(I major in Latin and Ancient Greek. There are only three people in the class, and as a result, we know each other well and joke a lot. At this point, we have a student teacher who is being supervised by our regular teacher. We are still getting used to the student teacher, and he is still getting used to us, as we are his first class. We are declining Greek nouns at the blackboard from memory, and I accidentally mess up the order of them:)

Student Teacher: *to me* “Do you remember the correct order?”

Me: “No. Otherwise, I would have done it right.”

(I didn’t mean to say it out loud. Everyone laughed, including the student teacher and me. Things were much less awkward afterward.)

Related:
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 5
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 4
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 3
Ask A Stupid Question…, Part 2
Ask A Stupid Question…

(I am at a teacher’s college in a Classroom Management course.)

Professor: “This is a list of the 40 most common ways students act out or can be disruptive in class. There is one technique you can use to prevent 80% of these. Can anyone guess what that is?”

(I’m seated in the front row, and this comment comes out louder than I intended.)

Me: “Murder.”

Professor: “What?! No! Not murder! Engagement! Engage a student’s attention and they’ll be too occupied to misbehave!”

(She continues the lesson for two more minutes or so before suddenly saying:)

Professor: “How does murder only solve 80% of that list, anyway? What about the other 20%?”

I’m a preschool teacher working at a screening. This means we are testing preschool-age children to see if they qualify for our public preschool program.

Part of the testing asks the children to stand on one leg. I’m working with a little girl and tell her, “Now, stand on one foot, please,” while also demonstrating for her.

She gives me a confused face. Then, she slowly walks toward me and stands on my foot. I guess I needed to be more specific about which foot to stand on!

(I am working with my fourth-grade cub scouts on an outdoor activity involving cooking over an open fire, building emergency shelters, and learning the “Leave No Trace” principles for being in the wild.)

Me: “The first principle of Leave No Trace is, ‘Know before you go.’ What do you think that means?”

(The kids scratch their heads for a moment. Then, one of them pipes up.)

Kid #1: “Be careful where you go to the bathroom?”

(I just lose it laughing for about five minutes before I explain that it means to know what conditions you are going to encounter, make sure you are prepared, etc. After I recover, we go on to the second principle:)

Me: “The next principle is, ‘Choose the right path.’”

Kid #2: “To pee on?”

(I tried to steer things away from the bathroom. But the next two were, “Trash your trash,” and, “Leave what you find,” which, of course, the kids also managed to turn into bathroom references. I tried so, so hard to be the serious adult here. I really did. But I had to sit down and laugh while facepalming for about five minutes straight. My scouts are a great source of entertainment.)

(We are in school discussing current events, specifically the fact that our state’s governor resigned earlier today.)

Teacher: “Did everyone hear what happened to [Governor]?”

Student #1: “He resigned.”

Teacher: “Does anyone know why?”

Student #2: “He was involved in a prostitution scandal.”

Teacher: “Correct.”

Student #3: “Wait? He was a prostitute?”

(No, silly, he was the client.)