Give Her Family Credit

| Canberra, ACT, Australia | At The Checkout, Family & Kids, Money

(Our system uses a PLU (Product Listed Under) list, which consists of numbers from 1-200, which are used for produce, milk, flowers, and meat coming through the registers. It has been a long busy day and I was getting a bit bored with repeating the same spiel over and over, so I decided to mix it up a little bit.)

Me: “Your total comes to $94.55. Would you like to pay by cash, card, or firstborn child today?”

Customer: “Firstborn child? How much is she worth?”

Me: *turns to customer’s daughter* “How old are you this year?”

Customer’s Daughter: “I’m five and two thirds!”

(I put the number five into the system, which corresponds with a 750 gram bag of tomatoes, worth $3.50.)

Me: *to the customer* “She’s worth $3.50.”

Customer: “D***, not enough. It’ll have to be card.”

(The transaction finishes and she starts to head off.)

Customer: “Can I pay with my husband next time?”

Wish You Were Just Pulling My Leg

| Taylor, MI, USA | At The Checkout, Bizarre, Food & Drink

(I was working as a cashier when a customer comes up with a cart full of two-packs of turkey legs.)

Me: “Wow, these are pretty big; they make me think of renaissance festival turkey legs.”

Customer: “Yeah, exactly! I’m going to put them in my smoker. They come out just like that.”

Me: “Oh, sounds nice! Now I’m craving one!” *laughs*

Customer: “You are? I could give you one if you like!”

(I laugh it off as a joke and finish the transaction normally. However, a couple of days later, I see the customer return with a food container in the child seat of her cart.)

Customer: “Oh! I was hoping you were working this shift again. Guess what I brought you!”

(She opens the container and pulls out a whole turkey leg, smoked so much it’s falling off the bone she’s holding it by.)

Customer: “I brought you one like I said!”

Me: *surprised* “I… uh? Thank you, but… I really can’t take it!”

Customer: “No, it’s okay. I have plenty. You saw. You said you wanted one right? Take it!”

(I continue to politely refuse while she literally shoved the turkey leg at me, it’s falling apart on my belt and getting grease everywhere.)

Me: *desperate* “I can’t eat on the job. I could get in trouble!”

Customer: “Oh, well… I’ll just leave you it here for it later then.”

(She puts the turkey leg right on the belt and hurries off like nothing happened, leaving me to clean up the greasy mess. It was a nice gesture but an odd one at that!)

This ID Is Sub-par

| Westchester, NY, USA | At The Checkout, Food & Drink, Money

(I am the customer in this story. I am checking out with a few items of food and some beer. I keep my ID and subway card in the same pocket of my wallet.)

Cashier: “Could I see some ID?”

Me: “Sure!”

(Not paying any attention, I hand her my subway card.)

Cashier: *holds card while staring at me, waiting for me to notice it’s not a driver’s license* “Um…”

Me: “Oh, oops! Sorry!” *hands her my ID*

Her Coworker: *while bagging my groceries* “Now, if it was a twenty, that might have worked!”