(This takes place during the recent romaine lettuce recall before the CDC was able to trace where the contaminated lettuce was coming from. My boss overhears this snippet as he is walking by a table:)
Customer: “You would think that they would have this figured out by now, with the lettuce coming all the way from Romania!”
(We don’t know if the customer was serious or joking. Hopefully joking, but I have strong suspicions she was serious.)
(I can’t help but overhear the following conversation between two girls sitting behind me in math class.)
Girl #1: “So, I guess [Guy] is going to visit this summer from Canada.”
Girl #2: “Oh, when’s he flying in?”
Girl #1: “I think he said he was driving, but wait, that can’t be right. How could he be driving in from another country?”
Girl #2: “No no, Canada is connected to America over, like, New York. I have cousins there in Ontario.”
Girl #1: “But [Guy] said he was coming through, like, Washington and s***.”
Girl #2: “Hey, yeah, that can’t be right. That’s on the west coast with us. Canada’s not there! That’s like Alaska and Montana and s*** above that. What part of Canada is he in?”
Girl #1: “Um… Albertia, or something, but that’s not Canada… is it?”
Girl #2: “No, that’s not Canada. I don’t know what that is but it’s not Canada. Canada isn’t over on this side… Wait. Is it?!”
Girl #1: “So, if we’re in the west… and Canada’s in the east like New York… Wait, yeah, how could it be over here, too?!”
Girl #2: “I think [Guy] is f****** lying to us!”
Related:
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 9
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 8
Canada: America’s Hat, Part 7
(Our hotel, like many these days, has a campaign going to try and encourage guests to be more “green” by forgoing cleaning services. For every night they do this, if they are a rewards member, they are rewarded with points on their rewards profile. Guests indicate their wish to participate by placing a specialized door hanger out at night to be collected by housekeeping. The hangers do also have a checklist on the back of small items that the guest might need and can request without voiding their points claim for the night — things like towels, coffee, etc. There is also a notes section to let us know about maintenance problems or other requests. This is by far my favorite comment left on one of these hangers.)
Note: “Please clean the entire room! Thank you!”
(I don’t think those particular guests took the point of the initiative to heart.)
(The restaurant I work in has a Tuesday night dinner special for a three-course dinner for two at a very reduced rate, eat-in only. On Thursday, a lady calls:)
Caller: “Do you do take-out?”
Me: “Yes.”
Caller: “Can I get the Thursday night special?”
Me: “There is a Tuesday night special, but it is eat-in only.”
Caller: “So, I can’t get the Tuesday night special tonight for take-out, then?”
Me: “No, ma’am, you can’t get the eat-in only Tuesday night special for take-out on Thursday.”
Caller: “Fine, I guess I won’t be ordering anything.” *click*
(I didn’t feel the least bit bad.)
(I work in an art store that also sells office supplies. Almost everything has many varieties, so it’s easier just to refer to brands or purposes when customers are vague. Some people don’t know enough to even be vague. I’m working the register when this exchange happens.)
Customer: *walks up to the counter with two packs of pencil-top erasers*
Me: “Hi there. How are you tonight?”
Customer: “Fine. I need some help finding an eraser.”
Me: “All right, what kind do you need? We have—“
Customer: *gesturing at the pencil-top erasers* “I was looking for a big eraser, like these, but only one of them.”
Me: “You mean for a pencil-top eraser?”
Customer: “Yeah, I need an eraser, but bigger and just one of them.”
Me: *noticing she hasn’t specifically told me what kind of eraser she needs, I take a guess* “I don’t think we have pencil-top erasers in singles, but I can call someone up to double—“
Customer: *becoming irritated* “No, not a pencil-topper. I’m looking for a big rectangle eraser. You know, a rectangle?” *traces a rectangle in front of my face with her fingers*
Me: *taken slightly aback* “Oh, my apologies, we have some white and pink pearl erasers behind you; would those do?”
Customer: “Ugh, no, I’m looking for a big rectangle, just…” *big huff* “Forget it.”
(She turns away and walks right into my coworker, and starts off a similar conversation.)
Customer: “I don’t think he knows what erasers are.”
(After hitting most of the notes our own conversation had, she’s led by my coworker to the aisle right in front of the register.)
Coworker: “You mean these pink and white pearl erasers right here?”
Customer: “That’s exactly it!”
(They return to the counter.)
Customer: “See, this one right here. This is what I was talking about.” *brandishing the eraser in her hand*
Me: “Yes, that’s the white pearl I referred to.”
Customer: “Oh, well, I don’t have any idea what that is. I don’t work here.”
(I do, but I guess six months isn’t enough to know what erasers are.)
