashier rings it up.)

Cashier: “All right, your total is $101.”

Dad: “Just enough!”

(We all chuckled. What my dad will do to get a deal sometimes…)

Trash-Talking Ponies

, | FL, USA | Working | May 11, 2015

Manager: “[My Name], can you help that customer?”

Assistant Manager: “[My Name], can you get those wings? Remember, make three kinds from two bags.”

Me: “Yeah, yeah, I got it.”

(The oven begins to buzz.)

Assistant Manager: “[My Name], can you put price tags on these cups of chicken


Me: “Hang on; I’m trying to do four things at once here.”

Manager: “[My Name], can you take out the trash?”

Me: “Make that five things.”

Assistant Manager: “Heh heh.”

Me: “Anything else?”

Assistant Manager: “Yeah, I want a pony. No, wait, make that a unicorn!”

Me: “Well, [Local University]’s mascot is the Pegasus. I don’t know about unicorns, but maybe they have one of those there.”

Assistant Manager: “I don’t want a Pegasus; I want a unicorn! No, wait. I want Rainbow Brite’s horse! Ugh… that was one of my favorite cartoons and now I can’t remember its name!”

Me: “Well, s***, don’t ask me what it is.”

Manager: “…Starlite?”

(Our manager is a 39-year-old man.)

Me: “Ooookay, that’s it. I’m outta here. I’m outta here before I inhale some pixie dust or something.”

(I grabbed the trash cart and headed out of the department as both managers began cracking up.)

Please Use It Anywhere But Here

| NJ, USA | Right | May 3, 2015

(I’m working as a cashier when I have a customer who is ready to pay for her order.)

Me: “Your total is [total].”

Customer: “I have this [Other Retail Store] gift card I’d like to use first.”

Me: “Does it say Visa, Mastercard, etc. on the card? Those kinds of gift cards you can use here, otherwise it’s just a card for [Other Retail Store].”

Customer: “Well, this thing says I can use this card anywhere for gas and groceries.”

(The customer has a MasterCard credit card from the other retail store and it looks as though she received the gift card as a reward for getting enough points on it.)

Me: “That gift card is only useable at [Other Retail Store].”

Customer: “It says right here I can use this anywhere.”

(I look at the holder that the gift card was in. While it says you can use your card anywhere, it obviously applies to the credit card, not the gift card.)

Me: “No, it’s saying you can use your [Other Retail Store] credit card anywhere. I’m guessing you got this gift card as a reward from getting enough points on your credit card.”

Customer: “No, I can use this anywhere. Get me your manager.”

Me: “Okay, but I’m telling you right now she’s going to say the same thing I’m telling you.”

(I call my manager and ask her to come over immediately. The customer explains what her issue is.)

Manager: “Ma’am, my cashier is right. You can’t use this gift card here. It says here you can use your MasterCard anywhere and you got this gift card as reward to use at [Other Retail Store].”

(They go back and forth for a minute and for a brief second I think maybe the customer gets it… I was wrong.)

Customer: “You don’t know what you’re talking about. I’ll call [Other Retail Store] and prove that I can use this gift card here!”

You Say Potato I Say Fail

| Canada | Working | May 1, 2015

(I am training a new hire to work as a cashier. She has been informed that in addition to completing several computer modules, she will need to memorize 50 PLU codes for fruits and vegetables and pass a test on them before she can complete her training.)

Me: “So here’s the PLU list. You have a couple of weeks before your test; just learn a few new codes every day and you’ll ace it!

Trainee: “Okay!”

(A week passes.)

Me: “So, how are you getting on with those codes?”

Trainee: “Oh, really good! I know all the potatoes!” *looks at me for approval*

Me: *nodding encouragingly* “Okay, that’s three, what else?”

Trainee: “Well… that’s it right now, but… ALL the potatoes. That’s good, right?”

Me: “…”

Trainee: “I’ll keep working on it, I promise.”

(At her next training session, I asked again about her progress on the codes. She avoided eye contact and gave a vague answer. I warned her that the test was coming up soon and reminded her she would need get at least 80% to pass. She said she would be fine and brushed me off. She didn’t pass.)

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