My Audience Of Two Will Be Enraptured!

, , , , | Right | October 10, 2018

(I’m working on the tills and I am approached by a woman holding a packet of crisps. She doesn’t put them on the belt but holds them out to me. She has the look of a very stern headmistress.)

Customer: “I found this on the shelf reduced to 10p. They went off at the end of last month.”

Me: “Ah, yes. We reduced it because it was near the expiration date.”

Customer: “It is illegal to reduce stock after it has expired. Did you know that?”

Me: “It was likely reduced as it neared the best-before date to clear it off the shelves. We are allowed to sell stock which is nearing or has gone past its best-before date up to a month afterwards.”

Customer: *in a patronising tone* “Really? Well, that’ll be something interesting to write in my blog.”

(She strutted off looking very superior. For a few seconds, I stared after her, still holding the crisps. Behind her a male customer was trying his hardest not to laugh. I checked with a supervisor later and he clarified what I had said; we throw away stock which has reached the use-by date, but we can sell stock one month after the best-before date. We broke no laws, and hopefully the woman did her research and realised that before she wrote her blog!)

In Her World February Has 150 Days

, , , , | Right | October 9, 2018

(My store sells an extended warranty on select products in the store. However, the warranty is through a different company than the store. Whenever I sell it, I explain that you have to activate it on their website and then contact them if anything is wrong, not the store. We can’t do anything unless it’s within our return policy: thirty days for electronics.)

Woman: *to her daughter, who is about five* “Here.” *hands her a tablet that has a broken screen, with the receipt and warranty pamphlet* “Give it to that lady and she’ll fix it.”

Daughter: *running up to me* “Can you fix this for me?!”

Woman: *to me* “We called earlier to make sure you have it in stock. And someone said you do. We need to exchange it. We called [Extended Warranty Company] and they said to exchange it.”

(I examine the receipt; it’s from February, and it’s currently July. We can’t return the item in the store since it’s over thirty days. Also, there’s a return receipt stapled to it saying the item was already returned.)

Me: “Well, I used to work at the service desk, and we never did any returns for the extended warranty in the store after our return policy days end, which is thirty for electronic items. They usually want you to ship the item to them, and they’ll replace it by giving you money back.”

Woman: “They said it would be $100 to mail it and it would take six weeks to get a check!”

Me: “Huh, that’s weird. Well, let me call the service desk and ask them what to do.”

(The woman’s husband has since arrived, and chimes in.)

Husband: “They let us return it before if it was under warranty!”

Me: *on phone with the desk* “Hey. I have a customer here that called [Warranty Company], and they said to return it in the store, but they bought it in February and there’s another receipt that said it was returned.”

Service Desk: “They have to go through [Warranty Company]. If it was still within thirty days, no problem. But it’s not.”

Me: “All right, that’s what I figured. Thank you.” *to customers* “I’m sorry, but they informed me that since it’s over our thirty-day return policy, we can’t do anything in the store. You have to go through [Warranty Company], but it’s been under a year since you bought it, so it should still have a manufacturer warranty on it. It might be easier to replace it that way.”

Woman: “But they told us we can return it here!”

Me: “Did you tell them when you bought it?”

Woman: “No! Why would I?!”

Me: “Well, they wouldn’t have known that it’s been over our policy for returns. You only have thirty days for electronics, unfortunately, and this was purchased in February.”

Woman: “What do I do, then?!”

Me: “I would contact the manufacturer, and then [Extended Warranty Company]. They will replace it for you.”

Daughter: *to mom* “Will we be getting a new one?”

Woman: *to daughter* “NOPE. Because this woman said no!

(They stormed off.)

Needs To Check Him-Selfie

, , , , , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(It’s a busy but fairly normal shift. After a mad rush of customers it quietens down, and a man in his twenties comes to my till with a “selfie phone case.”)

Me: “That’s £12.99 for that, please.”

(He places two £1 coins and a few 20p coins on the counter. I count them out and look at him expectantly. After a few moments I realise he isn’t going to get out an extra £10.)

Me: “Sorry, it’s £12.99.”

(He still looks gone-out, and then seems to realise he hasn’t got enough.)

Customer: “What am I supposed to do, then?”

Me: “Do you have any extra cash or a debit card?”

(The man ignores me and turns instead to a customer just passing.)

Customer: “Have you got 10p?”

Passing Customer: “What?”

Customer: “I need 10p!”

Passing Customer: “Sorry.”

(The customer leaves, looking baffled.)

Me: “It’s ten pounds, sir.”

(An elderly lady has just joined the queue. He turns to her, instead.)

Customer: “Got £10?”

Elderly Lady: “Pardon?”

Customer: “Can I have £10?”

(Understandably, the lady is looking a little intimidated and confused.)

Me: “I’m sorry, sir, you can’t ask other customers to give you the cash. I can save the item for you behind the till until you do have the money, if you prefer.”

Customer: “Okay. I’ll sort something out.”

(He went, and I apologised to the elderly lady. The man returned about fifteen minutes later, but went to a colleague, and this time he bought a pack of chocolate. I still don’t know why he expected other customers to give him the money, and I don’t know why he thought £3 was enough to pay for something worth £12.99 in the first place. It was clearly labelled on the product and the shelf!)

Coded Incorrectly

, , , | Right | October 5, 2018

(I work on the checkouts of my local supermarket. Our return policy isn’t strictly enforced because it’s mainly regulars that have accidentally picked up the wrong item or have a broken item. A man I’ve never seen before approaches my checkout with a frozen item, and after I finish serving another customer, I approach him.)

Me: “Hi, how can I help you?”

Customer: “I bought the wrong frozen pastry.

Me: “Okay, did you have the receipt with you?”

Customer: “No, but if you scan the barcode it will tell you when I bought it.”

(I’m dumbfounded. That is not how barcodes work, and I try to explain that to him. As I am doing so there is a line forming at my checkout. The man calls his partner, who obviously sent him up to get the right product.)

Customer: *on the phone, as I’m serving the surge of new customers* “She says that’s not how barcodes work…”

(It was obvious that his partner was arguing with him, telling him that I was wrong. In the end I did not put the refund through and I haven’t seen him since.)

They’re Stealing Your Time By Making You Clean Up

, , , , , | Right | October 3, 2018

(I work in an electronics department. Every night we have to lock up expensive items. Since we leave at ten pm, and the store is open 24 hours, no one will be in our department. The manager is helping me with it when this conversation occurs.)

Me: “So, earlier, a father and his two teenage daughters were looking at phone cases. They were sitting in a circle on the floor, trying the cases on their phones. I was working in another aisle at the time but greeted them. After they left, I was doing my rounds through the aisles, conditioning, and I noticed six phone cases out of their packaging, spread around the floor. I was so mad.”

Manager: “Wait, so they stole them?”

Me: “No, the packaging and the cases were there; the cases were just out of the packaging and on the floor.”

Manager: “I was going to say, ‘It’s nice that parents are teaching their children to steal.'”

Me: “It’s just as bad if you think about it; they’re teaching their kids not to clean up after themselves or be respectable in public.”

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