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I Gave Birth To A Guinea Pig

, , , , | Right | January 29, 2008

Me: “Hi there, ma’am. What can I get for you today?”

Customer: *with her young son* “Yeah, could I have a piece of that bologna so my son can taste it?”

Me: “Sure. Would you like to try it, too?”

Customer: “Oh, no, thanks. I just want to see if my son is allergic.”

Me: “…”


This story is part of our Allergic To Common Sense roundup!

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You Can Never Dumb It Down Enough

, , | Right | January 29, 2008

(We wanted to avoid common questions, so we made a massive wooden ice cream cone and put it up on the counter to display the number of scoops possible, and the price at each level. This thing was like 4 feet high, each scoops with a diameter of at least 1 foot.)

Woman: “Hi, how much is one scoop?”

Coworker: “Oh, right here…” *points to sign*

Woman: “JESUS! Those are huge! How could anyone eat that much?”

Coworker: “…”

(I ran into the back, almost in tears from laughing.)


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PINheaded

, , , | Right | January 23, 2008

Customer: “Hey, somebody painted the wall outside the branch I use!”

Me: “Yes, sir. What seems to be the problem?”

Customer: “Well, now I don’t know my PIN number!”

Me: “I’m sorry, I’m not sure what that has to do with the wall being painted.”

Customer: “I wrote my PIN number on the wall beside the ATM! NOW what am I supposed to do?!”

Me: “…”

Nowhere To Hide

, , | Right | January 23, 2008

Man: “Oh, miss! I notice your shirt says the ‘[Company] Steam Train.’ You work there?”

Me: “…yes?”

Man: “So there are, like… trains?”

Me: “Of course…”

Man: “So why are you at [Store]? Shouldn’t you be doing your job? There are no trains here!”

Me: “Sir, it’s called a lunch break.”

Man: “Oh…” *radiates a healthy scarlet color*


This story is part of our customer treating staff less-than-human roundup!

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Depth Perception Strikes Again, Part 2

, , , , | Right | January 21, 2008

(The following took place outside a small dentist’s office. The client requested an electric sign that that was a full-color copy of their business card, it took four weeks to fabricate and cost $3500.)

Dentist’s Wife: “Wow, that turned out JUST perfect! My husband is going to be so pleased to see that up when he gets back.”

Me: “I’m glad you like it, we’re very happy how it all came together.”

(A crane truck and two installers hoist the sign in the air, attach it to the 16′ pole and turn the lighting on.)

Dentist’s Wife: “Oh wait, that’s… that’s not right, you need to take it down now, I don’t believe this!! I want our money back!”

Me: “Ma’am? What’s wrong?”

Dentist’s Wife: “Well look at it, will you? It’s not right, it’s not the same as our card.”

Me: *pulling out my paperwork* “Now ma’am, both you and your husband approved the design, you signed off on the comps, the shop drawings, the contracts and all the permitting. We just can’t be expected to–”

Dentist’s Wife: “Any fool can see that these do not look the same! Oh, my husband is going to be so mad with you people!”

Me: “But why? We’ve worked closely with you on every step of the approval process, they are identical in every way.”

Dentist’s Wife: “Just look at this and you can see how different they are!”

(She holds the business card up at arm’s length and closes one eye.)

Dentist’s Wife: “Look! Look! The sign… the sign, it’s just so much… bigger!”


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