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This Scam Is Forever £21

, , , , , , | Right | May 25, 2022

A week ago, we were told of a scam call that one of my colleagues received. Someone claimed to have made an erroneous payment of £21 on our website and wanted a refund… but we don’t take online payments on our website!

Me: “[Vet Practice], [My Name], how can I help?”

Scammer: “Hey, pal, we made a mistake on your website and we’ve paid some money to your account. £21.”

Me: *Dripping with sarcasm* “Did you now?! Really?! Oh, my gosh!”

Scammer: “Yeah, right, and basically, you’ve not receive—” *Corrects himself* “I’VE not received payment back of yous and I’d like to know why.”

Me: “Oh, really! So you registered online with us and paid an amount of £200…”

Scammer: “No! No… No… £21 I paid.”

Me: “Oh, £21? And did you phone about this earlier already?”

Scammer: “No.”

Me: “No, really? Because we had the exact same thing happen the other day! It is such a coincidence, isn’t it?!”

Scammer: “It is!”

Me: “What is your postcode?”

Scammer: *Clearly making one up on the spot* “[Manchester area, 350km from us].”

Me: “It might be worth it, if you want to run a scam, to you look in your area because we are in London!”

Scammer: *Pauses* “I know you are in London.”

Me: “So, why would you want to register with us while you are in Manchester?”

Scammer: *Pauses* “Well, that’s the thing, that’s what I can’t understand. We paid £21 via Paypal to yous.”

Me: “That’s another funny thing. Our website is not set up to take payments via Paypal, so that is also not possible.”

Scammer: *Scrambling for words* “Er… er… ehm… it was for registering a microchip! That was what it was!” *Pauses*

Me: “Funny that! That’s not something clients do. That is something we do for clients, so that is also not possible!”

Scammer: “Right… so you… your website has been scammed, then.”

Me: “No, no, our website is fine.”

Scammer: “Er… erm…” *Cheerily* “No worries! I will go to the bank, then, and chase it.”

Me: “I think that is your best option, too. Good luck!”

Scammer: *As if we’ve just had the most normal conversation* “Thank you very much, pal! Bye!”

It’s Not Rocket Sales, People

, , , , | Right | May 25, 2022

I work in a call center for a store. The store is running a promotion on a particular product. It’s resulted in some stupid questions.

Caller #1: “If [bottled item] is buy-one-get-one-free, how many do I have to buy to get a free bottle?”

And:

Caller #2: “If this is two for $10, how much money is four bottles?”

When I explained on multiple phone calls that the promotion makes it $5 each, they would ask if I was sure, and then they would check their calculators and state that they were impressed with my math.

“We’re The Piraaates Who Don’t Do Anythiiiing…”

, , , , , , , | Working | May 24, 2022

Back in the early days of office computer networks, I was put in charge of setting up and maintaining the network for the law firm I worked at. The partner attorney who oversaw all this was really something!

First, the firm’s entire reason for upgrading to networked computers was so that the firm would have an inter-office email system. But Mr. Partner decided that it would cost too much to buy thirty-five individual versions of the software and bought only ONE stand-alone version and had me install that one install disk on all thirty-five computers, using the same code every time. Thus, email wasn’t possible because stand-alone software didn’t include it.

After some investigation, I did find a way to do short “instant messages” from one person to another and set up a short macro for everyone to make that easier. Mr. Partner was heard proudly referring to that as “our email system.”

He followed that up by ordering me to call a friend in a nearby firm to ask if we could “borrow” their install disks for a spreadsheet program. Not surprisingly, that request was denied.

Then, he attended a conference at the local Bar Association on the subject of computer piracy and came to me afterward.

Partner: “Have you heard about computer piracy? It’s really terrible!”

Me: “Yes, I have heard of it. We do it all the time. If we did it any more, I’d have to have a patch on my eye and a parrot on my shoulder!”

The following year, they opted to do an actual legit upgrade to have real email and licensed software on each PC, all while Mr. Partner kept shaking his head saying he really didn’t see why we needed to go to that expense!

This Is Worse Than The “Ice Cubes Made From Coffee” Customer

, , , | Right | CREDIT: Fleur498 | May 24, 2022

I work part-time as a barista at a coffee shop. Today at work, a woman ordered an iced coffee. I heard her tell the cashier that she wanted an iced coffee, and the cashier entered an iced coffee into the register. I don’t think there was a language barrier because the customer spoke English fluently.

When the customer received her iced coffee, she complained to the manager.

Customer: “Why is my iced coffee cold, and why does it have ice? When I ordered the iced coffee, I expected to receive a hot coffee with no ice. Can you remake it?”

She ordered “Vietnamese-styled iced coffee” from the “cold drinks” section of the menu. The drink has ice and has zero warm liquid in our shop, and the menu states how it’s prepared.

I don’t understand how these people function in society. I wonder what she thought an “iced coffee” was. The coffee shop offers plenty of hot drinks if she just wanted to order one of those.

Yikes All Around

, , , , , , | Related Working | May 24, 2022

When I was fourteen, I went into our local, very small-town gas station with my dad. He was buying beer.

Cashier: “Do you have any ID?”

Dad: “I have three kids.”

He said it like that was a valid form of ID. Apparently, to the cashier, it was, because she looked at me and said:

Cashier: “Are they yours, too?”