I am taking information from a customer. For our services, we need to set up some security questions.

Me: “What country were you born in?”

Customer: “Texas.”

Me: “That’s not a country.”

Customer: “Well, it should be.”

In the couple of months that I have worked at this hotel’s front desk, I have gotten really annoyed by guests who expect us to just know everything and think that we have nothing else to do besides cater to them and only them.

One thing that keeps happening: people ordering food without telling the delivery guy their room number and just leaving their first name as contact information. Most often, these people are not even the ones who are registered as the booker, so we would not be able to find them in the system anyway, even if they had a very recognisable name.

One time, a guest came to the desk to scream at me.

Guest: “Why didn’t you tell me that my pizza got here three hours ago?! Now it’s cold! You should’ve just looked up ‘Mike’ in the system to tell me that it was here!”

Mike. Yep, totally not a common name worldwide or anything. We have 350 rooms; you are probably not the only Mike staying here.

How is your lack of common sense my problem? I’m so done with stupid and aggressive people.

I work in a furniture store, and I also take customer calls.

Caller: “Hi. You sold us a bed four years ago.”

Me: “Oh, that’s good.”

Caller: “We’re moving house.”

There’s a pause.

Me: “Okay?”

Caller: “Well?”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what you’re asking me, sir.”

Caller: “We bought the bed from you, and we’re moving!”

Me: “I still don’t understand.”

Caller: “You need to move the bed to our new place!”

Me: “You want to order a bed for your new place?”

Caller: “No! Listen! You need to move the bed you already sold to us to our new place!”

Me: “The same bed we sold to you four years ago?”

Caller: “Finally, she gets it!”

Me: “That’s not a service we provide. Once we’ve delivered the bed, it’s your responsibility where it goes.”

Caller: “You said you offered free delivery!”

Me: “When you buy the bed the first time. We don’t have a responsibility to move it for you every time you move after that first delivery.”

Caller: “Well, that’s terrible customer service!”

Me: “With all due respect, you stopped being our customer after you bought the bed and the warranty ended.”

There’s another pause.

Caller: “What if I offered you fifty bucks?” 

Me: “Goodbye, sir.” *Click*

I used to work at a fast food chain, and because I had decent customer service skills, I would usually be placed in the drive-thru taking orders.

It was the day before Thanksgiving, and the ordering manager had deliberately shorted the store on orders for the week to account for the fact that we would be closed on Thanksgiving. We would get a truck on Friday to restock.

However, the manager hadn’t accounted for Thanksgiving gluttony starting early. We ran out of fries a few hours into my shift. Cue repeats of this exchange for the next several hours.

Customer: “I’d like a large [combo] with a large fry….”

Me: “I’m so sorry, we’re out of fries for the day.”

This was usually followed by many choice swearwords from the customers followed by screeching tires.

I had never been so glad to close the store as I was that day.

A few Thanksgivings ago, my cousin was complaining that she had sold something on eBay but had not yet received the actual payment from the customer, who lived in Turkey. My cousin mentioned sending the customer an email that very morning and then expressed frustration when the customer failed to respond.

Mother: “Well, duh. It’s Thanksgiving. You won’t get an email until tomorrow.”

Me: “Mom, Thanksgiving is an American holiday. They don’t celebrate it in Turkey.”

My mother refused to believe me, and to this day, she still thinks the entire world celebrates Thanksgiving.