Under New But Same Management

| UK | Working | July 22, 2015

(In the supermarket in which I work each department has it’s own office. I am only 19 but have recently been promoted to become the manager of my department, and I am also today’s duty manager. About half an hour before we open in the morning I have already completed my departments opening tasks and I am sat with the checkout supervisor at her desk with my feet up. Each department wears different colour name badges.)

Checkout Supervisor: “Hey, [Home and Leisure supervisor] looks angry.”

(She storms over to us.)

H&L Supervisor: “You guys are so f****** lazy. You never do any work and take all the credit for everything.”

Me: “Excuse me, but I’ve already–”

H&L Supervisor: *interrupts* “No. Don’t give me your stupid f***ing excuses. Go and do your godd*** job. I’ll be talking to your manager when she’s in.” *storms off again*

(A few hours later, the store is open and I am catching up on some paperwork in my office while the supervisor under me keeps an eye on things. The H&L Supervisor from earlier bursts in unannounced.)

Me: “Hello, you’ve come to complain about one of my employees, I presume?”

H&L Supervisor: *you can see her face fall* “Umm…” *walks out*

Totally Over The Leftovers

| FL, USA | Working | July 22, 2015

(I work in the deli section of my store. At 8 pm, we remove all the unsold food from our hot case and wing bar to throw it out. We have dumped all that food into a cardboard box which is sitting on a cart behind the counter but haven’t thrown it out yet. Ten minutes later, I see two cashiers from the front end picking through the old wings at the top of the pile of old food and putting them in to-go boxes.)

Me: “You don’t want those.”

Cashier #1: “Yeah, we do.”

Cashier #2: “They look like they’re still good to me.”

Me: “That’s gross. They’re all hard and crusty and old.”

Cashier #1: “That’s what she said!”

Me: *shuddering* “God, I hope she didn’t say that!”

Solid Parenting

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | Related | July 8, 2015

(A young couple with their six-month-old are in my line. They’re discussing how expensive their shop is.)

Wife: “It’s the baby formula that does it. Without that it would be under a hundred dollars.”

(The husband, in a wondrous example of a dad joke, turns to the infant.)

Husband: “Yeah. Hurry up and eat solids, will you?”

Hey, [His Name]

, | Australia | Right | June 30, 2015

(At my deli we have a worker named Naim. We pronounce it exactly the same as the word ‘name.’)

Customer: “How long till the hot chickens come out?”

Coworker #1: “I’m not sure. Hey, Naim, do you know?”

Coworker #2: “Half an hour, I think—”

Customer: “That’s INCREDIBLY rude! Are you just too lazy to learn his name?”

Coworker #2: “But… that is my name.”

(He shows the customer his name tag, and she immediately brightens and apologises.)

Coworker #1: *starts laughing* “If I call anyone Nametag then I’ll be in trouble.” *turns to me* “Right, Nametag?”

(I can’t help but giggle, and the customer just rolls her eyes and walks away.)

Avoiding The Meat Of The Problem

| UK | Right | June 27, 2015

(I work at a customer service desk in a large supermarket.)

Me: “How can I help?”

Customer: “I want a refund for this frozen chicken!”

Me: “Okay, so what seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “I put it in the oven for a whole hour and it’s still pink inside!”

Me: “Um, okay. I would suggest putting it in the oven for longer then, ma’am.”

Customer: “Are you calling me stupid?!”

Me: “No, I’m just suggesting that it is pink because it’s not cooked properly.”

Customer: “Just because I’m not a chicken cooking expert like you!”

Me: “I’ve been vegetarian for 13 years, ma’am…”

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