Not How You Monopolize That Promotion

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2019

(I’m working front counter after a certain Monopoly promotion has just ended.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: *hands me a Monopoly piece flipped down so I can’t see what it is* “I want this.”

Me: *looks at it* “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t give you Pacific Avenue.”

(I have to say, that did make my day better.)

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They Asked For Your ID Card, Not Your Race Card, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 28, 2018

(While waiting in line to pay a bill at the local water company, this happens in front of me.)

Customer: *an older gentleman, notably Mexican* “I want to open an account at [Location] in my daughter’s name.”

Cashier: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I either need her to come in here to do it herself, or you need papers signed by her, including a copy of her driver’s license.”

Customer: “What? Why do I need all that?”

Cashier: “Company policy, sir.”

Customer: “You know what I think this is?”

Cashier: “What’s that, sir?”

Customer: “This is a brown-skin issue.”

Cashier: “No? That has nothing to do with it.”

Customer: “Yes, it does! This is a skin issue! I’ve been paying bills here for 40 years and never had a problem before now!”

Cashier: “Paying a bill is entirely different from opening an account; that has nothing to do with this.”

Customer: “Then explain why you’re making this so difficult!”

Cashier: “It’s company policy!”

Customer: “This is racism!”

(It went around and around for a while before the guy left. The hard-headedness of this blew me away. It seems pretty obvious that you can’t just open an account in someone else’s name, because that’s a fraud risk. This guy was incapable of understanding that. I hope he eventually understands and just gets his daughter to do the work, since the account is supposed to be in her name.)

Related:
They Asked For Your ID Card, Not Your Race Card

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Heavy Metal Is Just Cool

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2017

(My husband’s best friend is an interesting character. We don’t understand how his brain works; his logic seems consistently flawed, and he’s highly hypocritical. This interaction sticks out to me as one of the most bizarre to date. Note: this takes place in the middle of summer in Arizona, and our AC has broken. My husband mentions getting a fan while waiting for it to be repaired.)

Friend: “Make sure it’s a metal fan.”

Husband: “What? Why would that make a difference?”

Friend: “Metal fans cool air as it goes through them.”

Husband: *pause* “That’s not how that works.”

(Later on, the friend comes to visit us and brings his own metal fan to prove the point. We have a plastic one by now, and the AC has been fixed. After setting up the fans and testing them by putting his hands in front of him, an argument ensues.)

Friend: “See? My metal fan is cooler!”

Me: “Or it could be that you set the metal fan up in the coolest room in the house.”

Husband: “Seriously, the fan’s material makes no difference.” *goes on to explain about BTUs, circulation, and how it’s literally impossible to make something colder just by moving the air really fast*

Friend: *refusing to listen* “Listen. My experience says metal fans are cooler.”

Husband & Me: *sigh*

(Gotta love when people push forward personal anecdotes as if they’re tested and proven science.)

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