Right Working Romantic Related Learning Friendly Healthy Legal Inspirational Unfiltered

It’s A Perm, Not A Sperm

, , , , | Right | June 5, 2009

Me: “[Beauty Supply Store]. How can I help you?”

Caller: *almost sobbing* “I need help! Do you know about permanent waves?”

Me: “Yes, we carry a few different brands. Did you buy one here?”

Caller: “No, I had one done by a friend. I don’t know where she bought it. I need to know… is it true that you can get pregnant if you have a perm while you’re on your period?”

(At this point I’m hoping it’s a prank call. I try to keep my voice professional.)

Me: “No, ma’am. A perm can’t cause that.”

Caller: “Are you sure?”

Me: “Yes, I am 100% positive having your hair permed can’t make you pregnant.”

Caller: “Oh, thank God!” *hangs up*

As The Price Decreases, So Does Brain Cell Count

, , , , | Right | June 4, 2009

Customer: “I have a coupon here that says 25% off. What does that mean?”

Me: “It means you get 25% off.”

Customer: “Huh?”

Me: “You will get 25% off your total price.”

Customer: “I don’t understand. Why does it say that?”

Me: “It’s a discount. They’ll give you a cheaper price.”

Customer: “Huh? This coupon doesn’t make sense.”

Me: “When you give your coupon to the attendant, they’ll take 25% off your ticket price.”

Customer: “I don’t have a coupon.”

Me: “…”

Fattening Fallacies

, , , | Right | June 3, 2009

Me: “Welcome to [Coffee Shop]. What can I get for you?”

Customer: “Could I get that donut right there?” *points*

Me: “Sure thing.”

(I put it on a plate and hand it to him.)

Customer: “Can you heat it up for me, please?”

Me: “No problem. I’ll just be a minute.”

Customer: “Put it in for exactly seven seconds. If you microwave food for seven seconds, it becomes negative calories. Did you know that?”

Me: “Um… I don’t think that’s how food works.”

Customer: “Well, how would you know? You’re just a part-time employee at a coffee shop.”

Me: “I work part-time to pay for University… where I study health and nutrition…”

Customer: “What are they teaching kids these days?!” *walks away angrily without the donut*

Me: “Have a nice day?”


This story is part of our Junk Food Day roundup!

Read the next Junk Food Day story!

Read the Junk Food Day roundup!

Batteries And Brains Not Included

, , , , , , | Right | June 3, 2009

Me: “[Video Game Store]. how can I help you?”

Caller: “I’d like to return my 320.”

Me: “You mean your Xbox 360?”

Caller: “Yeah, whatever, it has numbers in it.”

Me: “Okay, has it been opened?”

Caller: “Yes.”

Me: “Then I can’t return the 360 for you. I can only give you a defective exchange.”

(At this point, the caller gets very agitated and begins yelling and cursing on the phone.)

Me: “Ma’am, can you stop yelling?”

Caller: “I demand to speak to your manager! This is outrageous! You have no idea what you are doing in the retail business. Customers are ALWAYS right.”

Me: “To a certain extent, yes. I can give you a defective exchange, but that’s it.”

Caller: “Well, how the h*** am I supposed to know if my 360 works or not with the exchange?!”

Me: “You’ll know if it blinks green lights or red lights when you plug it into the TV.”

Caller: “I don’t have a f****** TV!”

Hand Washing’s Heyday Is Gone

, , , | Right | June 2, 2009

(I am bagging groceries at a till when this occurs.)

Me: “Would you like your meat wrapped in plastic?”

Customer: “Why would I want that?”

Me: “Well, it’s to prevent cross-contamination. If your chicken were to leak, it could contaminate your beef.”

Customer: “That’s bull!”

Me: “Uh… what?”

Customer: “Cross-contamination doesn’t exist anymore. It hasn’t for fifty years. Where have you been?”

Me: “…”