(A customer brings me the bowl from a salad spinner set.)
Customer: “How much is this hat?”
Me: “Ma’am, that goes to a salad set. It’s not a hat.”
(She doesn’t understand, so I tell her I’ll find the price. I come back with the whole set.)
Me: “You see ma’am, this is used to dry salad after you wash it. You turn the handle and–”
Customer: “I only want the hat, not the box and the hat!” *walks off*
(I had lost my entire wallet just a week prior. A customer approaches my check stand. He has an eighteen-pack of beer on the belt, and he looks about twenty years old.)
Me: *ringing him up* “ID, please.”
Customer: “You got it!”
(The customer pulls out a wallet that looks exactly like mine, broken chain and all. He then proceeds to show me my own ID.)
Me: *taking my wallet back from him* “Two problems with this.”
Customer: “What the h***, man?!”
Me: “First off, this is MY ID; MY wallet. Secondly, I’m not twenty-one, and neither is this thing.”
Customer: *runs out of the store*
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Customer: “I’m here to return this shirt. I’m not satisfied with it.”
Me: “I’m sorry to hear that. Could you explain what’s wrong with it?”
Customer: “The writing on it is all backward.”
(She pulls the shirt from her bag, but the lettering looks fine.)
Me: “Ma’am, I’m looking at it right now, and this shirt is definitely not backward.”
Customer: “No, I went home and tried it on, and it was backward!”
Me: “Were you looking in a mirror?”
Customer: “Yes, but it should still read from right to left!”
Customer: “I want to pay my cell phone bill.”
Me: “Sure. May I have your wireless number?”
Customer: “Oh, I don’t give that out.”
Me: “Well, I’m sorry, sir, I need your wireless number in order to pull up your account.”
Customer: “No! I don’t give anyone my number. That’s personal and private. Let me give you my social…”
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(A customer asked me to help with the Skee-Ball machine.)
Me: “Is the machine broken or malfunctioning?”
Customer: “Do you know where the skis are?”
Me: “…excuse me?”
Customer: “Ski ball. Where are the skis for me to play with?”
Me: “Skis?”
Customer: “As in cross-country skis?”
Me: “This isn’t that kind of Skee-Ball. You pick up the ball and roll it up there.”
Customer: “Then why is there a slope with a ramp on it at the end?”
Me: “For you to roll the ball up?”
Customer: “IT’S A SKI SLOPE! Although it’s kind of… backward.” *examines the machine*
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