No ID, No Idea, Part 6

, , , | Right | April 7, 2011

(I work at an on-campus location. Students can pay for food with meal accounts using their student IDs.)

Customer: “I don’t have my ID. Can I just give you my number?”

Me: “Sure. I’ll just need another form of picture ID.”

(The customer pulls out a credit card.)

Me: “Oh, would you like to pay with this instead?”

Customer: “No, that’s my ID.”

Me: “I’m sorry, ma’am. I need a picture ID.”

(The customer takes the credit card back, and hands me another credit card.)

Me: “A picture ID, ma’am.”

Customer: “Well, all these cards have my name on them! That proves they’re mine!”

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To Make Up His Mind, He Would Need To Have One First

, , , , , | Right | March 11, 2011

(A student is buying books. After I ring up his total, he pulls out a card.)

Me: “Would you like your card run as credit or debit?”

Student: “Which account do I want to use? Credit comes out of your savings account, right?”

(I give a quick explanation of the difference between credit and debit. During this time the student has swiped his card through the machine, and followed the automatic prompts to charge his card as debit.)

Student: “Okay. In that case, I do credit.”

Me: “Sir, you just finished running it as debit.”

Student: “Oh, right, okay.”

Me: “Would you like a bag?”

Student: “No. Wait, yes. No!”

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How To Kill ‘To Kill A Mockingbird’

, , , , , , , | Right | July 29, 2010

(A teenage girl and her mother enter the store and walk over to the counter.)

Me: “Hello, can I help you with something?”

Teen: “Yeah, like, do you have, like, To Kill a Mockingbird?”

Me: “Yes, we do. If you could follow me, please.”

(I lead them to the book’s location, where we have two different copies.)

Teen: “Mom, pick the smaller one!”

Mother: “Honey, you know that doesn’t make the story shorter, right?”

Teen: “Oh.”

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Sharing Ones Loss

, , , , , | Right | July 2, 2010

(Students are required to show their student ID cards when borrowing a book. Two students walk up to the front desk.)

Student #1: “Hi, I’d like to borrow this book for my friend here.” *hands me their student ID card*

Me: “If your friend would like that book, then she needs to bring her own ID card and borrow it herself. I can’t let you borrow it for her in case she causes any damage or loses it.”

Student #1: “Oh. But she’s very responsible. She wouldn’t damage or lose it.”

(I turn to the second student.)

Me: “Where is your student ID card?”

Student #2: “I lost it.”

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Limping Through College

, , , , , , , | Right | June 11, 2010

Customer: “Can you help me find the book for my class?”

Me: “Sure. Do you have your course schedule?”

Customer: “Uh, no. Why?”

Me: “They tell me what books are needed for each class.”

Customer: “Cool.”

Me: “So, I need to know what class you’re taking.”

Customer: *blank stare*

Me: “English, math, physics, biology? If you can tell me what the course is, we might be able to find it that way.”

Customer: “Sorry, dude. I’m new to this whole college thing.”

Me: “How about your professor’s name? We’ve got quite a few professors that only teach one class.”

Customer: “My class is at night. Wednesdays, I think. And my teacher is a lady, with a limp.”

Me: *Looking at a course card.* “I found it! Wednesday nights, with the lady who limps.”

Customer: “Bro, you’re a lifesaver.”

Me: “I was kidding.”

Customer: “So, that’s not my book, then?”


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