Customer: “I paid for $21 and it stopped at $15!”

Me: “Is it full?”

Customer: “No, I paid for $21!”

Me: *squeezes nozzle* “Okay… I got a couple drops in, but I really think you’re full.”

Customer: “But I put in $21. Why won’t it fill up? I know it isn’t full!”

(At this point I pull the nozzle out and gas comes shooting out of the tank like Coke and Mentos.)

Customer: “There’s a hole in my car. What can I do?!”

Me: “No, you’re just full.”

Customer: “WHY?! This never happens at other gas stations! I don’t understand the problem!”

Me: “Good evening! You have reached [Campground]. How can I help?”

Customer: “Excuse me, miss, but will I need my parka? I hear it’s only 28 degrees up there today.”

Me: “I wouldn’t imagine so. It’s hot and sunny outside. Everyone here is wearing shorts and t-shirts.”

Customer: “Are you crazy?! It’s 28 degrees!”

Me: “Sir, that’s in degrees Celsius.”

Customer: “What do you mean Celsius? Is that like the number on the thermometer? Are your thermometers smaller in Canada? Is that why it’s 28?”

Me: *gives up* “Yes. Have a great night.”

This story is part of the fourth Geography roundup!

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Customer: “I am calling to let you know that you are running an illegal operation.”

Me: “Pardon me?”

Customer: “That’s right! My computer says so right on the screen!”

Me: “Ma’am, that’s a Microsoft error message that says, ‘Your program has performed an illegal operation.'”

Customer: “There is nothing wrong with my computer! I have a 15-inch neck!” *hangs up*

(I assume the customer was referring to her monitor… a 15-inch NEC.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m here to pick up my pictures.”

(I grab the customer’s pictures and she proceeds to look through them. She then hands one of the pictures to me.)

Customer: “Can you print this the other way?”

Me: “The other way?”

Customer: “Yes, flip it around.”

Me: “Okay…”

(Confused, I go into the lab, insert the film negative into the machine upside down and print a mirrored image for the customer.)

Me: “Here you go!”

Customer: “No, no, no. Flip it around!”

Me: “I did. See, it’s mirrored.”

Customer: “No, no, no. My husband took the picture. Can you flip it around and print him?”

Me: “…”

(At our natural foods store, a customer swipes her card through the debit machine and is looking at me funny.)

Customer: “Um… where is the stylus?”

Me: “This machine doesn’t have one; we have a pen to sign anything. Did you want that as credit?”

Customer: “No, I want to enter my PIN but I don’t understand how I am supposed to do that with no stylus.”

Me: “Oh, well… you just press the buttons.”

Customer: “You mean I have to use my fingers?!”

Me: “Yes, you use your fingers…”

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