These Kids Are Gonna Crucify You

, , , | Learning | June 5, 2017

(I’m a Sunday School teacher for the six to eight year olds. At this particular lesson, we are learning about the Crucifixion of Christ.)

Me: “So Christ said, ‘My God, why hast thou forsaken me?’ And that means ‘Why are you ignoring me?’ He felt like God didn’t love Him anymore.”

(Later in the lesson, they are getting rowdy and not paying attention. We’ve been working on empathy and internally-motivated morality (ie. doing moral things because you want to be moral, rather than fear of punishment or adherence to rules), so I take this approach:)

Me: “Oh, dear. No one is listening to me, and that doesn’t make me feel very loved, unfortunately.”

Student: “Guys! Guys! Why are you forsaking her?!”

(They did immediately start listening again.)

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There’s Always Someone In The Family You Don’t Talk About

| Learning | February 23, 2017

(I teach Sunday school for ages 3-5 at a local church. I have just taught my class about the sign of the cross.)

Me: “…so the father is God and the son is Jesus.”

Student: “Who is the man?”

Me: “What man?”

Student: “You said it was the father, the son, the holy spirit, and a man.”

Me: *trying to hold in my laughter* “It’s Amen.”

Student: “Oh, okay… So who is it?”

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Transforming Opinion

| Friendly | March 14, 2016

(I am a girl, volunteering at a Sunday school. I’m a Transformers fan, enjoying the comics and original TV show. Two of the girls, around six years old, ask me about what I watch on TV and I mention ‘Transformers.’)

Girl #1: “But you can’t like that show!”

(They show wide-eyed horror as I explain the plot and explain how it isn’t the Michael Bay movie.)

Me: “Why?”

Girl #2: “Because you’re a girl!”

Me: “And?”

Girl #2: “And girls can’t like cars!”

Girl #1: “Yeah, cars are for boys!”

Me: “That doesn’t tell me why I can’t like the show.”

(This carried on for a few minutes until I convince them to watch the animated show that was still on tv at the time. They came in the next week saying that they enjoyed the show but I shouldn’t because I was too old to watch. I can never win.)

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This Lesson Is Beyond Engaging

| Learning | September 28, 2015

(My Catholic Sunday school teacher has been engaged since before I came into his grade, and his fiancée sometimes checks in on us. One Sunday, he walks in and does this.)

Teacher: *shows us his ring finger* “Boom. Married.”

(The whole class applauds, then he continues teaching as if nothing happened.)

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The Gentirish

| Related | June 2, 2015

(I’m teaching Sunday School at a small church — this week it’s just my niece and nephew. I’m going over the dispensations (divisions of history, such as the Jewish Age and the Church Age), and trying to see if they recall some vocabulary (“gentile” meaning anyone not a Jew.))

Me: “So, before the Jewish Age, before Abram became the first Jew, before there were any Jews… do you remember the term for people who aren’t Jews?”

Niece: “Irish?”

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