(I work in a hotel.)

Me: “Thank you for calling. How may I help you?”

Customer: “Hi, I want to cancel my reservation.”

Me: “Okay, what’s your reservation number?”

Customer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay. Did you make the reservation here, or with an agency?”

Customer: “I don’t know; I didn’t make it.”

Me: “Okay, under whose name is it?”

Customer: “I already told you; I didn’t make it. I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, which hotel and which dates do you have?”

(We are a big chain with hotels all over the world.)

Customer: “Yeah, it’s for some date in September, and somewhere in Mexico.”

Me: “Where in Mexico? We have 20 hotels in different locations there.”

Customer: “I don’t know! Can you just cancel my reservation?”

Me: “I have to find it first, but if you don’t give me more information, it’s going to be hard to do so.”

Customer: “Okay, just leave it the way it is, but if I get charged, I will report you because you didn’t want to help me.”

(Then, they hung up.)

(I’m in the car with my ex and his new girlfriend. We are in our 20s, and although she is nice, she sometimes seems kind of… airheaded.)

New Girlfriend: “…so, my grandparents had two Dalmatians and they had puppies. But one of them was a black lab. Have you ever heard of that? A purebred black lab from two Dalmatians?!”

Me: *trying not to laugh, while keeping a straight face towards the road* “Yeah, I’ve never heard of that. A purebred.”

Ex: *in backseat face-palming*

(A customer, who is with her friend, is talking with my manager, wanting to return some things. Our policy for cash returns is that they need to show some identification.)

Manager: “Can I see some ID?”

Customer: “I don’t have one.”

Manager: “Does your friend have one?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Do you know anyone at all who has one? A parent? Your friends?”

Customer: “No.”

Manager: “Well, we’re not allowed to do a cash return unless we see some ID.”

Customer: “I don’t have an ID… but I have a license. Would that work?”

(I am the customer in this story. It is New Year’s Eve, around 10:30 or 11:00 pm. I have just gotten off a shift at a fast food restaurant and am headed home when I receive a call inviting me to a party. Since I will be working at 5:00 am on New Year’s Day, I don’t want to stay long, and I am too young to drink, so I stop by a different location of my restaurant on my way to the party to grab a caffeinated beverage.)

Worker: “Welcome to [Restaurant]. How may I help you?”

Me: “Hi! Can I please have a [drink]? That will be it.”

Worker: “Absolutely. Your total will be [price] at the first window. Thank you!”

Me: “Thank you!” *pulls up to first window*

(We make small talk about having to work New Year’s Eve. I am still in my uniform.)

Worker: “Okay, I will have your [drink] at the next window.”

(Thinking the conversation has ended, I then speed off — past the pick-up window — and start to turn onto the road when I realize what I’ve done. Luckily there are no other customers in line. I sheepishly drive back to the window to the worker, who hung his head out the window to see where I went, and is now trying to stifle laughter.)

Me: “It’s been a long night. I hope you have a great New Year.”

Worker: “You, too. Have a better night!”

This story is part of the New Year’s Eve roundup!

Read the next New Year’s Eve roundup story!

Read the New Year’s Eve roundup!

(It is August 2017, a few weeks before a solar eclipse. News sources have reported that people can get solar eclipse glasses for free at libraries nationwide, misrepresenting our distribution process and availability. To make matters worse, all local retailers sell out of eclipse glasses weeks before the eclipse. Additionally, the day of the eclipse also happens to be the first day of school in our local district.)

Coworker: “Thank you for calling [Library]. How can I help you?”

Patron: “Hi, do you have any eclipse glasses available for purchase? My kids are going to be in school during the eclipse.”

Coworker: “Unfortunately, no. We are only distributing solar eclipse glasses at our solar eclipse programs to attendees. Because all of our other solar eclipse programs have already passed, we are distributing all remaining glasses at the viewing party on the day of the eclipse.”

(At this point, most patrons ask when the program will start and when glasses will be distributed. However, this patron has a better idea.)

Patron: “That’s really inconvenient, you know? Why would you have a family program like that on the first day of school? Now, none of the local students will be able to go!”

Coworker: “I’m very sorry, ma’am. We scheduled the program before the first day of school was announced.”

Patron: “If I complain to your superiors, do you think they might move the program to a different day, so that my kids can attend?”

Coworker: *pause* “You want us to move the solar eclipse viewing program to a different day?”

Patron: “Exactly!”

This story is part of the Eclipse roundup!

Read the next roundup story!

Read the roundup!