(A coworker is bagging groceries as I ring them up)

Customer: *to my coworker* “Wait! Don’t pack them like that! Honestly, it’s as if no one understands how to pack bags anymore!”

Coworker: *looking down at a loaf of bread on top of some grapefruits in a paper bag* “How do you want them packed?”

Customer: “Clearly the bread needs to go on the bottom! I don’t want the grapefruits to get damaged; they’re fragile!”

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Customer: *looking at batteries* “My friend asked me to pick her up some D batteries, but I’m not sure which ones to get.”

(Customer holds up a package with 10 D batteries in it and a package with 12 D batteries in it.)

Customer: “What’s the difference between 10D and 12D? I don’t want to get the wrong ones.”

Little Boy: “What are those?”

Zookeeper: “That’s a Cavy.”

(Cavies are another name for guinea pigs.)

Little Boy’s Father: “No, they’re not. They’re Jack-a-lopes. But I don’t see any antlers, so they must all be does.”

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Customer: *in the frozen food aisle* “Do you have ice cream?”

(I worked at this local market as a kid during the summers on Nantucket. Here are some questions the tourists asked.)

Random Customer #1: “Where is the beach?” (We’re on an island?)

Random Customer #2: “Where’s main street?” (The store was on main street.)

Random Customer #3: “When did Nantucket become a part of the United States?” (The same time as the rest of Massachusetts. It’s not the 51st state, people.)

Random Customer #4: “What is that one – O-RAY-oh?” (We serve ice cream; Oreo is one of our flavors).

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