(Italy is famous for its churches. You can find a church in every square, in old towns there’s almost one in every street, and all of them are famous for something — paintings, statues, tombs, etc. Two girls come into my office and ask me:)
Girls: “Where is the church?”
Me: “Um… Which one are you looking for?”
Girls: “The famous one.”
Me: “We have one in front of us, one next to us, and one at the end of the street; choose one!”
Girls: “Okay, thank you!”
(I work as a cab driver in Las Vegas. While I have a fair share of stupid customers, this one really takes the cake. I accept the radio call telling me to pick up a passenger at the public bus depot downtown. As I am on my way there, I call the customer to verify where I am picking them up. It is near sunset.)
Passenger: “I’m standing at [Street] and [Wrong Street Name].”
Me: “Do you mean [Correct Street Name]? That puts you on the east side of the building. I can only pick you up on [Street], on the west side of the building.”
Passenger: “Well, I just moved here and don’t know where that is.”
Me: “It’s on the west side of the building.”
Passenger: “I don’t know which direction that is.”
Me: *proceeds to pull over and slam forehead onto steering wheel*
(I work as a head cashier. Basically, it’s my job to help if any one of my cashiers starts to have problems with a customer. I get called over to returns to help.)
Coworker: “Hey, [My Name]. This customer would like a refund on this drill set, but it seems to be missing pieces. Can we still do the refund?”
Me: “Depends on what pieces are missing.”
(We can still do the refund if small pieces are missing, but not big ones.)
Customer: “Oh, nothing too important, just some small parts.”
Me: “Okay, did you check to see what’s missing?”
Customer: “Why do they have to check? Don’t you trust me?”
Me: *pause* “Yeah, I trust you. We still have to check the box, though.”
Customer: “Fine.” *puts box on counter*
([Coworker] opens the box that’s supposed to contain two drills, two batteries, and some small parts. This box contains… nothing.)
Coworker: “Um, did you bring in the right box? This one has nothing in it.”
Customer: “No, that’s the right box.”
Coworker: “But there’s nothing in it.”
Customer: “Well, yeah. I told you it was missing parts; that’s why I wanted a refund.”
Me: “Oh, do you mean you bought it, got home, and nothing was in it?”
Customer: “No… There was a pair of drills and batteries. I have them at home.”
Me: “So… If you want to refund the set… you need to bring the drills and batteries back.”
Customer: “But the box said I can get a refund if there’s parts missing from it.”
Me: “Yes, but that’s only if there were originally missing parts from the box.”
Customer: “Well, there are parts missing.”
Me: “Do you know what parts?”
Customer: “Yeah! Two drills and two batteries. Now I want my refund, g**d*** it.”
(This went on for another ten minutes. He ended up asking for the manager and being asked to leave.)
(I work in a large, open-plan office space. I overhear this gem at the island next to mine:)
Coworker #1: “Hey, did you know our general manager had a twin sister? He told me they’re really close; they talk to each other almost every day.”
Coworker #2: *who is going to be a first-time dad in a few months* “Wait. How is that possible? Can a boy be twins with a girl?!”
All Of Us: “…”
(I work in a bookstore. School is about to start, so we’ve had a lot of people coming in looking for dictionaries for their children. Usually this is not a complicated request, until this lady comes in.)
Lady: “Hi, I’m looking for a dictionary?”
Me: “Of course. They’re just over here.” *starts walking toward dictionaries*
Lady: “So, um… Is a dictionary the same as a thesis?”
Me: “You mean a thesaurus?”
Lady: “Yeah, that.”
Me: *shocked that she has no idea what a thesaurus is, or even what it’s called* “Um, no. Not at all. A dictionary tells you what a word means, and a thesaurus gives you other words that mean the same thing as that word.”
Lady: *still seems really confused* “Oh… Okay… So… Do I need both, then?”
Me: “I… couldn’t say. That’s really up to you.”
Lady: “Well, they only told me to get a dictionary. I thought they were the same thing.”
Me: “We do have packs that come with both, but if they only said to get a dictionary, then that’s probably all you need.”
Lady: “So, I don’t need to get both? But what if she needs it?”
Me: *deciding enough’s enough* “No, you won’t need a thesaurus. Just get the dictionary and you’ll be fine.”
Lady: “Oh, okay. Thank you for your help!”
(I’ve never had so much trouble with what should have been a very quick and simple request! Who on earth doesn’t know the difference between a dictionary and a thesaurus, or what either of them are for? And why did anyone send her to pick them up if she had no idea what she was looking for?)
This story is part of our Book Lovers roundup!
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