Fighting Sleep And The Law

| Australia | Right | August 19, 2016

(I work in service at a supermarket. This is one of my first customers on a busy Saturday morning:)

Me: “Hey. How you going?”

Customer: “Why do you look like that?”

Me: “I’m tired…”

Customer: “WELL, WHAT DO YOU EXPECT IF YOU GO OUT CLUBBING AND DRINKING ALL NIGHT! IT’S YOUR OWN FAULT.”

Me: “Uhmm, I was home studying last night…”

Customer: “Sure you were; what are you even studying?”

Me: “Law.”

Customer: “Oh. Well, just to let you know, when you graduate, don’t get your hopes up that you’re going to get a job as soon as you finish, because believe me, someone will always do the exact same job you can for cheaper and better!”

Me: “…”

(He continued ranting about how I needed to drop my expectations about my future workforce until he finally paid and I gave him his receipt.)

Being Polite Right Up To My Face

| England, UK | Friendly | August 13, 2016

(We are waiting in line for face painting with our four year old. As we near the front, someone clearly cuts in. As it’s free and a nice day we don’t cause a fuss. The face painter sees this but carries on anyway.)

Face Painter: “So, what would you like today, little boy?”

Boy: “Batman!”

Face Painter: “Okay.”

(She paints a very basic yellow and black style with the logo on.)

Face Painter: “Thank you, bye.”

(The boy and his parent disappear without a work of thanks.)

Face Painter: “And what would you like, little girl?”

Daughter: “Could I be a cat, please?”

Face Painter: “Of course you can.”

(She spends ages laying up colours, and chatting to my daughter. The result is the best we have ever seen. To finish it off she paints delicate multi-colour flowers on her cheeks.)

Daughter: *sees herself in the mirror* “Wow, thank you!”

Face Painter: “No worries, anything for a polite little girl like you.”

(Manners cost nothing and sometimes you even get something for free!)

No ID, No Idea, Part 26

| WA, USA | Right | August 9, 2016

(I’m a cashier at a large chain supermarket, and our policy is to card everyone who orders alcohol and cigarettes who looks under the age of 40. There are two people in line buying alcohol, and I card the lady in front and explain the policy. After I’m done it’s the man behind her’s turn, and I’m not about to card him.)

Customer: *scoffs* “What, not gonna card me?”

Me: “All right. May I see your ID, then?”

(He proceeds to hold out his wallet, with the ID in the viewslot. We’re not allowed to accept it that way, so I ask him to remove it. When he hands it to me, I notice it has a hole punched in the upper-right corner.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, this ID has a hole punched in it. That means it’s invalid and we can’t accept it.”

Customer: “No, it’s valid. They did that…”

(I proceed to call my manager over who was passing by.)

Manager: “Nope. Sorry, sir, but we can’t accept an ID that has a hole punched in it. We can’t sell it to you.”

(The customer leaves in a huff.)

Me: *to Manager* “I wasn’t even gonna card him. He insisted.”

Manager: *laughs*

Related:
No ID, No Idea, Part 25
No ID, No Idea, Part 24
No ID, No Idea, Part 23

Has Their Own Pulp Fiction

, | NJ, USA | Friendly | August 1, 2016

(I am visiting a couple I am friendly with. Since the husband is disabled, the wife drafts me to be her beast of burden while she goes grocery shopping. While at the store:)

Friend: “What kind of orange juice do you like?”

Me: “Lots of pulp.”

Friend: “Well, my family doesn’t like pulp, so is it okay if I buy without pulp?”

Me: *wondering why she asked* “Of course.”

(The next morning at breakfast:)

Friend: “Do you want orange juice?”

Me: “No, thank you.”

Friend: “What do you mean?! I bought it for you!”

Oh, My Gourd!

| Washington, DC, USA | Romantic | July 25, 2016

(My boyfriend and I, both male, are in a supermarket. I’m having issues with allergies that have made my eyes red and sore. We’re buying a cucumber so I can put cucumber slices over my eyes. Note: the area we are in has a large gay population.)

Boyfriend: *looking through the cucumbers* “Let’s make sure we get a good one so we can eat it afterward!”

Me: “…”

Everyone Else: “…”

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