(I work as a healthcare consultant. We help doctors earn bonus money from Medicare and Medicaid for meeting certain goals. One client’s office manager sent me the data ahead of time, and now I am entering it online, while she is on the phone with me.)

Me: *reading from the question* “Active engagement with an immunization registry. Do you give any shots, any at all?”

Client’s Office Manager: “No. We refer everyone to the county health department.”

(I check the box for “no” and hit continue. The next page is where you enter the numbers related to the goals. One of the measures is flu vaccines.)

Me: “So, this one will be zero, because you…”

(I look at the spreadsheet and see the practice gave fifteen flu shots during the time frame.)

Me: “I thought you said you didn’t give shots?”

Client’s Office Manager: “Oh, we give flu shots. Do those count?”

(I need to put petrol in my car but I’m not sure I have any money on my credit card. Not wanting to be stuck unable to pay, as I’m a long way from home, I go inside to pay before filling up.)

Me: “Hi, I’m not sure I have any money in my account, so can I pay $50 before I fill up?” *holding up my credit card*

Cashier: “You want to prepay?”

Me: “Yes, please, $50.”

(She seems confused, but progresses the payment, which gets approved.)

Me: “Phew. Wasn’t sure that would work”

Cashier: “You know you can just preselect 50 at the pump?”

Me: “Yes, but I wasn’t sure I had the money to pay for it.”

Cashier: “Yeah, but you can just select 50 at the pump.”

(For those that don’t know, this literally just delivers $50 worth of fuel; it has nothing to do with payment, which must be done from inside the building.)

Me: *holds up card again* “Yeah, but it was my card; I wasn’t sure would work.”

Cashier: “Just select 50 at the pump next time.”

Me: “But I wasn’t sure I could pay for it.”

Cashier: “You just press the 50 button.”

(I just sighed and walked out. She watched me from the window, with a confused expression the whole time, as I filled up $50 worth and drove off.)

(I work at a very small, very busy convenience store. It’s my first day at the register:)

Customer: “A £10 top-up for [Mobile Phone Network].”

Me: *prints out voucher, takes payment, and hands voucher to customer along with receipt* “There you go. Take care.”

(Two minutes later, the customer storms back into the store, barges to the front of the queue, and starts yelling.)

Customer: “Where’s my f****** top-up? All you gave me was the receipt!”

Me: “I can assure you, I gave you the voucher, too. I checked it as I handed it to you.”

Customer: “So, where is it now? You didn’t give it to me!”

Me: “I have no idea. Maybe you dropped it? All I can tell you is that I’m certain I handed you the voucher.”

(At this point both of us notice a small piece of paper by the shop door. The customer picks it up. It turns out to be a mobile phone voucher. I’m expecting an apology. Shows how new I am.)

Customer: “How do I know this is mine?”

Me: “Is it for £10 and [Mobile Phone Network]?”

Customer: “Yes.”

Me: “…”

(The customer stomped out.)

(Overheard as I am getting my ID:)

Lady: “ABC03F–“

Worker: “The eye test doesn’t have any numbers.”

Lady: “Oh, okay. ABC03–“

Worker: “No numbers, just letters.”

Lady: “Oh, okay. ABCD3F–“

Worker: “Letters only.”

Lady: *tries a few more times but fails*

Worker: “I’m sorry, but I have to deny your license renewal until you can talk to your eye doctor. If he clears you, you can drive. Just have him sign this form for me.”

Lady: *leaves*

Worker: *to fellow worker* “I tried to give her a chance. I really wanted her to pass it…”

(Now I know why there are so many accidents around here!)

(I work in a city centre bar, and this takes places on a busy Saturday night. Three Irish guys have ordered a round, and all the card machines stop working whilst one of them is trying to pay.)

Me: “I’m really sorry, but none of the card machines are working. Have you got any cash to pay with?”

(All of them shake their heads no.)

Customer #1: “So there’s something wrong with my card?”

Me: “No, it’s something on our end. None of the machines are working at the moment. Sorry. Let me just go grab my manager to see what I should do.”

(I run into the back to speak to my manager, who tells me to let them have the drinks for free because the fault is on our end. I go tell them this, and carry on serving other people. A few minutes later they attract my attention.)

Customer #2: “Hi, can we have three gin and tonics, please?”

Me: *slightly confused* “Our card machines still aren’t working, sorry, so, if you haven’t got any cash…”

Customer #2: ”I’ve got cash.”

Me: *more confused* “You’ve got cash?”

Customer #2: “Yeah.”

Customer #3: “Why don’t you believe him?”

(In my head: because you said none of you had cash fifteen minutes ago.)

Me: “Oh, I just have to check because the card machines are down. So that’s three double gin and tonics, yeah?”

(I make their drinks, give them to them, then ring it up on the till.)

Me: “That’ll be [amount], please.”

([Customer #2] hands me a note, and when I look I see that it’s a Euro note — currency used in Southern Ireland and some other countries in Europe, but not in the UK. Thinking it’s a genuine mistake I go to give it back to them.)

Me: “Sorry, it looks like you’ve accidentally given me Euros.”

Customer #2: “So?”

Me: “Well, we can’t accept Euros as a method of payment.”

Customer #2: “Yes, you can. You have to.”

Me: “Sorry, but I don’t. We can’t accept Euros.”

Customer #2: “Yeah, but we’re Irish.”

Me: *speechless for a second* “But we’re not. We cannot accept Euros. You need to pay me in pounds.”

Customer #2: “But we’re Irish!”

Me: “That doesn’t make any difference. We can’t accept Euros.”

Customer #2: “But this is the only cash I’ve got!”

(I stare at them for a second, and then ask for their drinks back since they can’t pay for them. The worst part was that they seemed genuinely confused that I couldn’t accept foreign currency. I went in the back and sat down for five minutes after that.)