(I am a housekeeper in a hotel in my town that holds a lot of contracts with companies, meaning they get a discount price when they use us. One of our biggest contracts is with the railroad; we have rooms set aside for transport — in and out constantly because they are driving the trains — and some who are long-term that are brought in to work in the area for a long period before moving to the next location.

This involves a guy in a crew that is part of the long-term group. For the record, a lot of them have told me they don’t actually have a permanent address — that they literally live out of hotel rooms and just stay with family if they have a break between jobs.)

Coworker: “Hey, do you have room 123 on your list?”

Me: “Yes, they had their ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign up.”

Coworker: “Well, I just had a guy tell me to clean his d*** room.”

Me: “Okay, I’ll go now.”

(I head to the room, and when I get there the sign is still up and I hear people inside. I knock and identify myself as housekeeping. The guest opens the door.)

Guest: “About d*** time.”

Me: *smiling* “Hi, my coworker said you asked for service. Is there something specific you needed?”

Guest: “I need my f****** room cleaned! I have been here almost a week and no one has been doing their jobs and f****** cleaned it.”

Me: *keeping my nicest smile I can* “I am sorry about that. I noticed your ‘DO NOT DISTURB’ sign is up; may I ask how long it has been up?”

Guest: “I put it up when I got here so no one comes in when I’m f****** sleeping.”

Me: “I’m sorry for the confusion, sir, but we are not allowed to enter a room when the sign is up without permission, and as the sign indicates, we cannot disturb the person to ask for it. Technically, since it’s still up, I shouldn’t have knocked.”

Guest: “I don’t want you to disturb me when I am sleeping but I still want my room cleaned! God, you are stupid!”

Me: *still smiling* “I am sorry, sir, but we have no way of knowing that you are not sleeping unless you take it down.”

Guest: “So, you won’t come in at all unless I hunt you down like an animal and ask? That’s bulls***!”

Me: “A lot of guests do not like the idea of strangers being in their room so they keep it up at all times and ask if towels or any other items are needed.”

Another Guy In The Room: “So, that’s why you asked if he needed something specific?”

Me: “Yes, sir, most common requests are fresh towels or for us to take out the garbage.”

Guest: “Well, I want my entire room cleaned.”

Me: “Yes, sir, but in future, you will either need to take down the sign or again ask for assistance.”

Guest: “What if I forget to put it up?! I don’t want you in the room while I’m sleeping!”

Me: “We always knock first but if no response is received and we enter to find someone sleeping we leave immediately. But the door does have a deadbolt; if you lock it no one can enter, not even with our master key. If you want, you can lock your door so if your sign is not up we will knock but we can’t come in.”

Guest: “Really?”

(With the door open, I lock the deadbolt and use my key, showing him that it won’t unlock.)

Guest: “Well, the sign is only for when I am sleeping.”

(Thankfully, the other guy in the room convinced him to leave me to clean in peace. This guy had one of the dirtiest rooms I had ever cleaned. Since we are not allowed to touch guest’s stuff we have to clean around it. The bathtub had a black ring around it and there were personal hygiene products all across the sink and clothes everywhere that made vacuuming impossible, and I had to hop to get to his bed which, thankfully, didn’t have anything on it.

The worst was the kitchen. He had trash and dirty dishes across the counters as well as food and other things. Each room has recycling and two garbage cans; all were empty. We are allowed to empty the cans, but we can’t clean up since we cannot guarantee what is garbage and what isn’t.

While I was cleaning the front desk came to tell me I had transport rooms that needed to be cleaned ASAP and thankfully saw the mess, which was good because the guy actually complained that I didn’t properly clean his room. When asked, he said it was still a mess and that I didn’t do his dishes.)

Since we work with confidential material, our office is only accessible with a security pass. Which is fine… until one morning when I arrive at work and see several people waiting in front of the building. Our team leader, who always arrives first, tells us the system is apparently down, so the passes don’t work. In order to make them work again, the server has to be rebooted, but the server is inside the building. 

Of course, the company has a physical key to the building, as well. In fact, the director had passed it to the team leader for this reason. He also advised her to make copies, just in case, but she never got round to it. Now, where was this key? Well, before the team leader went on holiday, a few weeks ago, she passed it to the department manager, who would be opening those weeks. He then gave it to his manager, who asked for it in order to have copies of the key made… which he did not do. This senior manager also happens to live in a city that is about a one-hour drive from our office. To make his blunder complete, he didn’t even take the key home, but instead decided to lock it in the small safe where we have to put all the keys of our office cupboards. In other words, there is no normal way to open the door.

Finally, the department manager and his brother-in-law, who is also a coworker, arrive with a tool box and try to open several doors into the building with them. After some time, they realise this isn’t working, either. Seeing only one solution, the department manager takes his hammer and smashes the man-high window next to the front door, after which he carefully enters, shuts off the alarm, and opens the front door manually. In order to get to our department, the two men have to force another door open, this time without breaking anything, but still…

When I see the senior manager a few hours later, he is trying to laugh it off as “a little mistake.” I have always seen him as a typical “David Brent” style manager, who prefers being funny over being professional, while not being really funny, either. By now, I feel sure about this more than ever.

(I am working the overnight shift at a hotel. At shift change, my coworker warns me that a guy was in earlier today and was so drunk that he could barely stand. Lots happened, but eventually, the police were called and he was taken away. The cops said he would probably be back to pick up his things once he sobered up, probably about six hours later, which would put him squarely in my shift. My shift goes well to start, and then, around 1:30 am, a guy comes in.)

Me: “Good evening. What can I do for you tonight?”

Guest: “I need to check in.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a reservation?” 

(All of the reservations for the previous day are in, so I want to make sure he’s at the right hotel.)

Guest: “No, I need to make a reservation and check-in.”

Me: “No problem.”

(We go through the normal questions — how long are you staying, what type of room, etc. As I get his info, I realize that this is the same guest I was warned about, who technically still has a room but has not paid for his stay tonight. He has also smoked in his room, which means I can’t use his deposit to pay for tonight’s stay as it will be used to cover the smoking charge.)

Me: “Okay, it looks like your previous reservation was extended, but I do need payment for tonight still.”

Guest: “Oh, okay.” *pulls out his wallet and starts looking through it* “Oh, man, I’m going to have to pay with my card.”

Me: “That’s not a problem; we take credit cards here.”

(I’m thinking to myself, “Great, I’ll have a card and won’t have to worry about any other potential damages.”)

Guest: *spends a minute fumbling with his wallet* “Sorry about that. Here you go.” *hands me his driver’s license*

Me: “This is a driver’s license. I need a credit card.”

Guest: “Oh, this is my only card. Can I use my credit card?”

Me: “Yes, I can take a credit card.”

Guest: *hands me his driver’s license*

Me: “This is a driver’s license, not a credit card.”

Guest: “Oh, sorry. I’ll have to use my credit card to pay. Is that okay?”

Me: “Yes.”

Guest: *hands me his driver’s license again*

Me: “Sir, this is not a credit card. I can’t take this.”

Guest: “Can you try it?”

Me: “There’s no chip or mag stripe for me to run through the machine. It isn’t tied to any financial institution or bank account; there is no way for me to take payment from a driver’s license. If you left your card in your room I can escort you down to get it so you can pay.”

Guest: “That would be great! You’re a lifesaver.”

(I escort the guest down to his room and I wait just inside the room with the door open while he goes to look for his card. He spends about fifteen minutes looking and eventually, I have to return to the desk to help another guest. I tell the guy I’ll be back in thirty minutes to get payment or he will have to gather his belongings and leave. About ten minutes later, the guest returns to the desk.)

Guest: “Found it!”

Me: “Perfect! Let’s get you taken care of.”

(I go to run the card, and I realize it’s a Visa Debit, which I have to run differently than a regular credit card. I fix the mistake and pass the terminal to the guest.)

Guest: *starts typing in PIN*

Me: “Wait, you can’t do your PIN yet; you need to follow the prompts on screen.”

(The guest finished and, surprise, surprise, his card was declined. He went back to his room to transfer funds to his account. Hopefully, he comes back and his card works, because I dread having to call the cops on him again.)

(As I am processing purchase invoices, I come across one from an unfamiliar supplier. Upon closer inspection. I notice that I have only been given page three of three and the delivery address is to a business farther down the road. Normally, I would pop it into an envelope and deliver it myself or give it back to the postman. However, as I only have page three, I think it will be best to request that the supplier resend their invoice. I call the company at approximately 17:05.)

Automated Message: “As our offices are closed, you will be redirected to our messaging service.”

(I wait for the beep so I can leave my message but a person answers the phone, instead.)

Person: “Hello. How can I help you?”

Me: “Hello, my name is [My Name] and I’m calling from [Company]. The postman has delivered an invoice to us by mistake and, as I only have page three, I can’t forward this on. Would you please resend invoice [number]?”

Person: “Sorry, but we are just a messaging service for [Supplier].”

(My mistake. I thought because it was so close to normal closing hours, maybe someone had picked it up rather than letting it go through to voicemail.)

Me: “Okay. Would you please ask them to resend invoice [number], as it has been delivered to the wrong address?”

Person: “No, we are just a messaging service for [Supplier].”

Me: “Could you please pass the message that they need to resend invoice [number]?”

Person: “No. We cannot do this. You have not come through to [Supplier]. We are just a company that they hire to take messages out-of-hours.”

Me: “Yes. I understand that. You do not work for [Supplier]; you work for a messaging company but you don’t seem to want to take my message.”

Person: “Well, we just need your name and number and then they can call you back in the morning.”

Me: “I see. That’s fine. My name is [My Name] and I work for [Company]. My direct dial is [phone number].”

Person: “Okay, that’s [repeats info back to me].”

Me: “That’s correct.”

Person: “And do you have a message you’d like me to pass on?”

My dad needed to get his physical done and went to our family doctor. The doctor’s office was located in a sort of strip mall setup along with other private practitioners and specialists. This building was, in turn, located directly adjacent to the actual local hospital, even sharing the same parking lot.

As part of the physical, my dad was getting blood drawn but the nurse had difficulty getting their needle into his veins, meaning he had a needle probing in his body much longer than usual. Eventually, his body decided enough was enough and he seized.

Worried for his health, they quickly loaded my dad onto a gurney and wheeled him across the parking lot to the ER where he was quickly diagnosed as being fine. After he recovered, the blood draw was rescheduled and he headed home.

Fast forward a few weeks: a bill from the hospital arrived. Since he’d gone to the ER, my dad was expecting a high price, but this proved to be even more than expected by several hundred dollars.

Looking through the itemized bill, it was mostly the expected expenses: ER visit, fluids, etc. What stuck out was the several-hundred-dollar ambulance service my dad apparently got from being wheeled across the parking lot on a gurney.

He fought the bill, saying he might have paid if they’d at least put him in an ambulance and let him turn on the siren.