(My wife and I have been married twenty years and never taken a vacation for just us. We both have just recently “graduated” after going back to school to further our education for our careers. Our kids are older, allowing my father-in-law to watch them, just making sure they get hot food, and get to school and sports. Some good friends of ours get a great package deal for an all-inclusive resort in Mexico that they have been to before and want to know if we want in on the special rates. So, off we go on a seven-day trip to Mexico with some good friends. About the third day in Mexico, I am at the resort shop buying some odds and ends and have already noticed the sign that shows the exchange rates between pesos and other forms of currency they accept. I see the price tag and then do the math using the posted exchange rate. As I am paying the very polite cashier, I hear a rude woman just lose it on one of the employees.)

Rude Customer: “HOW CAN YOU CHARGE SO MUCH?! I AM NOT PAYING 95 US DOLLARS FOR THIS SHOT GLASS!”

Employee: “No, that is—”

Rude Customer: “WHAT? I DON’T UNDERSTAND! CAN’T YOU SPEAK ENGLISH?!”

Employee: “Yes, English, price is…”

Rude Customer: “SPEAK ENGLISH!”

(I have had enough.)

Me: “Ma’am, as the employee started to tell you twice in English, the sticker is the amount in pesos. The exchange rate is posted right here.” *pointing to sign next to register*

Rude Customer: “WHY WOULD IT BE IN PESOS?”

Me: *laughing* “We are in Mexico… and pesos are the currency in this country. No wonder Americans get a bad reputation for being rude.”

Rude Customer: *glaring at me and muttering* “What do you Canadians know, anyway?”

Me: “Lady, who said I am Canadian? I am from the Midwest, the heartland of the USA, and you are just being rude.”

(With that, I went and enjoyed my vacation, just wondering how someone could be so entitled and rude.)

Customer: “Hello, my router isn’t working properly.”

Me: “Okay, what lights are on?”

Customer: “The hallway and the kitchen.”

(I work at a store with around 80 to 100 total employees. In the last few months, there have been a surprising number of people missing work due to food poisoning, about 20 times in the last three or four months. Emails have been going around, with some people complaining, some passive-aggressively implying people are making it up or blowing it out of proportion, and a few of us trying to actually make lists of restaurants in the area workers might go out to eat, or where they shopped, to see trends. We get a lot of people in the store, even if they have not had food poisoning, to describe their lunch habits. Still, even with the information, nothing really seems to add up. Some of the people usually get lunch at the restaurants nearby, but none of the restaurants seem more likely than others. Sometimes it was pizza, sometimes it was people bringing leftovers that had been fine the day before, sometimes they had eaten out, sometimes they had not. None of it seems to make a lot of sense. Today, I am in our break room for lunch when I see a coworker putting a few chicken wings on a napkin into one of the two microwaves. After a moment, something clicks in my head and I look back at the microwave with chicken inside.)

Me: “Hey, [Coworker], are you cooking chicken?”

Coworker: “Yeah! [Grocery Store] sells bags of frozen wings. They make a good lunch.”

Me: “Are they precooked?”

Coworker: “No, you have to cook them. Our microwave takes forever, though.”

Me: “Okay, so, you cook the frozen wings in the microwave?”

Coworker: “Just put them in the refrigerator in the morning and they defrost by lunchtime.”

Me: “Okay, gotcha.”

(Throughout the conversation, I don’t think my coworker picks up on my disbelief, so I just sit down and watch him as he plays on his phone, occasionally checking the chicken. At the end, the napkin the wings are on is clearly soggy with something, so he grabs another paper towel and wipes off the glass tray in the microwave, then wipes off the counter where there are a few drips. He then sets the napkin down on one of the tables and eats from it. We have paper plates on hand, but he just has the wings on a napkin. Once he finishes, he throws out the bones and gets another napkin to wipe off the damp spot left on the table under his napkin, throws it out, and goes back to the sales floor.)

Me: *on a walkie-talkie* “Hey, [Manager], could you meet me in the break room, please? I might have found the cause of the recent food issues.”

(The manager gave him a talking-to, but he genuinely did not seem to understand why what he was doing was a huge health risk. We heavily sanitized the break room with bleach, and here’s hoping the food poisoning issues are done with.)

(This story happens to two friends of mine around ten years ago. One of them is a cashier at a video game store; the other has arrived at that same store to pre-order a copy of Pokémon Platinum. The cashier friend’s supervisor is there alongside them. The pick-up goes smoothly, until…)

Friend #1: “As you are pre-ordering a copy, you get a figure as a gift!”

Friend #2: “Really?”

Supervisor: “And it’s made of gelatin!”

(Both friends are confused after those words.)

Both Friends: “Of gelatin?”

(The supervisor looks for a pamphlet supporting what she said.)

Supervisor: “Yes! It says so right here. Look!”

(They look at the pamphlet that says that, with a pre-order, you get a Giratina figure.)

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina is the Pokémon’s name.”

Supervisor: “Huh?”

Friend #1: “[Supervisor], Giratina. It’s not made of gelatin.”

Supervisor: “You don’t say! I was telling everyone that we were giving away gelatin figures!”

(Before payment, we always ask customers whether they want to eat here or take their food out. We have to do that due to different taxes on takeout food.) 

Customer: *orders her meal*

Me: “Would you like to eat here or take your food out?”

Customer: “No, thanks.”

Me: *repeats question*

Customer: “NO, THANKS! I just want to eat my food in a regular way.”

Me: “I’m sure you do, but would you like to sit down or have your food wrapped and bagged?”

Customer: “NOOO!” *rolling eyes* “Just the normal thing! Regular eating! Reeeeeguuuuularrr!”

Me: “So, you want to sit down?”

Customer: “Um, no. Takeout, please.”