Not How You Monopolize That Promotion

, , , , , | Right | July 12, 2019

(I’m working front counter after a certain Monopoly promotion has just ended.)

Me: “Hello, how can I help you today?”

Customer: *hands me a Monopoly piece flipped down so I can’t see what it is* “I want this.”

Me: *looks at it* “Ma’am, I’m sorry but I can’t give you Pacific Avenue.”

(I have to say, that did make my day better.)

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They Asked For Your ID Card, Not Your Race Card, Part 2

, , , , , | Right | September 28, 2018

(While waiting in line to pay a bill at the local water company, this happens in front of me.)

Customer: *an older gentleman, notably Mexican* “I want to open an account at [Location] in my daughter’s name.”

Cashier: “I’m afraid I can’t do that. I either need her to come in here to do it herself, or you need papers signed by her, including a copy of her driver’s license.”

Customer: “What? Why do I need all that?”

Cashier: “Company policy, sir.”

Customer: “You know what I think this is?”

Cashier: “What’s that, sir?”

Customer: “This is a brown-skin issue.”

Cashier: “No? That has nothing to do with it.”

Customer: “Yes, it does! This is a skin issue! I’ve been paying bills here for 40 years and never had a problem before now!”

Cashier: “Paying a bill is entirely different from opening an account; that has nothing to do with this.”

Customer: “Then explain why you’re making this so difficult!”

Cashier: “It’s company policy!”

Customer: “This is racism!”

(It went around and around for a while before the guy left. The hard-headedness of this blew me away. It seems pretty obvious that you can’t just open an account in someone else’s name, because that’s a fraud risk. This guy was incapable of understanding that. I hope he eventually understands and just gets his daughter to do the work, since the account is supposed to be in her name.)

They Asked For Your ID Card, Not Your Race Card

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Heavy Metal Is Just Cool

, , , , , , | Friendly | December 13, 2017

(My husband’s best friend is an interesting character. We don’t understand how his brain works; his logic seems consistently flawed, and he’s highly hypocritical. This interaction sticks out to me as one of the most bizarre to date. Note: this takes place in the middle of summer in Arizona, and our AC has broken. My husband mentions getting a fan while waiting for it to be repaired.)

Friend: “Make sure it’s a metal fan.”

Husband: “What? Why would that make a difference?”

Friend: “Metal fans cool air as it goes through them.”

Husband: *pause* “That’s not how that works.”

(Later on, the friend comes to visit us and brings his own metal fan to prove the point. We have a plastic one by now, and the AC has been fixed. After setting up the fans and testing them by putting his hands in front of him, an argument ensues.)

Friend: “See? My metal fan is cooler!”

Me: “Or it could be that you set the metal fan up in the coolest room in the house.”

Husband: “Seriously, the fan’s material makes no difference.” *goes on to explain about BTUs, circulation, and how it’s literally impossible to make something colder just by moving the air really fast*

Friend: *refusing to listen* “Listen. My experience says metal fans are cooler.”

Husband & Me: *sigh*

(Gotta love when people push forward personal anecdotes as if they’re tested and proven science.)

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