The First Amendment Is On Holiday

| Tampa, FL, USA | Right | December 23, 2015

(It’s the holiday season and I am Jewish. For the holidays I am allowed to wear a little pin dreidel that flashes little lights when I turn it on. Out of respect for other people’s differences of religion, I choose to opt out of saying “Merry Christmas” and instead just wish a “Happy Holidays” to everyone. A customer has just finished paying for their groceries and I have bagged everything myself, since we were short on baggers.)

Me: “Okay, ma’am, you have a wonderful day and Happy Holidays!”

Customer: “No, young lady! You said it wrong! It is not Happy Holidays; it’s Merry Christmas! Honestly! You need to quit being such a terrorist! People like you are tearing this country apart!”

Me: *very confused* “Excuse me? How am I a terrorist?!

Customer: “You need to learn how to accept Christ and the Constitution in your heart and stop this hateful and destructive behavior! We need to keep the Christ in Christmas!”

Me: “Well, ma’am, I am sorry if I offended you. But, Jewish and I don’t celebrate Christmas. I just try to—”

Customer: *cutting me off* “OH, MY GOD!! Does your manager know?!”

(She scoffs and leaves the store muttering how she’s never going to shop here again. The customer behind her walks up to the register shaking his head.)

Customer #2: “Christ and the Constitution? Apparently she doesn’t know what the First Amendment is.”

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Revenge Needs To Be Just As Rich(ie)

| Kent, England, UK | Related | December 20, 2015

(A coworker is serving a male customer. As I walk past, I catch sight of his T-shirt, which says “Lionel Richie Appreciation Society.” The customer notices me looking at it.)

Customer: *chuckling* “This? It’s because of a bet.”

Coworker: *smiling* “One you lost?”

Customer: “Not quite. My brother bought it for me for my birthday and bet me I wouldn’t wear it. I wore it for almost a week at the Isle of Wight recently.”

(My co-worker and I both laugh. A little old lady walks over.)

Little Old Lady: “Oh, I love Lionel Richie! He’s so lovely!”

(She walks off.)

Customer: “Although that did tend to happen a bit… Still, my brother’s birthday isn’t for a few more months. Gives me plenty of time to think of my revenge…”

No Excuse For Bad Behavior

| London, England, UK | Right | December 9, 2015

(I am walking past as a customer who is trying to get the manager’s attention.)

Customer: *practically shouting* “EXCUSE ME? HELLO?!”

Manager: “Is that how you talk to people?”

Customer: “Well, you were ignoring me.”

Manager: “I didn’t realise you were talking to me, but is that how you talk to people?”

Customer: “Well, I needed to know something.”

Manager: “I don’t care if I work here or not. You don’t talk to people like that, so, no, I won’t be helping you.”

(I smiled at the manager and thought, good for him, not letting the customer talk to him like crap!)

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Not Quite A Toast To Intelligence

| | Right | December 9, 2015

(Two employees who speak minimal English seemed to be having difficulty dealing with a customer. I go over to see if I can help.)

Me: “Hi. Is there anything I can help you with?”

Customer: “Yes. I’m looking for uncooked toast.”

Me: “You mean bread? Our bakery de—”

Customer: “No. uncooked toast.”

(I am momentarily stumped. Then…)

Me: “Can you describe uncooked toast?”

Customer: “Yeah, It comes in slices, and you can put four of them in the toaster.”

Me: “Yeah, I think we have that…”

(I show him a package of sliced bread.)

Me: “Is this what you’re looking for?”

Customer: “Yes, finally.”

(He leaves. I turn to coworkers.)

Me: “Sliced bread. He wanted sliced bread…”

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There’s A Meth To His Madness

| Australia | Working | December 7, 2015

(I’ve been working a long shift and spy an older guy checking out a display of soft drinks. Thinking he is trying to choose, I suggest:)

Me: “The full range is in the drinks aisle if you wanted an easier choice.”

Customer: “Oh, no, I didn’t want any. I just wanted to know how much sugar is in it.”

Me: “Well, it’s soft drink, so probably lots.”

(He nods, then picks up the sugar free one.)

Customer: “What about this stuff? Any better?”

Me: “You don’t want that either. It has methamphetamine in it.”

(He pauses after a few seconds, and looks up at me.)

Customer: “I don’t think that’s what you meant, is it?”

(I catch the gaffe and apologise.)

Me: “I mean aspartame!”

Customer: *laughs* “It probably has all of it in there somewhere, anyway.”

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