Mature Content Results In Immaturity

, , , , , | Right | June 9, 2017

(I’m working on the till at a small supermarket when a woman walks up with her basket of shopping. I notice that she’s with a young boy, who can’t be older than about 11 and he’s browsing some shelves nearby. I’m ringing up her shopping, when I come to a gaming magazine which is currently running a feature on a popular war game. As I scan it, a warning pops up on my till, asking me to verify the customer’s age.)

Customer: “How much is that? If it’s too expensive, I won’t get it for him.” *she gestures to the young boy*

Me: “Well, it’s [price] but this magazine is only suitable for people over the age of 18 and as you’ve just told me you’re buying it for him, I can’t sell it to you.”

Customer: “What?! Well, it’s not for him.”

Me: “No, I’m sorry; you’ve just said that it’s for him. I really cannot sell you this.” *I put the magazine to one side*

Customer: “Well, that’s ridiculous. It’s for his older brother; he’s at home and he’s 18!”

Me: “You’ve told me that you’re buying this for a child, so our store will not sell this to you.”

(The customer huffs and argues a bit more, as I ring up the rest of her shopping. I read her the total.)

Customer: “So, you’re really not going to sell that to me?”

Me: “That’s right.”

Customer: “Well, I’m just going to have a terrible night with him now! He’s going to be a nightmare!”

(The boy comes over to the till and asks the woman if he can have his magazine.)

Customer: *to the boy* “No! This lady says that you can’t have it!”

Me: *to the customer* “Well, the reason that it’s not suitable for children is that the content of the magazine, just like [Game featured in the magazine] is extremely violent. That’s actually why they’ve put it in a plastic cover; because the images in the magazine are too graphic for children.”

(The customer blushes profusely and looks ashamed. She stays silent as she pays for her shopping.)

Customer: *as she’s picking up her bags* “Just… so… you know, I don’t let him play those horrible games. I’m not a bad mother!”

(She scurried out of the store with the child!)

Unfiltered Story #89465

, , | Unfiltered | June 8, 2017

Bit of background, my sister is just back from 3 months working abroad, so knowing she will want to see me as soon as I get in, I call in the supermarket as I am bursting for the bathroom to avoid having to dash off when arriving home.

After finishing I chat with a friend who works there and go to get some cola. I discover that there is only one crate left on offer and after picking it up it turns out that it has leaked and I have gunk from it all over my hands, not wanting to pay full price I don’t get the smaller crates and plan to come back the next day, and therefore leave the store without buying anything and head back into the bathrooms to wash my hands.

On the way in I see police officers in the store, which is usual as it is opposite a station. Someone enters behind me and I hear them say “You do realize there are police outside”, I assume it’s a kid on the phone who’s being causing trouble for staff and hiding, I turn around from the sinks to see a security guard stood there who says to me “Where’s this bottle of wine?”… I think my shock was that genuine he turned and bolted out of the bathroom, I leave and a customer services staff member is stood there and explains the situation to me and apologizes.

It turns out that as the security guard returned from his break she stated “that old man has taken a bottle of wine” and pointed (Note – I’m 25 and look younger) however the security guard did not hear the “old” part and from what he has seen, a respectable looking gentleman walking out of the store with a bag, and me in front of him, with no bags, heading quickly towards the bathroom. Had I turned around straight away I would have come out to 3 police officers waiting, in a store where numerous friends, relatives and colleagues shop! Luckily the customer services lady had explained this to the police who caught the culprit (who’d bought a cheap item to try avoiding suspicion).

So had my shock not been as genuine as it was I could have been humiliated and pulled into the managers office, with some off duty officers all for a case of mistaken identity! I went back in later to pick the earlier mentioned friend up and the security guard did come up to me and apologize, despite this, I made sure I bought an item this time and kept the receipt close!

Give Yellow Peas A Chance

, , , , , | Right | June 6, 2017

(I make pizzas to order at a large supermarket chain in the UK. We have a selection of toppings to choose from, the vegetable ones being on display at the front. An elderly male customer’s pizza is nearly finished; he is choosing his last topping.)

Customer: *pointing to the tub that clearly contains sweetcorn* “And some yellow peas.”

Me: *trying not to giggle as it put a scoop of it on the pizza* “Aaaand some sweet-corn.”

(We now like to refer to the sweet-corn as ‘yellow peas.’)


Age Is But An Unfriendly Number

, , , , | Related | June 6, 2017

(I’m on the till. A woman who I went to primary school with twenty years earlier comes up with her daughter, aged about 8 or 9.)

School Friend: “Oh, hi, [My Name]! How are you?”

Me: “Hello, [School Friend]! I’m doing okay, thank you.”

(Her daughter is staring at my name badge.)

Daughter: “Hey, you’re not [My Name].”

School Friend: “No, he’s not Uncle [My Name]; he’s another [My Name] that I went to school with.”

Daughter: “Oh.”

School Friend: “It’s like how you’re in the same class as [Male Name #1] and [Male Name #2]. [My Name] and I were in the same class when we were your age.”

Me: “It was 20-odd years ago.”

Daughter: *pause* “Why aren’t you friends any more?”

(Both School Friend and I are taken slightly aback by this.)

School Friend: “Well, we, um…”

Me: “After primary school your mum went to the girls’ school and I went to the boys’ school.”

Daughter: *genuinely puzzled* “But you’re old!”

(We tried explaining again, but she was having a bit of trouble grasping that her mum was once her age and going to school with boys!)

This Kind Of Humor Should Be A (Hoi-Sin)

, , , | Friendly | June 4, 2017

(I have gone to the supermarket, which is three stories with a clock tower. On top of the tower is a duck. I find this amusing so take a photo of it and send it to a group chat on Facebook with the following.)

Me: “I know ducks can fly and all but on top of [Supermarket] clock tower is a little quackers.”

Friend: “He’s visiting his cousins in the frozen aisle. They’re in the spring rolls.”

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