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Why… Why Would You Tell Us That?

, , , | Legal | March 19, 2023

I’m a manager. An associate came up to me and discreetly gestured to a customer.

Associate: “Heeeey, that guy just… told me he was stealing? He was in here earlier, and he just told me he took some stuff.”

We watched for a few minutes and saw him stuff some more items into his coat. There happened to be a cop car hanging out in our parking lot (as they sometimes do at night) so I went out to let them know.

Cop: “Yeah, we’ve already had reports about him. Do you want to press charges?”

Me: “I’m sure the company does.”

The customer came out and got on a bike, and the cops drove after him.

They came back a bit later to return our product, and when they dumped the bags out, there was a bunch of stuff that wasn’t even ours. I guess we weren’t the first store he’d hit that night.

Nothing Is More Exhausting Than The Basics

, , , , | Right | March 19, 2023

I work in a computer store. I help a client select a wireless router to use in her home. The next day, she comes in, irate, to complain to my manager that she didn’t receive the correct product.

The customer quickly points me out and, after some yelling and huffing, we begin to address the variety of issues that could have caused the router to not work. After making no headway with all of the advanced networking questions, I decide to start over with the basics.

Me: “Do you currently have a service with an Internet provider?”

Client: “What do you mean?”

Me: “Have you signed up with Clear, Comcast, or AT&T to get Internet in your home?”

Client: “You have to buy the Internet?!”

Who To Point The Meaty Finger Of Blame To?

, , , , , , | Right | March 18, 2023

My wife and I are eating at a well-known fast food chain. A man’s number is called, and he goes up to get his to-go order.

Employee: “Here are your chicken fingers, sir.”

Customer: “Wait a minute. I ordered steak fingers.”

Employee: “We don’t have steak fingers.”

Customer: “Then when I ordered steak fingers, you should have said something!”

Employee: “I must have thought you meant chicken fingers!”

She was so surprised that she didn’t know what else to say. With a scowl, the man grabbed his food and stormed off.

My wife and I speculated about who was denser: the employee who wasn’t listening closely to the man’s order or the guy who thought you could order something that was clearly not on the menu? And for the record, as far as I know, [Fast Food Restaurant] has never offered steak fingers.

Trial By Misdial

, , , , , , | Right | March 17, 2023

I worked as a manager in a busy office and came in one morning to find a message asking me to contact someone urgently. I quickly rang to find out the problem, but in my haste, I dialled the wrong number. I apologised to the lady who answered, and then I dialled the correct number and dealt with the issue.

After a busy hour or so, the phone rang, and I answered.

Me: “Hello, this is [My Name] at [Company]. How can I help you?”

Caller: “How did you get this number?”

Me: “I’m sorry?”

Caller: *Shouting* “I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT THIS NUMBER!”

Me: “I don’t know what you mean. You called us.”

Caller: “YES, BUT YOU CALLED US!”

Me: “One moment, please. I’ll see if anyone was trying to contact you. What’s the name, please?”

Caller: “I’M NOT TELLING YOU MY NAME!”

Me: “Um, I don’t see how I can help with your problem if I don’t know who you are or what it is. This is [Company]. Are you sure you’re calling the right place?”

Caller: “YES! YOUR NUMBER WAS THE LAST ONE THAT RANG!”

Me: “Okay, that helps. If you could give me some idea of what the issue might be?”

Caller: “YOU CALLED US!”

Me: “And do you know what business you might have with us?”

Caller: “I DON’T KNOW WHO YOU ARE, BUT YOU RANG TWENTY MINUTES AGO! I WAS OUT AND MY WIFE ANSWERED!”

The penny drops with me.

Me: “Was that the wrong number I dialled? I’m sorry, but I did apologise for the mistake.”

Caller: “YES! BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “Can’t do what?”

Caller: “YOU CAN’T CALL US!”

Me: “I’m sorry for the intrusion, but it was a mistake. I’ll make sure it doesn’t happen again.”

Caller: “NO! I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU GOT OUR NUMBER?!”

Me: “I don’t know your number. I dialled it by accident. It was a mistake. I’m sorry, but I don’t know what else to say.”

Caller: “THAT’S NOT THE POINT! NO ONE CAN CALL OUR NUMBER!”

Me: “But you said I—”

Caller: “YES! AND I WANT TO KNOW HOW?!”

Me: “I just misdialled—”

Caller: “NO! NO! YOU CAN’T DO THAT!”

Me: “I’m sorry, but I really don’t understand. It was just a mistake. As I don’t think I can help you, would you like me to give you the details of how to make a complaint?”

Caller: “NO! I WANT TO KNOW HOW YOU RANG OUR NUMBER!”

Me: “It was an accident—”

Caller: “BUT YOU CAN’T DO THAT! NOBODY CAN RING US UNLESS WE GIVE THEM OUR NUMBER! WE’RE EX-DIRECTORY!”

Me: *Takes a very deep breath* “Ah, I see. Please let me explain. It doesn’t work that way…”

You don’t need the rest of my attempted explanation. Suffice it to say, I was never sure if I got the point across or not.

Gonna Have A Lot To Vent About To The New Therapist

, , , , , , | Working | March 17, 2023

My therapist’s office does appointment reminders in the form of a recorded message — complete with the computer trying to pronounce my long and hard-to-pronounce name — that calls the day before an appointment. They also hand out little cards with your next appointment date written on them when you leave your appointment.

I usually let the calls go to voicemail and listen to them later since there’s not actually a person on the other end of the line, and to give myself another reminder about the appointment time. I’ve been having issues with this practice for a little while, and this was the last straw.

Me: “Weird.”

Wife: “What?”

Me: “That was the appointment reminder call for my therapy.”

Wife: “They called early this week.”

Me: “I don’t think they meant to. The robot said my appointment is set for Wednesday morning instead of Friday afternoon, and also it called me [Name not even remotely close to mine].”

Wife: “Your appointments are always on Fridays. What does your reminder card say?”

Me: “Friday, so it must have been a mistake.”

I don’t think anything of it and shrug it off as a random error — not even the worst one that’s come out of that office.

The next day, I check my phone after my work shift and I’m surprised to find a voicemail from the receptionist of the practice telling me I’ve missed my appointment. Baffled, I call them.

Me: “Hi, I’m… not entirely sure what happened. I have a set weekly appointment for Friday afternoons that has never changed, but I got a call this morning about a missed appointment?”

Receptionist: “Our attendance policy is pretty strict, you know. If you miss two appointments in a row, we remove you from our services and give your slot to someone who will actually use it.”

Me: “That’s the first I’m hearing about that, but okay. The problem is that my appointment is supposed to be on Friday. I’m not sure what happened, but I didn’t reschedule it, nor was I notified that the appointment time had changed.”

Receptionist: “We called you with an appointment reminder that clearly states the date and time of your appointment.”

Me: “Yes, I got a call last night, but the name on the message wasn’t mine, and the date and time of the appointment didn’t match up, so I assumed it was an error.”

Receptionist: “Our records show that we called you. You should have also received a reminder card at your last appointment.”

Me: “I did get a call, but like I said, the name the robot said during the message wasn’t mine, and I always have appointments on Fridays. I work Wednesday mornings; I would never have scheduled an appointment then. And my card says Friday.”

Receptionist: “I’ll talk to your doctor, but you should really make it to your appointments. We have a waiting list of people who would love to get in here.”

I hang up, still baffled and more than a little irritated. I save the voicemail to keep it from being deleted, confirm the date and time again on my reminder card, and go armed with that to the office on Friday when my appointment should be.

Receptionist: “Your appointment for this week was missed. You’ll have to come back next week. Our attendance policy is—”

Me: “I’m going to have to stop you right there. My appointments are always on Fridays, always, because of my job. I did not reschedule it, I did not ask for it to be rescheduled, and no one reached out to tell me the appointment had been moved.”

Receptionist: “We send out appointment reminders, and we also give out reminder cards that have the time of your next appointment on them.”

I play her the voicemail on speaker and show her my appointment time card with the date displayed on it.

Me: “I don’t know who [Name that isn’t mine] is, but their name doesn’t even come close to sounding like mine. I thought the call was a mistake because all the information was wrong and didn’t match the time card I got last week. I scheduled this appointment for this day at this time. I don’t know what happened, but I don’t think I should be penalized when there was clearly some kind of mix-up somewhere.”

Receptionist: “I’ll see if your doctor can squeeze you in today, but you really need to keep your appointments. We’re very busy.”

Me: “I am trying to keep my appointment — the one I scheduled for today, right now. Here’s the card you gave me last week that states my appointment was supposed to be today, not Wednesday. You heard the voicemail say someone else’s name and a time and date that don’t match what’s written on my card. Clearly, something went screwy somewhere, but it wasn’t on my end.”

Receptionist: “Okay, okay. I’ll call the doctor and see what we can do, but we’ll most likely have to reschedule. Please have a seat. I’ll call you up once we get this sorted.”

I take a seat in the nearly empty waiting room. Ten minutes pass. Twenty. Thirty. Finally, at the forty-five-minute mark, I go back up to the desk.

Me: “Excuse me. Is there any progress?”

Receptionist: “Ma’am, I’ve looked into this. Your appointment was on Wednesday and you got your reminder call. There is nothing more we can do for you. Come back next week. If you miss next week’s appointment, your slot will be given to someone on the waitlist.”

Me: “But my card says— You know what? Never mind. Cancel all my future appointments and give them to someone on that precious waitlist of yours. I won’t be back.”