(This takes place in Spanish class. We are talking about how there are different dialects for different people, and how a lot of families in America speak more than one language because of how diverse we are. There just so happens to be an Asian student in our class. The teacher looks right at the student before saying this.)

Teacher: “[Student], what other languages does your family speak?”

(Everyone in class turns to look at the student awkwardly.)

Student: “Um, English?”

(I don’t know if the teacher realized the awkward tension or that she was being racist, but she quickly moved on with an, “Oh, just asking.” The student was embarrassed for the rest of class and the teacher did everything to avoid being near them.)

(My high school driver’s education teacher loves telling this story about a girl who graduated a few years before me. The girl is practicing driving around town while the teacher quizzes her on different signs and rules along the way.)

Teacher: “Who has the right of way if you’re turning left?”

Me: “The other car.”

Teacher: “What’s that sign; the yellow triangle with a curved arrow?”

Girl: “Sharp turn ahead.”

Teacher: “What if it has a squiggly arrow?”

Girl: “Wavy road?”

Teacher: “Okay. Let’s go down this hill here. What about that sign?”

Girl: *reads the sign aloud* “Brake retarders prohibited.” *she gasps* ” Mr. [Teacher]! That’s terrible!”

Teacher: “Why?”

Girl: “That’s racist!”

(Apparently, my teacher was so shocked he made her pull over and wouldn’t let her drive anymore. He explained what it actually meant and the girl was embarrassed, but he still couldn’t believe she had said that. And yes, she has her license.)

(I am looking for a summer job in law school and I apply to an LSAT tutoring company. They give me a Skype interview where I have to go through a practice problem as if I were teaching it to a student.)

Me: “So, do you want me to demonstrate the problem, or go through it in Socratic Method?”

(Socratic Method is where you ask the person questions so that they figure it out themselves.)

Interviewer: “Doesn’t matter to me, man.”

(I go ahead and demonstrate the problem, figuring it is a lot easier than trying to walk the interviewer through it Socratically. After I’m done, the interviewer says:)

Interviewer: “Okay, that was fine, but unfortunately we wanted you to teach it Socratically.”

Me: “Okay, but I asked you specifically at the beginning if you wanted me to, and you said I didn’t need to.”

Interviewer: “Hm… I don’t remember that.”

Me: “Well, do you want me to teach it Socratically now, then?”

Interviewer: “Meh, sure. Go ahead.”

Me: “Okay, so, starting from the beginning, what’s the first thing we need to figure out about the problem?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *slightly taken aback, I go even simpler* “Okay, so, what information do we know from the problem?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: *getting frustrated* “Okay, starting with the first sentence, what does it tell us?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

Me: “Okay, the first sentence says, ‘[Sentence],’ doesn’t it?”

Interviewer: “I don’t know.”

(The entire rest of the interview proceeded like this, with the interviewer never answering anything other than, ‘I don’t know.’ He made me basically go through the entire problem myself without making any attempt to role-play as a student, meaning that I basically just ended up demonstrating the problem all over again but much slower. I should also note that this was a tutoring position for LSAT, which means that all of the students I would have been tutoring would have at least three years of university behind them. If any of their students were as dumb as the interviewer was playing them to be, they don’t deserve to pass the LSAT.)

This story is part of the second Job Interview roundup! This is the last story in the roundup, but we have plenty of others you might enjoy!

10 Hilarious Stories About The Worst Job Interviews Ever!

Read the next Job Interview roundup story!

Read the second Job Interview roundup!

(I am in Honors French 3, and we are learning verbs that have to do with love and hate. Our teacher is trying to get us to write a story about love. This all takes place in French. Sophie and Jacques are the story’s characters.)

Teacher: “So, Jacques tries to find Sophie but he can’t, and starts crying. Then what?”

Student #1: “Sophie comes over.”

Teacher: “And asks, ‘Why are you crying?’ And he says, ‘I thought I’d never find you.’ And then what happens?”

Student #2: “Sophie kills Jacques!”

Teacher: “With what?”

Student #3: “A fork!”

Teacher: “How?”

Student #4: “She stabs him in the eye, then the ear.”

Teacher: “So, Jacques falls to the ground, and then what happens?”

Student #5: “Sophie eats Jacques!”

Teacher: “This is in a park… What do the people walking by say?”

Student #6: “They also start eating Jacques! It’s a buffet!”

(We all found this hilarious and couldn’t stop laughing. The teacher called our sense of humor macabre.)

This is a story from a few years back, when fad veganism was starting to gain traction.

At our college we had this one girl who would always hop onto whatever fad she could when they were gaining popularity. A lot of students disliked her because of her preachiness, and because it was extremely obvious that she was doing it purely for the holier-than-thou feeling, and didn’t actually believe in any of the causes she pledged to support or be into.

So, enter her vegan phase, where, day one of fall classes, she was in the cafeteria making this giant grandstand about all the positive of veganism and how it had changed her life, and so on. Everyone just kind of ignored her until she singled out a college freshmen eating a burger and proceeded to roundly mock his size — never mind that he was maybe 200 pounds — and blame it on his diet. He looked really annoyed, and a lot of the other people were really uncomfortable at her doing that to him.

Cue the day immediately after, where she did it again, but this time went up to him and started angrily reprimanding him for daring to eat meat in her presence, making her uncomfortable, and being insensitive to her diet. Without missing a single beat, he pulled the bun off and flung the meat patty dead center at her forehead, leaving a nice greasy stain for everyone to see. She paused for a minute, shrieked like a banshee, and ran out of the cafeteria crying. Campus security showed up a few minutes later, responding to a report of an “assault,” trying to stifle their laughter. They gave him a verbal slap on the wrist for it because he really didn’t do any harm and they were tired of her, too. She didn’t bother him again.

As an aside: a month afterward she was back to eating meat and processed food. Turns out she hopped into veganism without doing even the slightest bit of research, and malnourished herself into the hospital.