Meatheaded

| | Right | January 24, 2008

(A customer walks up to counter and stares at produce.)

Customer: “Don’t you have any vegetarian sausages?”

Me: “This is a meat counter; we only have meat. We should have some prepacked though.”

Customer: “But, I want to buy from here. Why don’t you sell them?”

Me: “We only have meat on the meat counter, I’m afraid. Is there anything else you would like?”

Customer: “Do you have tofu burgers here??”

Me: “…”

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Miss Impossible

| | Right | November 23, 2007

(Two days before Thanksgiving, people are picking up their orders of turkeys. One customer placed an order late, for a 20 lb. fresh Butterball. We didn’t get many of those, so I reserved a 20 lb. fresh “other” turkey.)

Me: “Well, I do have a previously frozen Butterball that a customer changed their mind on. It’s pretty much thawed out, you could have that.”

Customer: “No, my mother won’t eat frozen turkey.”

Me: “Well, then take the fresh one.”

Customer: “My mother only eats Butterball.”

Me: “This is a Butterball, and since you have to thaw it anyway to cook it, why not take the Butterball?”

Customer: “She won’t eat frozen turkeys.”

Me: “We still have small fresh Butterballs, why not take two of them?”

Customer: “No, my mother is making a turkey too, and I don’t want to have three of them.”

Me: *exasperated*

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Umm … Check The Produce Aisle

| | Right | November 8, 2007

Customer in the frozen food aisle: “Do you have ice cream?”

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