(We sell cosmetics at our store and often give away things with certain products. One customer insists on receiving these things without purchasing the required products.)
Me: “I’m sorry, sir, but I cannot give away things for free; it is against our store’s policy.”
Customer: “Oh, my God! Did I ever say I wanted free things? I said I wanted gifts!”
(I am waiting at a popular electronics store that requires you to make an appointment to have your electronics examined when they are malfunctioning. I arrive about ten minutes before my appointment at 11:50 and wait to talk to someone. I go up to the lady who is checking people in.)
Me: “Do I check in with you?”
Employee: “Yes, you do. Can I get your name?”
Me: “Absolutely. It’s [My Name].”
Employee: “Hmmm, I’m not seeing you on the list. What time is your appointment?”
Me: “11:50.”
Employee: “I’m sorry, I don’t see you on the appointments for that time. Do you happen to have the confirmation email on your phone?”
(I roll my eyes, pull my phone out, and pull up the confirmation email. I show it to her and read it, saying specifically that my appointment is at 1:50, not 11:50. I look down in embarrassment.)
Me: “My appointment is at 1:50.”
Employee: “Mmhmm.”
Me: “I’ll see you later. I’m sorry I was rude. I was wrong.”
(A customer hands me a coupon.)
Customer: “This is for up to $12.99.”
(This is kind of weird, but I assume she is just trying to help me by showing me the fine print. I check it over, and it does say that the item is free up to that value, so I scan through her item — which is only $7.49 — and take the value of the item off. Immediately after that item, however, she has an identical item, and as I go to grab it, she interrupts.)
Customer: “So, the rest of the $12.99 comes off the second item, right?”
Me: “Um, no, it’s for one item, so you just get the $7.49 off.”
Customer: “No. It’s for up to $12.99, so I get the $12.99 off if I buy these two items.”
Me: “No, see, it says right here on the coupon that it’s just for one item, so I can only take that much off.”
(She takes a deep breath before glaring at me.)
Customer: “No. That’s not how it works. My friend had the same coupon, and when she got home and saw they only took the $7.49 off, she came back in, and they gave her the full $12.99 off, so you have to give me the $12.99, too.”
Me: “Well, um, I’m sorry, but–“
Customer: “Is there anyone you can call over that I can speak with?”
Me: “Um, let me grab my supervisor…”
(I grab her and bring her over. The woman repeats her story, and my supervisor carefully reads the coupon.)
Supervisor: “No, I’m sorry, but [My Name] was right; this coupon is only valid on one item. You can only get the $7.49 off. The $12.99 is just there because places price things different and it needs to have a maximum value to protect us.”
(With a huff, the woman grabs the coupon back.)
Customer: “Fine! I’ll take it somewhere else and get them to do it right!”
(She stormed out.)
My three siblings and I all started work in the service industry as soon as we were old enough, and out of all our experiences, my favorite Crazy Work Story is my younger sister’s.
She works in a store in the mall that sells very fun but very expensive clothing and accessories and that actually has a policy allowing employees to confront shoplifters. One day, a young guy — college-age — comes in wearing a bulging, heavy coat. Everything about his demeanor and the way he tries to avoid the employees screams, “Shoplifter!” from the moment he enters. My sister tries to keep an eye on him until he asks to go in a fitting room.
Their fitting rooms aren’t groups of stalls separated by sex but actual closet-sized rooms behind regular doors in the wall. They can only be opened from the outside by employees with keys, but, of course, customers can open them from the inside without a key. My sister unlocks a room for him and continues to keep an eye on it after he goes inside. As soon as he leaves, his coat now bulging even more, she peeks inside and sees that the room is full of anti-theft tags.
She catches up with him and asks him what all those anti-theft tags are doing in the fitting room he was using. He silently shakes his head, holds up his arms, and shrugs. The motion causes two of her store’s hats to fall out of his coat. According to my sister, “It looked like he just gave birth to them!” I can’t picture the scene without hearing a sitcom laugh track.
Well, mall security is called, and an empty-your-pockets ritual is conducted in her store’s back room. He hands over thousands of dollars’ worth of stuff from multiple stores in the mall, completely covering the table, including several very expensive gadgets from a certain computer store. Charges are pressed, and my sister is tasked with returning all the failed-to-be-stolen goods back to where they came from. (I am livid that the computer store, which had stood to lose the most money had she not caught the guy, didn’t give her a gift card or something as a reward!)
I guess the moral of the story is, if you get away with stealing thousands of dollars’ worth of stuff, quit while you’re ahead and don’t push your luck trying to steal a few hats.
(I am a student nurse, about a year from graduation. A friend of mine calls.)
Me: “Hello?”
Friend: “So, you’re a nurse, right?”
Me: “I already don’t like where this is going, and I’m a student nurse. Not–”
Friend: “Okay, well, I have some gravel deep in my hand. Can I just pour some gin on it and be fine?”
(Gin also happens to be his favorite alcohol.)
Me: “What?! Hang on; how did you get gravel in your hand and how deep is it?”
Friend: “I was on my bike and some a**hole opened their car door right in front of me and I went down pretty hard. And here, let me just take a picture.”
(He sends me a picture of his hand, showing that the gravel is dug in pretty deep and firmly stuck in so rinsing it with anything won’t get it out.)
Me: “You need to get tweezers and pull out the gravel, rinse it with water, put something like Neosporin on it, and cover it with a bandaid.”
Friend: “Well, I don’t have tweezers or any of that, really.”
Me: “You live in NYC. There’s definitely some kind of drug store or corner store you can get this stuff in.”
Friend: “I don’t want to spend money on things I already have at home, so can I just pour gin on it?”
Me: *sighs* “I cannot condone this at all but rinsing it with water is probably the best option.”
Friend: “So, gin is okay?”
Me: “If you’re intent on using alcohol, use straight vodka, instead, BUT I CANNOT CONDO–”
Friend: “Okay, thanks, bye!” *hangs up*
(He texts me a picture of his hand. He has used a prong of his watch to dig out the gravel, causing himself to bleed more and making the entire area fairly red. He texts me an hour or so later.)
Friend: “The barkeeper wouldn’t just give me some vodka, so I had to buy it and go into the bathroom to rinse it. Thanks again!”
Me: “This still was not your best option and I cannot condone this behavior.”
(He never replied.)
