(I am a teacher. Every time I see one of my students, he will come to me with a story about a new way he has injured himself: he has fallen down the stairs, he has cut his fingers, he got injured playing hockey, etc. For the record, I think he is just very clumsy; I don’t see any other signs of abuse, or anything.)

Me: *jokingly* “So, have you ever seen Final Destination? Because this is what all your stories sound like!”

Student: *eyes widened* “Uh, I find it quite unsettling that you said that; I survived a shipwreck when I was five years old!”

(Oh, I don’t think I will joke about “Final Destination” ever again.)

(I’ve always been very nerdy and a lot of my friends have also been nerds, which is not always easy on our poor teachers. When I’m in middle school, my friend and I come to our science teacher to resolve something we’ve been arguing about for almost two days straight.)

Me: *walks into the classroom with my friend* “Hi, [Science Teacher].”

Science Teacher: “Hey, [My Name], hey, [Friend].”

Friend: “Can you answer a question for us?”

Science Teacher: “Sure. What’s your question?”

Me: “If you cloned yourself, would that clone be more like your sibling or your child? I think it’d be more like your child and [Friend] thinks it’d be more like a sibling.”

Science Teacher: *looks at us, clearly questioning the sanity of these two little nerd girls* “Probably sibling, since they’re still a mix of your parents’ DNA.”

Friend: “I told you!”

(I still wonder what exactly was going through his head when we asked that question.)

(It is finals time and the library is, of course, packed with people trying to study. I’m in the basement of the library where there a few desks that have electrical outlets so you can charge your computer. I am sitting at a desk in the corner studying when another student approaches me.)

Student: “Excuse me, but are you studying?”

(I say nothing but I gesture to my open textbook, notes, and study guide on my computer.)

Student: “Okay, sorry to bother you.”

(Later on, I saw what was so important that he needed a desk: he was playing “Super Smash Brothers” on his Switch.)

(It’s the first class of term and the lecturer is going over course requirements, end-of-term exam, etc. This is history, my favourite topic ever, and the lecturer and I know each other well from previous classes and are on very good terms. He is also lenient to a fault.)

Me: “So, those worksheets that are requirements. How many do we have to hand in?”

Lecturer: “If you hand in the majority, you’re fine.”

Me: “Right, and what do you mean by ‘majority’? Like, let’s say there’s ten; how many out of ten do we have to hand in?”

(I am expecting something like eight or nine.)

Lecturer: “Oh, let’s say… six out of ten.”

Me: *incredulous and mock-accusingly* “Seriously?! You are far too nice!”

Lecturer: “All right, you, and only you will have to hand in every single one!”

Me: *laughing* “Challenge accepted!”

(Later in the same class:)

Student: “Wait, there’s an exam? I thought it was a paper!”

Lecturer: “No, it’s definitely an exam, because I was very annoyed at having to make an exam.”

Everyone: *various noises of relief*

Me: “Am I the only one who would actually prefer a paper?”

Lecturer: “Yes. Yes, you are.”

Me: “Bummer.”

Lecturer: “All right, so, you alone will have to write a paper!”

(Later still. The question is how many languages were spoken in the British Isles during the early Middle Ages, c. 600 AD.)

Me: “Well, it really depends on what you define as ‘language.’”

Lecturer: “That’s two papers for you now!”

For my freshman year and first half of my sophomore year of high school, our campus has no air conditioning save for two rooms: the auditorium and one staff office. We have a few unusually hot, humid days near the start of my freshman year. The temperatures climb high enough that a lot of sports games are canceled and even classes let out for a few days. We receive emails about keeping cool and staying hydrated to avoid heat exhaustion.

One afternoon, I’m sitting in my art class when, out of nowhere, an ice cream truck jingle plays over the loudspeaker. We students look at each other in confusion for a few seconds before an upperclassman wheels a school lunch cart through the classroom door… stacked high with boxes of popsicles.

Upperclassmen were going around the school, distributing carts full of popsicles to every class so we could cool down a little bit. I have no idea how they set up the music over the loudspeaker, but it was certainly a good way to weather a hot day.

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