(I’m in algebra class and we’re learning a rather difficult topic.)
Girl Across the Classroom: “Man, you either get this, or you don’t, and I’m in the middle.”
Me: *facepalms as I realize the impossibility of this statement*
I am polishing glasses behind the counter at the wine cellar where I work. Sitting in front of the counter, a couple ladies and their men discuss ghosts, which both men seem skeptical about.
At some point, pirates are brought up and both men discuss pirates with great interest.
Suddenly one lady says to her man, “Wait, you’re telling me that you don’t believe in ghosts, but you believe in pirates?”
She laughs, clearly thinking this is ironic somehow. The two men glance at each other and chuckle along with her, and her fellow lady just quietly sips some wine.
(I’m opening boxes with my manager.)
Manager: *looks over at me* “Hey, [My Name], do you know the safety regulations for opening boxes?”
Me: “Yeah. Use a box cutter, only have as much blade revealed as needed, and cut away from yourself.”
Manager: “And you are?”
Me: “Using scissors and cutting towards myself.”
Manager: “…”
Me: “Just because I know the safety regulations doesn’t mean I’m going to follow them.”
(I work in a web development company. My boss is generally a smart man, but oblivious. I am one of the most qualified techs he’s got, and I also work as a project manager. I am also his only female tech. We are on a video call with a somewhat unhappy client. We have been missing pages and building stuff wrong, but according to my documentation, we are doing what we should. I have been apologising to the client all morning.)
Boss: “Well, you will really have to make up for the lost time. What is it this time?”
Me: “A page I didn’t know we needed.”
Boss: “Why not?!”
Client: “It’s right there, on page 10!”
Me: “I’m looking at page 10, and there is nothing.”
(We are talking about a wireframe.)
Client: “Your secretary can’t read, [Boss].”
Me: “I am not a secretary, and I don’t think we are looking at the same document.”
([Boss] starts looking real shifty, and runs off to fetch his laptop. He brings it to me and shows me the document he has, on page 10, with the necessary info, and all the other stuff we have been getting wrong. Wanting to save face, I assure the client it will not happen again. He thanks me for my effort, looking a little sheepish at his mistake about my position, and I turn to my boss.)
Me: “Why didn’t you give me that document? This is twice as long as the one you gave me!”
Boss: “Well, I assumed you could figure it out.”
Me: “Without the brief?”
Boss: “I just assumed you’d have it! Now, go and fix your mistakes.”
(I buy some leggings that are 50% off of the original price of £8. There is something wrong with the tills, so the cashiers have to work stuff out on calculators. I am dumbfounded when the girl starts using her calculator to figure out 50% of £8.)
Cashier: “Um… That’s £7.84, please.”
Me: “No, that’s not right.”
Cashier: “50% off is £7.84.”
Me: “No, it should be £4.”
(The cashier takes her calculator and shows me how she worked it out. She divided 800 by 50 and took the answer, 16, off the £8.)
Me: “That’s not how you work out percentages. 50% is half; half of 8 is 4.”
Cashier: *pauses* “I think you’re right, actually. Sorry. That’s £4, please.”
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