The Tower Of Babble

| New Zealand | Right | June 28, 2010

(Note: I am of Asian descent.)

Me: “Good morning!” *starts scanning groceries*

Customer: “Ni hao!”

Me: “Oh, I’m not Chinese.”

Customer: “Konnichiwa!”

Me: “I’m not–”

Customer: “Shalom!”

Me: “Sir, that’s not even–”

Customer: “Namaste!”

*silence*

Customer: “I know so many languages! So many!

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Curiosity Feeds The Cat

| Victoria, Australia | Right | June 23, 2010

Customer: “Can you help me please?”

Me: “Yes, of course, what can I do for you?”

Customer: “Well, I want to buy some food for my cat, but mine doesn’t look like the one on the packet. Can I still feed it to him?”

Me: “Yes sir, of course.”

Customer: “Wow, really? Thanks!”

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From The Mouth Of Babes, Part 2

| Washington, USA | Right | June 11, 2010

Me: “Can I help you?”

Child: “I don’t get it.”

Me: “What?”

Child: “Are you old or just simple?”

Me: “Excuse me?”

Child: “Cause my mom said everyone who works at [supermarket] is either old or simple.”

(The mother comes running behind him, picks him up, and runs off.)

 

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Early Bird-Brained

| New Zealand | Right | May 21, 2010

(I am at work doing a before-opening clean of the trolley handles and checkout counters.)

Customer: “Excuse me, I’d like to buy these now please.”

Me: “Um, ma’am, I’m not a checkout operator.”

Customer: “Yes, but I’m here now and I’m running late, so can you just run these through the scanner for me?”

Me: “Ma’am, it’s five thirty. There are no checkout operators as we don’t open for another hour and a half.”

Customer: “Oh, I was wondering why there wasn’t anyone in the Deli, but that’s okay because I went back behind the counter and got the ham out the freezer.”

Me: “Ma’am, you’re not allowed to do that. How did you get in? The doors are locked until the security guard gets here.”

Customer: “Oh, I broke the window because I thought your door wasn’t working. Can you run these through for me now?”

 

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Talking Turkey

| United Kingdom | Right | March 17, 2010

(A customer rings the store on Christmas eve to speak to the meat manager.)

Caller: “I’ve bought this turkey from you and there’s no meat on the breast. How am I supposed to feed everyone tomorrow?”

Me: “I’m sorry sir, can I just ask you to check you haven’t put the bird in the oven upside down?”

Caller: “I know how to roast a bloody turkey!”

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of oven door opening*

*sound of oven door closing*

*sound of footsteps*

*sound of phone hanging up*

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