I worked for a point-of-sale company. One weekend, when I was on call and drinking at the bar across the street, I got a call from a manager from a chain full of not bright people, and to compound that, most of them weren’t even remotely nice, insulting us tech guys every call like they forgot they were twice my age managing a Denny’s knock-off.
So, the guy called and said:
Caller: “A screen on one of my POS terminals isn’t very responsive.”
Me: “Is it dirty?”
Caller: “No.”
Me: “Okay, let’s calibrate it.”
These people were using Windows XP in 2017; that should tell you the condition of the equipment. I walk him through how to calibrate it. Nope, still barely responsive.
Caller: “I’m pressing it, but there’s stuff caked all over the screen.”
Contrary to it not being dirty earlier. POS screens are nasty, considering the environment they’re in.
Me: “Wipe it down with a damp towel.”
Caller: “Won’t it damage it?”
Me: “Nah, Posiflex terminals have water-resistant screens. At the trade shows, they’ll sometimes have water dripping on the screen to demonstrate that. Screen cleaner would be best, but a damp towel will work.”
Caller: “Okay.”
He hangs up. Twenty minutes later, I get another call, him yelling and swearing about how it’s not working at all, not turning on.
I head over to my apartment and hop on TeamViewer. I can’t see it on the network, and I start the whole tracing the power cable routine.
Caller: “I put it through the dishwasher, and it just stopped working!”
I said verbatim:
Me: “You ran a computer through a f****** dishwasher?”
When I relayed this to my boss the next Monday, he didn’t even care because it was so stupid. Swearing at customers isn’t professional or okay, but this one was kind of explainable.
Caller: “You said it was water resistant!”
Me: “I said wipe the screen down! Water resistant is NOT the same as waterproof, dude. I mean…”
Caller: “Well, I need a new terminal now, so send someone. We are packed and can’t go without it.”
A quick check of his sales report and table seating chart determined that it was a lie; they were dead and had been all day.
I told him even if I left right then, going to the office, imaging a new terminal and driving the two hours to get to the site would put me there well after they close, and the other three terminals they had should work just fine, especially when the time clock showed just two servers on.
Caller: “Well, it’s under warranty, right?”
Me: “No, if it has Windows XP its well out of warranty at this point, plus your corporate office has to okay all equipment purchases.”
I told him this, rather than cause further chaos by telling him that doing something that freaking stupid voids warranties. After a few moments of awkward silence…
Caller: “You better stay out of xyzville!” *A smaller town that I would never ever go to on my own free will anyway.*
He hung up, and I went back to the bar and kept drinking.
