(I work at the service counter at a big retailer in the area. Today has been a pretty bland day. A elderly customer has just come up with a value-size peanut butter to return.)
Me: “Hi, sorry about the wait. What can I do for you?”
Customer: “I want to return this.”
Me: “Is there anything wrong with it?”
Customer: “Yes, it has peanuts in it.”
(And no, she did not mean that it was crunchy peanut butter. I waited until after she left to laugh about it.)
(I’m working the front register during a very busy dinner rush. My manager was helping me put together orders, but then stepped out for a few minutes to prepare a specific salad we ran out of. Due to this, I have to ask the next person in line to wait a minute while I bag a couple of orders for people who have been waiting a while. I’m currently in my last year of high school.)
Customer #1: “Well, fine! But you guys are fast food. This is in no way fast.”
Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am, but we are slammed, both inside and in drive-thru.”
(I finish up two orders, and then I return to the register.)
Me: “Sorry about your wait. Will this be for here or to go?”
Customer #1: “I don’t have time for your stupid questions! Give me a [combo], and make it snappy!”
Me: *marking the order as to go* “Absolutely. What would you like to drink with that?”
Customer #1: “Your dumb questions slow everything down! Get me a Dr. Coke!”
Me: *thinking I misheard her* “I’m sorry, ma’am. You said a diet coke?”
Customer #1: “NO! DR. COKE!”
Me: “I apologize, but we don’t have a Dr. Coke soda. Did you mean a Dr. Pepper?”
Customer #1: “No, you dumb***! Get me a Dr. Coke, large!”
Me: *giving up and ringing it as a Dr. Pepper* “That’ll be [total], please.”
Customer #1: “Seriously, why do they hire dropouts? I bet you didn’t even complete first grade. You don’t know what ‘fast food’ means, and you don’t know what a Dr. Coke is.”
Me: *getting fed up by her rudeness* “That’ll be out for you shortly.”
Customer #1: “Get me that Dr. Coke, right now!”
(I look around and notice my manager hasn’t returned from making more salads.)
Me: *to the next customer in line* “I’ll be right with you, sir. Sorry about the wait.”
Customer #1: “Hello! I need that Dr. Coke!”
(Unfortunately, our soda fountains are right in the customer’s view, but I go ahead and begin to dispense a Dr. Pepper.)
Customer #1: “No! No! No! I said a Dr. Coke!”
Me: “Sorry, ma’am.” *getting fed up, and I decide to give a Diet Coke a try*
Customer #1: “Not DIET! DR. COKE! My God! How stupid are you?”
(By now, our line is almost to the door, and the next customer in line speaks up.)
Customer #2: “You know what, lady? This young lady has been working hard up here, and the wait has been long because they’re really busy, and you have been giving her a hard time. Seriously, I have never heard of a Dr. Coke before, and frankly, after how rude you’ve been to her, you should be happy that she’s giving you a drink, so shut up and let her do her job!”
Customer #1: “My God! The world is so stupid! That’s a Dr. Coke!” *points to the root beer* “You know what? I won’t take this!” *storms out without food or a refund*
(By this time, my manager has returned to the front and caught up on the orders. I flag him down as he’s bringing out the rude lady’s order.)
Me: “The lady who placed this order stormed out.”
Manager: “Did she get a refund?”
Me: “No, she stormed out before I could give it to her.”
Customer #2: *to me* “How much is that combo, sweetheart? I’ll take it.” *hands me over the money*
Manager: “You don’t have to pay for that, sir. Thank you for standing up to my employee. What would you like to order? It’s on the house.”
Customer #2: “I was going to order that exact combo, but with a Dr. Pepper instead of a Dr. Coke.” *winks*
Me: “You got it. Would you like anything else?”
Customer #2: “Just that customers don’t give you such a difficult time, sweetheart. You’re doing great, and don’t let anybody tell you otherwise.”
Me: “Thank you, sir.”
Customer #2: “Thank you. You have fantastic customer service skills, and if you ever applied for a job, I’d hire you in an instant. Keep up the great work, and take care.”
(Thank you, kind sir; once you left, everybody was much kinder, despite the long wait. You certainly made my night.)
(I am donating blood through a blood drive at my college. I am sitting with a worker, answering screening questions about my history. For reference, I was born in 1990, and the worker is looking at my paperwork, which has my birthdate on it.)
Worker: “Between 1990 and 1995, were you an active member of the military or a military dependent?”
Me: “Yes.”
(Long pause.)
Worker: “So, were you in the military or a dependent?”
Me: “…”
(I answer the phone.)
Me: *in Dutch* “[Institute]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Do you speak any Dutch?”
Me: *in Dutch* “Yes, ma’am, I do. You have reached [Institute]. How may I help you?”
Caller: “So, you speak some Dutch?”
Me: “Yes, ma’am, I am certified near-native, and I do translation work here at the institute. How may I help you?”
Caller: “Oh… kay, I guess. Well, I’m doing a huge dissertation; I mean a really big one.”
Me: “All right…”
Caller: “It’s about the war.”
Me: “All right…”
Caller: “So, my professor said that your library has a lot about the subject it’s on.”
Me: “That is very likely. You may come during [opening hours] and sign in to access the library.”
Caller: “I want to make an appointment.”
Me: “The library doesn’t work with appointments. You can just come sign in and go right in.”
Caller: “But I want an appointment.”
Me: “I’m sorry. The library doesn’t work with appointments, but you can simply come use it, and the archive. For free.”
Caller: “But I’ve never been there before!”
Me: “All right.”
Caller: *whining* “How will I know what to do?“
Me: “There is always someone at the information desk in the library to help visitors navigate the books and archives.”
Caller: “And he will have the time to just work with me until I’m done?”
Me: “Well, no, we cannot provide step-by-step continual personal guidance for each and every visitor, but he will explain how the system works, and how to access the material and request documents, and he will be right there if you have any questions.”
Caller: “But you just said he’ll be there to help me.”
Me: “Yes. He is there to help all of the visitors to the library and archives.”
Caller: “But I need someone to help me! You said he’s there to help me.”
Me: “He is there to help you. He is there to help everyone.”
Caller: *whining* “But what if I can’t find something?”
Me: “Then you go to him.”
Caller: “So, basically everything is incredibly easy to find?”
Me: “Well, you need to use the system, which he will explain in detail when you come in.”
Caller: “I still think I should just make an appointment.”
Me: “The library does not work with appointments, and we do not have anyone on staff who can stop their important research work to spend several hours in the library with each visitor. Please believe me: the system is simple, and there is always someone there to help you.”
Caller: *outright sulking* “Well, I GUESS.” *big sigh* “FINE. I will come use the library. But I still think I should be able to make an appointment so someone can actually help me.” *click*
My grandmother just turned 82 and had a check lost in the mail. This started a chain-reaction of fraud. First was an attempt to charge on a card, which the bank stopped. Then, there was an attempted wire transfer which was also stopped by the bank. You’d think this is where we were most vulnerable, but no.
My grandmother lives in California. The thief went into a bank, in person, in New York, and managed to open the ATM account. Mind you, this account was on stop due to the fraud. Whoever they were, they must have had acting skills, because without any ID, the banker in New York and the banker’s manager reopened the account and rushed a new ATM card to the thief. In one weekend, the thief stole over $10,000 — basically all the money my grandmother had — all because two fools in New York believed some crap sob story and didn’t enforce the ID rule!
On the plus side, the bank is getting all the money back to my grandmother. Also on the plus side, she was advised that while the thief will likely get away with it, the New York banker and bank manager will likely lose their jobs.
This story is part of our Bad Bankers roundup!
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