Sealed With A Lie

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2019

(It is company policy not to return baby milk — both powdered and liquid — for safety reasons. Even if the seal is on the milk, we cannot guarantee it hasn’t been tampered with. This causes a few issues, as people get quite angry when they’re told we will not refund them for the milk. It should be noted that these products are sold in every supermarket and locally-owned corner shop. Also, the supermarket I work for puts security tags on their clothes disguised in the form of little cardboard tags that have the brand name on, and have security tags inside. My coworker deals with this lady.)

Customer: “Hi. I brought this baby milk and found the weirdest thing inside when I opened it! It’s quite dangerous in my opinion. Is it okay to get a refund?”

Coworker: “Well, it’s actually company policy not to return milk for any reason. What was wrong with it?”

Customer: “I found one of your security tags inside when I opened it!”

Coworker: “Er… Okay. So, the seal was broken already?”

Customer: “No, that’s the weird thing! The seal was intact. Here, I have my receipt for it.”

(My coworker rang a manager. Unfortunately, despite the fact she was obviously lying in order to get a refund, we couldn’t accuse her of it due to “keeping the customer happy.” The manager said to just refund it but to take down her details. I get that’s it’s annoying if you pick up the wrong milk and can’t get a refund. But at least come up with a plausible lie!)

Getting Them To Open Their Bags Is Murder

, , , | Legal | March 16, 2019

(In my store, which is inside a small shopping mall, there has been an increase in theft. The management tells us to ALWAYS ask to open the bags as they come through the checkouts. At one point, a young man walks by a cash register with a backpack.)

Cashier: “Hello, you can open your bag, please?”

Young Guy: *angry* “Why? I don’t want to open it!”

Cashier: “Sorry, it’s now an obligation.”

Young Guy: “But I didn’t steal anything, b****!”

(He looks like he’s ready to hit her. Out of fear, the cashier calls mall security.)

Mall Security Guard: “She asked you to open your bag. That’s the rule.”

(He opens it.)

Young Guy: “There is a bottle, but I already had it when I entered! I introduced it at the reception!”

(The security guard is looking, indeed, at the label that the reception puts on the things customers have on them at the entrance of the store.)

Young Guy: “I knew I would be accused of stealing it if I showed it!”

Mall Security Guard: “No, with this label, there would have been no problem!”

Young Guy: “That’s right!” *he turns to the cashier* “Anyway, I’ll come back. If you ever finish at 7:00, I’ll kill you!”

(The store manager arrives at the checkout in the meantime. The young person pays for his shopping by card and leaves.)

Store Manager: “He paid by card; we have his name. If you want, you can go file a death threat complaint. We’ll cover for you.”

(Too bad he won’t have any trouble for theft since he didn’t steal anything, but he’ll get in trouble for death threats!)

Lift Them Up From The 1950s

, , | Right | March 15, 2019

(I’m working in the floral section, stocking flowers for a holiday, when an older male customer approaches me. I’m female and carrying heavy-looking boxes.)

Customer: “You really shouldn’t be doing that.”

Me: *confused look*

Customer: “You should get a man to lift that for you.”

Me: “No, it’s fine. It’s not that heavy, anyway.”

Customer: “Really, you should get a man to do that. Women shouldn’t lift things. It makes it so you cannot bear children.”

Me: *laughs kind of awkwardly* “It’s really fine.”

Customer: *starting to get agitated* “I’m not joking. Lifting will make you unable to bear children!”

Me: *starting to get uncomfortable, I lay the box down as it’s in the area it needs to be, anyway*

Customer: *walking away muttering* “She really shouldn’t be doing that.”

(I have no idea why he thought any of that was a good idea to tell a complete stranger, but he just seemed really concerned for my wellbeing.)


, , , | Right | March 11, 2019

(I am on the register, putting a woman’s groceries through.)

Me: “In total, that is [above £100].”

Woman: “Oh, I don’t have that much in cash.”

Me: “Card, then?”

Woman: “No, I don’t trust those card thingies.”

Me: “There’s a cash machine just outside. I can hold your things for you.”

Woman: “No, no. That won’t do.”

Me: “I can suspend the transaction until you can get the money.”

Woman: “No.”

(She then stands looking from me to her watch to the entrance for about five minutes. I try to come up with other solutions for her, but she refuses each one. After enough time, my register logs me out. I start signing back in.)

Woman: “I told you I didn’t want to suspend it!”

Me: “I’m just logging back in. We’ve done nothing for so long that it has kicked me out.”

(She blushes and continues her bizarre ritual. Everyone is confused now, from the other customers and cashiers, to the duty manager on the kiosk. Finally, when she looks to the entrance she jumps and claps her hands together. I look, as well, and see a man, out of breath and red-faced, running up to us.)

Man: “I’ll… pay for that… for you!”

(The woman looked at him like he was a guardian angel. He put his card to the reader, but as the price was over £30, it denies the wireless payment. When he put his card in the reader, the woman whispered something to him and he put the PIN in. Once everything was paid, the man put all the bags into the trolley and the woman literally JUMPED ON HIS BACK and he gave her a piggyback ride while pushing the trolley. He was still out of breath. It’s safe to say everyone was clueless as to what was happening.)

One Minute Into The New Day And It Already Sucks

, , , | Right | March 9, 2019

(The supermarket in my area closes at midnight. I’ve just finished my late-night shopping and am exiting the store with my cart. It’s 12:01 am. A man parks his car and starts walking towards the store.)

Employee: “We’re closed.”

Customer: “[Supermarket]s don’t close.” *continues walking*

Employee: “This one closes at midnight. It’s not a supercenter.”

Customer: *continuing to approach* “Bulls***. [Supermarket]s don’t close.”

(Two other, rather burly employees block the entrance/exit door.)

Customer: *to them* “Outta the way!”

Burly Employees: “We’re closed.”

Customer: “[Supermarket]s don’t close!” *tries to get past them, but can’t*

Me: “This one does, you ignorant motherf*****!”

(He finally turns away and starts heading back to his car, but pauses to yell one more broadside over his shoulder at the employees.)

Man: “You’re all idiots! [Supermarket]s DON’T CLOSE!”

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