Can They Haggle? No Or No?

, , , , | Right | September 23, 2020

A customer calls and asks for a quote on a new trailer. I tell him the MSRP is $6,000.00 as advertised on our website. I then take his information down for possible follow-up. Several days later, he walks in with his twelve- or thirteen-year-old son, gives his name, and says he has been negotiating with me about a trailer and has an offer for me. I come up to him and he pulls out a roll of hundred dollar bills.

Customer: “I’m [Customer]; we talked on the phone earlier. Now I know how this works; I know every trick in the book. Here is the way this is going to go, and I don’t want anything from you but yes or no. I will give you $7,500.00 cash right now for the [specific trailer] on your lot. I won’t haggle, just a yes or no. You either take it or I’m walking out of here. If you need to check with your boss, you go right ahead.”

Me: “Can you give me just a moment?”

I go to get the paperwork for the trailer and compose myself. When I come back…

Customer: “Yes or no. I don’t want to hear you say anything else. I will not negotiate with you. I’ll just turn around and walk out of here, right now.”

Me: “Yes, sir, I believe I will have to make that work.”

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In A Name Jam(ie)

, , , , | Right | September 22, 2020

This is how my morning begins.

Customer: “I got this the other day and they told me that I need to come back today to return this.”

Me: “Right. So, what are you returning, again?”

Customer: “I returned the phone already.”

Me: “Pardon, but I don’t think I’m understanding what you need.”

Customer: “The case! I need to return the case.”

Me: “All right. Do you have a receipt?”

Customer: “No.”

Me: “Okay, what’s the phone number associated with the account?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “All right. What’s the name associated with the account?”

Customer: “My name.”

Me: “So, what’s that?”

Customer: “[Jay][Mee] [Last Name].”

Me: “Mind spelling your first name, please?”

Customer: “J-I-A-M-E.”

Me: “Sorry, that’s not coming up.”

Customer: “J-A-M-E.”

Me: “What? Can I just see your ID?”

The customer handed me an ID, and it clearly stated “J-A-I-M-E.” I’ll never be getting those brain cells back. How is it that people cannot spell their own names?

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, , , | Right | September 22, 2020

I work in a gelato store. Many people ask what gelato is, but not usually like this. Two teenage girls walk in and look at the gelato.

Me: “Hello! Would you like to try some gelato?”

Girl #1: “No.”

I see they are looking at it like they want some.

Me: “I can give you a sample if you’d like.”

Girl #1: “What is this stuff?”

Me: “It’s gelato. Italian ice cream. Would you like to try it?”

Girl #1: “Oh, no, thanks.”

She keeps looking at it.

Girl #1: “Can I try the [flavor]?”

She tries.

Girl #1: “Is this ice cream?”

Me: “Yes, Italian ice cream. It’s called gelato.”

Girl #1: “Oh, I don’t want gelato.”

She then proceeded to buy some.

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So A Turkey Is Made Of…?

, , , | Right | September 22, 2020

Me: “Hi, welcome to [Fast Food Place]! How may I help you?”

Girl: “Hi, can I get a turkey cheddar bacon without the bacon?”

Me: “Sure. Anything else today?”

Girl: “No, but can you make sure there is no bacon on the turkey cheddar bacon? I’m a vegetarian.”

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Their Vegan Knowledge Is A Bit Sloppy, Part 2

, , , , | Working | September 22, 2020

Me: “Excuse me, do you sell any vegan cosmetics or toiletries?”

Employee #1: “Any what?”

Me: “Vegan products?”

Employee #1: “Um… I’ll go and ask.”

She approaches [Employee #2] and [Employee #3], unaware that I’ve followed her.

Employee #1: “This lady wants to know if we sell vee-gen stuff?”

Employee #2: “What’s vegan?”

Employee #3: “Isn’t it where you don’t eat animals and fish and stuff?”

Employee #1: “I have no idea. I didn’t know what she was talking about.”

Me: “I was talking about vegan-approved toiletries and cosmetics. I’ve been given a voucher for Christmas and I don’t buy anything animal-tested.”

Employee #1: “Well, you could have said you just wanted non-animal-tested products; we have No7 products right here and they’ve not tested for twenty years now.”

Me: “And none of their ingredients are tested, either?”

Employee #3: *Raises eyebrows* “I’m sorry, but do you even know what veganism is?”

Me: “Yes. Do you?”

Employee #3: *Complacently* “It’s when you don’t consume animals, fish, or dairy. This isn’t a grocery store, so I don’t know where cosmetics and toiletries even come into this.”

Me: “Actually, veganism is a lifestyle choice that involves not exploiting animals in any way. This means you don’t eat them, eat anything derived from them, use them for entertainment, wear them, or use anything that’s been tested on them.”

Employee #2: *Nervously* “Oh… okay.”

Employee #3: “Okay, then. Tell me, where does one buy these ‘vegan’ products? What brands can you name that are ‘vegan’?”

Employee #2: *Genuinely* “Yes, what brands are vegan?”

Me: “Have you ever heard of the leaping bunny?”

The employees stay silent.

Me: “What about PETA?”

The employees stay silent again.

Me: *Sigh* “Well, anything with a picture of a little white bunny leaping in the air means it’s vegan, but in terms of actual brands: Lush, Beauty Without Cruelty, JĀSÖN Natural, etc.”

Employee #2: “I’m so sorry, but I don’t think we do any of that here.”

Employee #3: “I’ll give you Lush, but I’ve never even heard of the other two!”

Me: “Well, it’s what I normally buy, so…”

Employee #3: “Look, we do cosmetics that haven’t been tested on animals, but they still contain… like… animal fat or whatever it is.” *Laughs*

Me: “Forget it. I’ll spend my voucher on nuts and fruit.”

Their Vegan Knowledge Is A Bit Sloppy

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