I regularly have to go to hospital for eye checks, and my husband usually comes with me. On one of the appointments, I had to fill in a standard diversity form. I went in for my appointment, and my husband stayed in the waiting room, where he overheard an old lady and her daughter discussing the form. The daughter was reading the form out to the old lady and filling it in depending on the old lady’s answers.

He told me afterward that one answer caught his attention.

Daughter: “What sexual orientation do you identify as, Mother?”

Old Lady: “Er… What are the options?”

Daughter: “You’re heterosexual, aren’t you?”

Old Lady: *Indignant* “No, I am not! I like MEN!”

I come home one Sunday to find that I have not got my key. A nearby relative has a spare, but I can’t get hold of them. A friend also has a spare but it turns out they are on holiday. I ring around and visit everywhere I’ve been all day, and I search the car and car parks — everywhere I parked or walked. Nothing.

Eventually, I call an emergency locksmith, and a few hundred pounds later, I’m inside and have a new lock.

A few days later, someone posts online that they found some keys — my keys. I reach out to them so I can collect the keys and we meet at a public place.

Me: “Thanks for this.”

Woman: “Oh, that’s okay. I know how annoying it is to lose keys.”

Me: “Where were they, by the way?”

Woman: “Oh, [Supermarket], just by the entrance.”

Why didn’t she just hand them in to the supermarket?! I left my number there and could have spared us both the trouble of meeting out of the way. But whatever, at least I have my other keys.

Me: “That makes sense; I was there when I lost them. Crazy, I swore I looked there just after I lost them. Maybe someone kicked them out of the way.”

Woman: “Oh, no. They were right in the doorway. I must have been there just before you came back.”

Wait. She had these for two days, didn’t hand them in, didn’t do anything until today, and cost me hundreds of pounds and worry?

Me: “Okay, well, thanks. Maybe next time, just hand them in to the shop?”

Woman: “Oh, no. I would rather sort it out myself. I like to see people happy collecting their lost things.”

My face was not a happy one. I tried to explain that she would have been better just leaving them there if she wasn’t going to do the right thing. She just called me ungrateful.

I am travelling on the bus from Vancouver to Seattle. As I am getting on the bus, I see another traveller rock up who immediately looks suspicious. He’s arrived with zero luggage and looks far too relaxed. Something about his body language and demeanour looks funny, and a couple of travellers even mention the fact he has no luggage. I put this down to me just being paranoid and decide that as long as he’s not causing trouble I’ll pay him no mind.

When we get to the US/Canada border, his demeanour immediately changes. He appears a little more jittery and nervous and begins to pace around. Immediately, one of the US border agents takes notice. 

Border Agent: “Hey, sir… Are you all right? Why are you pacing around so much?”

The guy tries to ignore him.

Border Agent: “Sir… why are you pacing around?”

The guy then gives him an extremely arrogant sneer and shrugs. Instantly, all of us can tell this was a dumb move! 

Border Agent: “Come with me, please, sir!”

He gestures for him to follow, but the guy remains rooted to the spot.

Border Agent: “Sir, come this way immediately!”

The guy very sheepishly followed him into the building. When we left the border, the guy wasn’t on the bus. I have no idea what he was doing, but I have a feeling it was illicit. The lesson here when dealing with border agents: don’t be that guy!

I am in the swimming pool when I want to know what the time is. I look up at a woman passing by.

Me: “Excuse me. What’s the time?”

Woman: “There’s a clock up there, millennial.” *Sneers* “Read it.”

She’s referring to an analog clock. She then walks off.

Nearby Man: “It’s 3:45 pm.”

Me: “Thanks.”

When I got out of the pool, I saw the woman again. She paled when she saw the giant, coke-bottle glasses on my face.

I’m walking in the city when a woman stops me. Through broken English, she explains she is new to the country and lost. She doesn’t want money but does ask if I can walk her to the bus station. She seems quite helpless and nice, so I start to walk with her, but before I know it, I’m surrounded and feel very vulnerable. 

Me: “The bus station is just down there.”

I pick up speed.

Woman: “Wait, walk with me some more.”

Me: “Nope.”

The others start to pick up speed, too. Clearly, this is a setup for pickpocketing or worse. I run toward a shop and dart inside. They call the police and, to my surprise, the group waits outside.

The police arrive and they speak to the group before coming inside.

Police: “I’m told that you took something from that woman and ran off.”

Me: “Is that what they told you? No, they started to follow me. I think it was a pickpocket scam.”

Police: “They allege you took money and jewellery.”

Me: “I doubt they gave you any description. Keep things vague, huh?”

Police: “I’m just telling you the information they gave me. Do you have any cash or jewellery on you?”

Me: “No, I don’t carry cash on me. And the only jewellery I have is my wedding ring, but look: it’s inscribed.”

I take off my ring and show it to him. He hands it back to me and tells me to stay inside. He speaks to the crowd, and when backup arrives, they arrest all of them that don’t run off. I head back outside.

Me: “So…”

Police: “We have everything we need.”

Me: “Do I need to give a statement or anything?”

Police: “Please do when you next have a chance to, but it’s unlikely we will be able to bring any charges against them on that front.”

Me: “But you’re arresting them anyway?”

Police: “Oh, yes. They gave fake names; however, the fake names were already wanted. Luckily, one of the officers recognised them and we believe them to be wanted on a number of other charges.”

Me: “Not the brightest criminals.”

Police: “And yet far from the worst. Stay safe.”