Due To Subsidence, It’s Now In The Basement…

, , , , | Right | October 22, 2020

I’m walking past the main entrance of a multi-level store, and I hear a customer drop this gem.

Customer: *To an employee* “Excuse me. Is your third floor upstairs?”

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Something, Something, Caller

, , , , , | Right | October 21, 2020

Me: “[Business], this is [My Name].”

Caller: “Uh, yeah… I got a call from—” *garbled*

Me: “I’m sorry, who did you say you got a call from?”

Caller: *Silence*

Me: *Five seconds later* “Who was that you had a call from?”

Caller: “Oh… uh… I had a call from this number here.”

Me: “Okay. May I ask your name and what this call is regarding?”

Caller: “I had a call from this number. I’m returning the call.”

Me: “Yes, I just need your name so I can find out who called you.”

Caller: “They called me.”

Me: “I know. There are several people here who could have called and the number would have shown up as the same for each of them. This is the front desk.”

Caller: “But they left a message saying to call them back. I’m calling them back.”

Me: “They didn’t leave a name?”

This is odd, because we’re taught phone etiquette, and part of that is to always leave your name and the reason for your call.

Caller: “No, they just said call back.”

Me: “Okay, do you have a family member who lives here? Have you applied for a job here?”

Caller: “I don’t know.”

Me: *Loses all hope* “Okay, let me see if I can find out who called you.”

I put him on hold and called around to see if anyone called… someone… about something. God, I hate Mondays.

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Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 19

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2020

I work at a popular gas station chain along the east coast, and we have many regulars at my store. This happens with one whom we’ve never had issues with. He orders a drink, and since we are slow, I make it and keep it behind the counter since it isn’t paid for yet. I notice a customer lurking around the counter, so I call out the order number and say it’s waiting on payment.

Customer: “Oh, this needs to be paid for before I can take it?”

I know he knows how our system works.

Me: “Yes, sir, I can’t give it to you yet.”

He nods his head really sarcastically.

Customer: “Yeah? Okay then, no need to be an a**hole about it.”

He stormed off to pay and ended up telling my coworker at the register that I had a “f****** issue” and never paid. My manager was present the whole time so I never got in trouble. It was still one of my more interesting days.

Related:
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 18
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 17
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 16
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 15
Doesn’t Understand The Custom Part Of Customer, Part 14

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Alternative Fats

, , , , | Right | October 21, 2020

I’m a personal shopper. I have been doing this job for nearly three years. When people place their orders online, I download it onto a handheld and I have to scan every item on their list. The handheld will not let me scan barcodes that are not on their list, nor can I just add random products to their order. Customers often blame us for their mistakes, but this one takes the cake. I’m putting away an order when a customer comes up to me.

Customer: “Excuse me?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “My name is [Customer] and I had an online order earlier today and you people messed it up. It was only minor things, but you still messed it up. And now I have to come back here and fix it.”

I know I was the one who shopped this order and I didn’t mess it up.

Me: “What was wrong with the order?”

Customer: “First of all, you gave me unfrosted pop tarts when I ordered frosted pop tarts. And you also gave me fat-free chicken broth when I ordered regular chicken broth.”

Me: “Ma’am, I’m the one who shopped your order. You ordered unfrosted pop tarts, so that’s what I gave you. As for the broth, I know chicken broth can come in low salt and salt-free versions, but it’s naturally a fat-free product.”

The customer pulls the chicken broth out of the bag.

Customer: “No, you gave me fat-free and I wanted regular!”

Me: “That is the regular chicken broth. This is what you ordered. I have to scan in every item on your list, and both the broth and the pop tarts scanned.”

Customer: “They’re wrong!”

Me: “If you want, we can exchange the pop tarts for frosted ones easily. I’ll have to talk to my manager about the broth, though.”

Customer: “Fine.”

The customer storms inside to grab what she wants. I run to the customer service desk and give the CSM a heads up as to what’s coming. I also print out the order to show that I gave this customer exactly what she ordered. I hide close enough to overhear the CSM and customer talking.

Customer: “Hi. One of your shoppers messed up my order.”

The customer puts the “wrong” items on the desk along with the “correct” items.

CSM: “Yes, she told me what’s going on. She also printed out your order.”

Customer: “So you know she messed up. She gave me unfrosted pop tarts and fat-free chicken broth.”

CSM: “Actually, she didn’t. If you look here, these are the pop tarts you ordered. It says ‘unfrosted’ right there. That’s what she gave you.”

Customer: “Oh… It must’ve been the computer, then, because I would never order that. Who in their right mind would order unfrosted pop tarts?”

CSM: “Now, as for the chicken broth, again, she gave you what you ordered. This is the UPC here, and it matches the UPC on the container here.”

Customer: “But it’s fat-free! I meant to order this!”

She shoves some name-brand chicken broth at her.

CSM: “Okay, but this is also fat-free.”

The CSM points to where it says, ‘Fat-free on the package.

Customer: “It’s a different type of fat-free.”

CSM: “If you want to exchange the pop tarts, that’s fine. However, because you ordered the store-brand chicken broth, there will be a charge for this.”

Customer: “Okay.”

The customer paid and left. My CSM and I were left wondering what she meant by “different type of fat-free.”

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She’d Like Those Extra Crisps

, , , | Right | October 21, 2020

I approach a table to take their order.

Me: “What can I get for you?”

Customer: *Looking at the menu* “Do your fish and chips come with fries?’

Me: “Um…”

Customer’s Companion: “Wow! Really?!”

Customer: “What? It’s an honest question.”

Me: “Yes. Yes, it does. Unless you’d like a bag of Doritos?”

Customer: *Excitedly* “Oh, can I?” 

Customer’s Companion: “Dude, she’s joking. ‘Chips’ are fries.”

Customer: “Really?”

Me & Companion: *In unison* “Yes”

Customer: *Turns red*

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