If That’s Molesting It, What Do You Call Eating It?

, , , , , , | | Friendly | July 17, 2019

(I am ten years old. My mother sent me into the shop to pick up milk. After getting the milk, I notice that only one till is open. The woman in front of me has one yogurt on the conveyor. I put down a divider and my milk. At no point do I touch the SINGLE yogurt that this woman has on the conveyor.)

Woman: “Excuse me, did you just molest my yogurt?”

Me: “Sorry, what?”

Woman: “You moved my yogurt!”

Me: “Okay… Sorry. I didn’t but…”

Woman: “It’s not okay! You molested my yogurt!”

Me: “I didn’t. I just want to buy this milk. My mum’s waiting.”

Woman: “You can’t just do that! You can’t just touch other people’s yogurt!”

(Another cashier opened a till, and thankfully I was able to buy my milk and escape unscathed.)

The Chicken Is Done, And So Am I

, , , , , | | Right | July 15, 2019

(My husband and I go to the supermarket deli to pick up dinner, and we get in line behind a lady picking out fried chicken pieces.)

Customer: “Are you sure that’s done?”

Deli Worker: “Yes, I’m sure.”

Customer: “It looks too light to be done. The outside should be darker.”

Deli Worker: “It’s done. It just came out of the oven.”

Customer: “Can you take out a piece to show me?” *to me* “Sorry this is taking so long.”

Me: *forces a polite smile*

Deli Worker: “Okay…” *takes a drumstick out of the hot case with tongs and holds it up*

Customer: “Let me see the inside.”

(The deli worker pulls apart the very HOT drumstick, wincing away from the heat several times in the process. The chicken is clearly white and cooked all the way through.)

Customer: “Let me see it.”

(The deli worker gives it to her. She proceeds to pick it apart and eat it.)

Customer: “I still don’t think it looks done, but I’ll take a dinner box.”

Deli Worker: *after the customer leaves* “Sorry for the wait. What can I get for you?”

Husband: “No worries. It wasn’t your fault.”

Me: *joking* “If I say the chicken doesn’t look cooked, can I get a free drumstick, too?”

Deli Worker: “I can give you a free sample, if you want.”

Me: “No, thanks.”

(We place our order.)

Deli Worker: “Have a nice day.”

Husband: “You, too. Hope the rest of the customers aren’t that difficult.”

Deli Worker: “Yeah… me, too.”

Me: “I think she used up the day’s quota of crazy.”

(After we check out, we hear our cashier ask another:)

Cashier: “What do I do with this box of chicken? The lady said it didn’t look done.”

Me: “Seriously?!”

Making Sour Grapes By Sampling Sweet Ones

, , , , | | Right | July 11, 2019

(Working nights in a supermarket, you see a lot of strange things and strange people. There is a mother/daughter duo who comes in a couple of times a week to shop, and they always ride around in the motorized carts. They are lazy, not disabled. I am the third-shift assistant manager, and the third-shift store manager and I are headed up to the front of the store to buy food for our lunch break. We notice the mother/daughter duo popping lids off of cakes in the bakery and we go over to see what was going on. They are scraping frosting off with their fingers, eating it, and then putting the lids back on the cakes!)

Store Manager: “What the h*** do you think you’re doing?!”

(The mom looks up and says, with complete innocence:)

Mom: “We’re just sampling… you know… like when you eat a grape.”

(We kicked them out and banned them from the store.)

Nut The Kind Of Thing You Should Forget

, , , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I am working at our customer service counter when a lady walks up.)

Me: “Hello, ma’am. How can I help you?”

Customer: “I would like to return these.”

(The customer hands me two cans of almonds she had bought on sale. I notice they are open, so I ask if anything is wrong with them and if she just wants to exchange them out.)

Customer: “Oh, no. They were fine. I just forgot I was allergic to nuts when I bought them.”

(I just kind of stare at her.)

Me: “Oh… okay.”

When The Faceless Men Take Over The Store

, , | | Right | July 8, 2019

(I am working the till at our Bio-chain. I am in training for another store, which will open up in about two months. About two-thirds of the new staff is in this store, in training. A customer approaches my till. I wish him a good afternoon and start scanning his items, when suddenly:)

Customer: “You know what you should tell your bosses? Tell your bosses that I am not amused. There are too many new faces working here!”

Me: *startled, but trying to remain cheerful* “Well, that’s because we are all in training here for the new store in [Location #3].”

Customer: “There are too many new faces; tell your bosses! Why are there so many new faces? Is there such a big rollover in this company?”

Me: “Well, because this store has such a good reputation, they get to train a lot of the recruits. They trained the people for [Location #1], then the people for [Location #2], and now they’re training us.”

Customer: “Well, there’s still too many new faces, so tell your bosses!”

Me: *gives up* “When our new store opens in two months, us new faces won’t trouble you again.”

Customer: *angry* “That’s not what I meant at all!” *storms out*

(Later, I told my boss about this. She was utterly confused as to what the customer’s problem was, too, or what we were supposed to do about it.)

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