A Bit Young To Be So Off-Color

, , , | Right | December 14, 2011

(I am a kindergarten teacher, and I’m meeting a student for the first time.)

Me: “What is your favorite color?”

Five-Year-Old: “Stool.”

Me: “Let’s try that again…”


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Love’s Languages’s Lost

, , , , , , | Romantic | December 6, 2011

(I am a Japanese teacher. I am presiding over homeroom. A female student, who had a pretty serious fight with her boyfriend in the hall before homeroom, is intently writing on a piece of paper.)

Student: “Ugh, I can’t do this anymore!”

(She throws down her pen and calls up to me.)

Student: “Love is too hard!”

Me: “Well, I know it always seems that way after having a fight. But, you know, people have disagreements all the time and work through them. Besides, you’re still young, and part of this age is discovering how to be in a relationship with others. I am sure he is just as upset as you are.”

(She looks at me quizzically and then holds up the paper she is working on.)

Student: “I meant trying to write it in Japanese for your homework.”

Me: “Oh. Yeah. That can be hard, too.”


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For Some, Reading Is Total Kabul

, , , , , , | Right | May 29, 2011

Patron: “I need some books on Afghanistan.”

Me: “Okay, I can show you where that section is in the non-fiction.”

(I lead the patron over. There are several books on the subject.)

Patron: “So are these, like, books you have to read? Because my school library had some of those, but it’s not what I wanted.”


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Students Don’t Hit The Books Like They Used To

, , , , , , | Right | May 18, 2011

(It is the first week of classes, so the book store is absolutely packed.)

Student: “Can you help me?”

Me: “Of course. What do you need?”

(The student hands me her book list.)

Student: “Find all of these for me.”


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Jane Ey-re-animation

, , , , , , , | Right | April 19, 2011

(It’s the end of the summer. A high-school-aged customer comes in.)

Customer: “Hi, I’m looking for Frankenstein by ‘J somebody’.”

Me: “Actually, that was written by Mary Shelley. We have several copies.”

Customer: “No, it’s written by ‘J somebody’. Look it up.”

(I look it up. It’s definitely written by Mary Shelley.)

Customer: “Hang on, I’ll call my mom.”

(He comes back.)

Customer: “It’s Frankenstein by Jane Eyre.”

Me: “Sorry, sweetheart, looks like you have to read two books.”

Customer: “Aw, man!”


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