(I work in the copy area of a well-known retail chain. This takes place at the mailing drop-off section of the store, which I am also responsible for.)

Me: “Hello, sir! What can I help you with?”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “Um… sir? Can I help you?”

Customer: *stares*

(It is at this point I get a strong waft of cannabis smoke from the direction of the customer.)

Me: “Hello?”

Customer: “So… I had this package come to my house.” *pause*

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: *stares*

(After a lot of this, I manage to get enough responses from him to glean that he’s looking to pick up a package that was meant to be delivered to his house.)

Me: “Sir, I’m sorry, but we don’t have that service here. If your package is being held by [Packaging Service], then it would be at one of their stores, not at a drop-off. You can call them if you want to see if they have it.”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “Um… here.”

(We keep the locations of the two nearest stores on printed scraps of paper, as customers often come in for packaging services we don’t offer.)

Me: *offers him one of the slips* “Here are the two nearest stores and their phone numbers.”

Customer: *stares at the slip* “Where are those?”

Me: “Um… we keep them under the counter but you can just have this one.”

Customer: *stares, and then proceeds to reach under the counter to the stack of scraps*

Me: “Sir!” *shakes slip* “You can just have this one!”

Customer: “No…” *incomprehensible mumbling*

(After much fumbling, he pulls a slip out from the middle of the stack, spilling the ones on top of it onto the floor.)

Customer: “This one…” *stares at it*

Me: “Um… okay… Well, they should be able to help you.”

Customer: “You sure?”

Me: “Well, it’s your best bet.”

Customer: *stares*

Me: “Have a good day, sir.”

(I walked away. He stared at the spot where I had been standing for a solid three minutes before unsteadily wandering off.)

(I work at a well-known fast food chain, working in the drive-thru.)

Me: “Hello, thank you for choosing [Restaurant]. Would you like to try our [New Product] today?”

Customer: “No, I want eight nuggets!”

Me: “Well, sir, we have the six-piece and the ten-piece nuggets.”

Customer: *annoyed* “I guess the ten-piece, then!”

Me: “Would you like to make that a combo today, sir?”

Customer: *angrily* “No!”

Me: “Okay, sir, will conclude—”

Customer: “No, wait, I want fries!”

Me: “Okay, what si—”

Customer: “And a drink! Large! That’s it!”

Me: “I’m sorry, so you would like a combo, then?”

Customer: “No!”

(Then, I hear a woman’s voice:)

Woman: *to the customer* “Yes! You’re asking for a combo; just get it!”

Customer: “But I don’t want a combo; I just want the fries and the drink… Oh. Yeah, I think I would like a combo, then.”

Me: “Okay, sir, and what would you like for your drink?”

(The customer drove away from the speaker before I could finish his order and I had to finish it at the window with another car waiting at the speaker!)

(I’m a merchandiser in my store so, although I am often on the floor working, my primary job, besides helping customers, is ordering and product resets. Generally, we work as a two-person team, but my co-merchandiser is out with the flu so I am running behind trying to do all of the work by myself. As one of the many tasks associated with a seasonal reset, I am moving discontinued and discounted stock to the clearance area. One of my coworkers is somewhat ditzy and unobservant and doesn’t always clarify what’s needed when helping customers, which results in wasted time and effort for herself and customers, but sometimes for others, as well. Today is one of those days. She approaches where I am working and just stands, watching me take merchandise from my cart, scan, and print a price sticker for each item and place it on the shelf. After a couple of minutes of her watching me work…)

Me: “Hi, [Coworker], can I help you with something?”

Coworker: “Are you busy?”

Me: “No, I’m just playing around.” *then, realizing she’s serious* “Yes, I really am. Do you need something?”

Coworker: “Do you have a price gun?”

Me: *holding the price gun in one hand, applying a just-printed price sticker to the package in the other* “Yes. Yes, I most certainly have one. Why do you ask?”

Coworker: “A customer asked me to price an item. May I borrow it for a moment? I’ll bring it right back.”

(The price guns are kept in the office and the person checking them out is totally responsible for their use and return. The coworker, like some other associates, has set them down on a random shelf and walked away on more than one occasion, so I never loan mine. Usually, the associate will bring the item with them when making such a request, but she has nothing in her hands. There are several customers nearby, so I’m thinking one of them followed her.)

Me: “You know by now that I don’t loan equipment I’m responsible for. What needs to be priced; where is it? Does the customer just need to know the price, or a price sticker, too?”

Coworker: “A price sticker, I think. I already checked the price on the shelf. The customer said he’d meet me by the checkouts.”

(I reluctantly stop what I am doing and walk with my coworker to the front. The customer she was helping has gotten in line and is placing his items on the belt to be scanned.)

Coworker: “That’s him, right there. He wanted to know the price for the coffee maker.”

Coworker: *to the customer* “Sir, the price is $15.99. Would you like a price sticker on that?”

Customer: “No, I just wanted to know if this is the one on sale.”

Coworker: “Oh, yes, sir, it’s the coffeemaker in the sale flyer; you did pick up the right one.” *then to me, as she walks away* “I’m sorry. I don’t know what I was thinking.”

Me: *in my head, in addition to a few choice words that would be censored on this site* “Neither do I, [Coworker]. Neither do I.”

(I work at a well-known bakery cafe. Today, I happen to be working in the drive-thru when a customer pulls up to the speaker and orders a few bagels.)

Customer: “I want cream cheese to go with the bagel.”

Me: “We either have the two-ounce or the eight-ounce tub. Since you got multiple bagels, it would be cheaper for you to get the tub rather than three separate two-ounce containers.”

Customer: “Sounds great! I’ll take the tub.”

(I read off the order to make sure everything is correct and then give her the total, which is just a little over $6.)

Customer: “I thought a bagel and cream cheese is $2.68. Why am I being charged so much?”

Me: “You ordered three bagels and a tub of cream cheese. The tub is $2.99 and each bagel is about $1.25, which brings your total to $6.74 without tax.”

Customer: “It’s cheaper to get the smaller cream cheese, then, because it says on the sign that a bagel and cream cheese is $2.68!”

Me: “Ma’am, I assure you it’s cheaper to just get the tub. The bagel is $1.25 and the two-ounce is about $1.20 each, not including tax, and since you’re getting three bagels, it would be cheaper to get the tub and pay $2.99 instead of $1.20 for three separate containers.”

Customer: “But it says a bagel and cream cheese is $2.68.”

(I explain everything once again. By this time, there is a long line forming behind her car, and our average time is growing worse, but she still doesn’t seem to understand. Finally, after wasting nearly ten minutes, she pulls forward so that the people behind her can order. I cash her out and hand her the bag.)

Customer: “I still don’t understand why I’m being charged so much. The sign says a bagel and cream cheese is $2.68.”

Me: “As I’ve explained before, it’s less to get the tub for only $2.99 rather than pay $3.60 for three two-ounce containers. You pay less and get two extra ounces.”

Customer: “I still don’t understand…”

(She finally drove away. My coworkers started laughing and we finally managed to take care of the massive line that had formed.)

(I am working in a large grocery store packing shelves when a customer approaches me with two different brands of toilet paper in his hands.)

Customer: “Do you see these two packs of toilet roll?”

Me: “Yes?”

Customer: “Well, [Brand #1] costs 20p more than [Brand #2].”

Me: “I’m not sure of the exact prices, but I’ll take your word for it.”

Customer: “Here’s the thing. I was just over at the fruit and veg weighing scales and [Brand #2] weighs more than [Brand #1]. You get more for value for money if you buy [Brand #2]!”

(The customer is now clearly excited that he has somehow got one over on the evil corporation.)

Me: “Okay…”

Customer: *whispering* “Keep that to yourself; if the boys up above find out they’ll raise the price of [Brand #2] before you know it!”

Me: “Will do…”

This story is part of the Toilet Paper roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Relatable Stories About Housework And How To Avoid It

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