A popular local brewery has a deal with a nearby restaurant in which people who take the brewery tour can go to the restaurant after and receive a discount on their meal.

The tour includes beer samples, so by the time my group arrives at the restaurant, we are already buzzed, and we order another round of beers for the table. I am a bit tipsy when I order my burger.

Server: “What kind of roll would you like?”

Me: “I don’t need a roll.”

I am picturing a dinner roll on the side, like at Thanksgiving, and I figure the burger bun will be enough bread.

Server: “So, you really don’t want a roll?”

Me: *Insistent* “I don’t want one.”

Server: “Okaaaay…”

When my burger comes, it’s just the patty and fixings, and that is when I realize that when she said “roll” she was referring to the bun. I might have realized that if I had been sober.

I go to find my server, and before I say a word, she kindly asks:

Server: “Do you want a roll?”

Me: *Sheepish* “Yes, please.”

Given how many intoxicated patrons she surely served, I hope I was at least a funny one.

Client: “It has been nine weeks and I haven’t received anything from you. Nothing! Where is the work I hired you to do?”

Me: “Your deposit invoice has been sitting unpaid for nine weeks. It’s in the contract that I don’t send anything until the deposit is paid.”

Client: “Oh, I saw that and just mailed you a check.”

Me: “I never gave you my mailing address.”

Client: “Oh, I just sent it to the guy at your office who did it last time.”

Me: “I’m a freelancer. I work for myself. I think you mailed my check to my competitor.”

Client: “Well, they cashed it!”

A woman comes up to my register.

Customer: “What is the price of this protein bar?”

Every item in the store has a physical price tag because we don’t have scanners at the register. I take it from her and flip it over.

Me: “It’s $2.49 before tax.”

Customer: “But how much would the case be?”

Normally, we do discounts for cases, but they have to be ordered ahead of time, so I start explaining.

Me: “We can’t do a discount unless—”

Customer: *Cutting me off aggressively* “I didn’t ask for a discount!”

I type in $2.49 times twelve, add tax, and tell her the final price. She stares me down for a few seconds.

Customer: “Get your manager.”

Once my manager arrived, she spent literally ten minutes tearing into me, describing me as the least helpful person ever, talking about my bad attitude, complaining about how awful and rude I was, etc.

I was working nearly full time (35.5 hours per week) and commuting to a school over an hour away four days a week. This lady took the time out of her day to break me down to the point I started crying. Thanks, lady, I still remember you. I hope you enjoyed your friggin’ protein bars.

There’s a member of our team who doesn’t seem to be entirely present, [Coworker #1]. Airheaded is an understatement, but nearly everyone finds her funny, so she gets humoured, though I doubt she realises that. I’m one of the few who don’t have patience for her, so I just try to cut her a wide berth and interact with her as minimally as possible but at least politely.

I’m busy with [Coworker #2] when I realise [Coworker #1] is nearby behind me, constantly repeating the same word. However, I’m in the middle of something, so I opt to leave her to it. After a minute of this, I zone out of my conversation to try and figure out what she’s on about, so I can make her go away.

I realize the word she’s been repeating is a name that’s similar to mine but isn’t mine.

Oh. I think she’s been trying to get my attention. Just as I turn around, though, three others turn to her, and, all in the tone of an impatient adult dealing with a child…

Coworkers #3, #4, & #5: “[MYYY NAAME]!”

Coworker #1: “Who?”

I won’t lie, I had to bite my lip as I approached her so as not to laugh. It was a relief of sorts, to see that she gets on the nerves of others; it wasn’t just me.

Even though I am a teenager, I am managing the branch of the fast food place I work at. I take a call from an older lady.

Caller: “I was in there earlier and I left my card in one of the machines.”

Me: “Yes, ma’am. We did find a card.”

Caller: “You need to drive it out to me. You’ve ruined my night by keeping my card. You’ve ruined my family’s night.”

Me: “I can’t bring it out to you, but we can offer you a free meal when you collect it.”

Caller: “I’ll be making a formal complaint!”

She showed up forty-five minutes later with steam blowing out her ears asking for her card back. That was the last we heard from her.