That Was A Close-Knit Call

, , , , , | Right | February 26, 2021

I’m the idiot in this story. My friend and I visit London shortly after some attacks. One of the museums we visit has set up security checks. There are two security officers, so my friend and I hand over our handbags.

Security #1: “Good morning. Anything sharp?”

Me: “No.”

Security #1: *To his colleague* “Careful, this one has knitting.”

It dawns on me that knitting needles are considered sharp objects and grin sheepishly.

Security #2: “This one, too, but she told me.”

Security #1: “Any scissors?”

Me: “Yes, in my fanny pack.”

I’m searching but I’m already nervous about the needles mixup and I cannot find them.

Me: “Yes, well, I seem to have trouble finding them, but they are air carrier safe with a less than 2.5-inch blade and dull points.”

The officer just sighed and let me go through. I later noticed that in my recently added manicure set, there was a pair of scissors with sharp points. I’m since then much more aware of what I carry in my purse! If only because blood is so difficult to clean out of wool.

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Knows Zip About Zip Codes, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 26, 2021

The company I work for has been able to take credit card payments by phone for as far back as I can remember. Starting about two weeks ago, we suddenly started having the following conversation with multiple customers.

Me: “And what is the billing address of the credit card?”

The customer provides a five-digit number and then stops. I repeat the number back.

Me: “Is that the street number? And what’s the street name?”

Customer: “That’s the zip code.”

One customer goes one step further.

Me: “And what is the billing address of the credit card?”

Customer: “The full address or the zip code?”

Me: “The full address, please.”

He provided a five-digit number and then stopped.


Knows Zip About Zip Codes

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Wary Of The Warehouse

, , , , , | Right | February 26, 2021

The company I work for has five warehouses in five different states. While the overwhelming majority of orders ship around the world, each warehouse also has a will-call where local customers can pick up their orders.

I work in the call center where we often get calls asking for directions. The caller ID and area code will usually tip off which location I have to give directions to, but not every phone number will show up.

Caller: “I’m having trouble finding your will call. Can you help me?”

Me: “Sure. Let me just confirm which warehouse you’re trying to reach.”

Caller: “The warehouse with the will call.”

Me: “Yes, each of our warehouses has a will call. Which state are you in?”

Caller: “I’m by the glass doors.”

Me: “We have five different locations in five different states, and I need to know which one you’re trying to reach.”

Caller: “I see a lot of trucks.”

If anyone can tell me how I can possibly be clearer or more straightforward, please let me know!

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Not Properly Monitoring The Situation, Part 2

, , , | Right | February 25, 2021

I’m working as an IT specialist for a medium-sized company. We receive new computer monitors and I’m swapping out any that are too old or mismatched.

Me: “I’m here to swap out your monitors.”

Agent: “Okay. Wait a second. Give me a minute to transfer my pictures.”

Me: “Um… your pictures will still be there once I’m finished.”

Agent: “How do you know what pictures I want saved?”

Me: “Because the pictures that display on your monitor are saved on your computer.”

Agent: *Facepalms* “Please don’t tell anyone how dumb I am.”

Me: “No promises.”

Not Properly Monitoring The Situation

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They’re Outing Their Minds

, , , , | Right | February 25, 2021

I am working the front desk at an assisted living facility when two family members come up to look at the outing lists I have posted on the side of the desk.

Woman: “So… this outing today to [Mexican Restaurant]. Can she go on this?”

Me: “It looks like there’s enough space left! You’re welcome to sign her up.”

Woman: “But… then there’s this bus ride to tour [Local University Campus], too. How can she go to both?”

Man: “Yeah, that might be too much for her.”

Me: “Well, they’re both on different days.”

He points at dates in bold on the two sheets.

Man: “This one for the restaurant is for today and this one is for next week.”

Woman: “But if she goes to this one—”

She points to today’s outing.

Woman: “—at 11:30 and then the other at 1:00, she’ll have a really busy day and might get over-tired.”

The man is nodding along.

Me: “But… they’re not on the same day, so that wouldn’t be a problem. The restaurant outings usually take about two hours, sometimes two and a half or three with driving time. The bus tour takes around an hour. And our staff will always bring residents back who aren’t feeling up to it anymore.”

The woman nods while staring back and forth at both sheets.

Woman: “Okay… I’m just worried that two outings in one day might be pushing it.”

I am looking back and forth between the two.

Me: “They’re on separate days. This one is for today—” *points to it* “—and this one—” *points to it* “—is for next week. We only ever do one outing on a day.”

Woman: “I’m not sure… That’s quite a few hours out of the community in one day.”

Me: *Inner sigh* “Here.”

I pull out the calendar and point to today.

Me: “This is today. Today is the outing to [Mexican Restaurant].”

I slide my finger through the rest of the week and on to next Friday.

Me: “And here is the outing to [Bus Tour], a week from today. Each outing is a week apart, on different Fridays.”

Woman: “Hmm…”

Man: “But if she gets too tired doing two outings today, she can come back early?”

Me: *Giving up* “Yes, they will bring her back early if she gets too tired.”

Woman: “Okay, let’s sign her up for both of today’s outings, then.”

They signed the resident up for both of “today’s” outings and left. I have no idea where their brains were. Seriously, how else could I have explained it?! People have real issues paying attention.

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