icon_ruderisque

Gourd-ing Yourself Against Bad Jokes

| Brighton, England, UK | At The Checkout, Popular, Rude & Risque

(I just popped in to get some items in my local supermarket and this is my awkward conversation with the cashier.)

Cashier: “Did you find everything all right?”

Me: “Yes, yes, thank you.”

(By this point I had loaded up some chocolate, ice cream, yogurt etc. on to the conveyer.)

Me: “Huh looks like a lonely-girl’s-night-in purchase!”

(The cashier gave me a weird look, so I assumed they didn’t get my joke. I finished up the transaction in silence and started to walk home. It wasn’t until I got home and unpacked that I realised the reason the cashier gave me a funny look. I bought a cucumber. Safe to say I didn’t step foot in there again for quite some time!)

icon_wildunruly

Does A Good Job Of Making A Fool Out Of Himself

| UK | Bad Behavior, Wild & Unruly

(I work in a supermarket that is in a mainly ethnic area. One night, a man has done his shopping and is doing what he wants while I and a colleague chat and have a laugh. He suddenly turns around and walks up to my coworker.)

Customer: “Are you making fun of me?!”

Coworker: “Erm, no, I’m just talking to [My Name].”

Customer: *getting more angry* “YOU THINK YOU CAN MAKE A FOOL OF ME?!” *proceeds to swing his arms and flip over the cart of groceries he had just brought and leaves the supermarket*

Me: “What the f*** was that about?”

Coworker: “I don’t know, but he does that every time he comes here.”

icon_liarsscammers

The Great Snuggle Smuggle Muddle

| USA | At The Checkout, Liars & Scammers

(I work the self-checkouts when this happens.)

Customer: “These four [Brand] dishwasher pod packs are ringing up wrong. They should be 50 percent off!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll suspend the order for you, and you can take it right up to customer service where they can check the tags in the aisle, and then fix it if they did ring up wrong.”

Customer: “NO, NO, NO! Take them off my bill! I’ll pay and check myself!”

Me: “Okay, no problem. I’ll set them aside.”

(The customer leaves and doesn’t come back. My boss comes over.)

Boss: “Are these returns?”

Me: “Yeah, they weren’t on sale so she didn’t want them.”

Boss: “Hey, wait this one’s open, and it feels heavier than it should. Hold on. There’s only supposed to be twenty pods in here and there’s six or seven extra [Brand] pods, and a few Snuggle pods in here, also.”

Boss & Me: “She tried to smuggle Snuggle! She’s the Snuggle Smuggler!”

icon_awesome

Way Too Chicken For That

, | England, UK | Awesome Customers, Awesome Workers, Bizarre

(I’m in the process of taking some whole chickens out of the oven.)

Customer: “Don’t do it!”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Customer: “Sticking your head in the oven, don’t do it!”

Me: *realising she’s joking around* “You mean this isn’t a tanning salon?”

Customer: “It really isn’t! Don’t do it!”

Me: “Dang, I’m in the wrong place!”

Customer: “You really are!”

(Nothing like a bit of random to liven up the afternoon!)

icon_criminals

Heroic Rescue Required On Aisle Three

| Antwerp, Belgium | Awesome Customers, Criminal & Illegal, Popular

(I’m a customer in this one. I’m in line at the registers when the girl behind the till opens the register to take out change. The customer punches her in the face and grabs a handful of 50€ bills from the register and runs for it! On his way out he checks over his back looking if he’s followed and fails to see another customer swing his arm back. He runs, full speed, face first, into the other customer’s fist. His upper body tilts backwards while his legs keep going for a bit, and he ends up knocking the back of his head on the floor; he’s out cold. The customer takes the money and returns it to the cashier, and then turns to the manager who just dialed the police.)

Customer: “Do you think I’ll be able to get my shopping done before I have to go down to the station to testify and stuff?”

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