I was loading up my groceries after my weekly shopping trip. I was in the space behind my car, loading them into my trunk, when another car suddenly pulled up to pull into the space, immediately slamming on her horn.

Now, this was unusual, because the parking lot was half-empty. In point of fact, the spots on both sides of my car and both sides of the space I was standing in were all empty. There were also at least a dozen spaces further down the row, closer to the store, that were also all empty. So, this lady ignored all of those empty spots, deliberately drove up to the spot I was in, and then honked her horn at me.

No, I’m not playing that game. After glancing up at her and seeing her waving her arms at me, I turned around and went right back to loading my things into my trunk. She laid on her horn again and then leaned out the window.

Woman: “Ya need to move!”

Me: *Firing back* “You need to f*** all the way off!”

She jerked back like I’d walked over and slapped her. After a few moments of her just sitting there, she pulled back and then sped off down the row, fishtailing a bit as she went, before sloppily pulling into one of the spaces further down the way. She climbed out of her car, hiked up her purse, and then turned as if to stomp over toward me.

However, she immediately spotted me pushing my cart toward her. In truth, I’d finished loading up and was pushing my cart over to the return stall, which just happened to be in the direction of her car. The moment she made eye contact with me and saw me approaching, she practically tripped over herself spinning around and scurrying toward the store.

It is 2012, and I am heading downtown with a good buddy. He is blind — obviously so, as he uses a red and white cane. He has told me before that he often gets stopped by religious folks who want to pray over him, but I have never seen this happen until now.

We are waiting for the train, and he is standing next to me, holding his cane with one hand and lightly touching my elbow with the other.

I see a stranger who is apparently making a beeline for us. He is neatly dressed in a suit and is wearing a very large wooden cross.

Stranger: “Oh, you poor, poor boy!”

He suddenly reaches out without warning and puts both hands on my friend’s head.

Stranger: “Oh, Lord! See this poor blind boy! I implore you to heal him and give him sight so that he might see the glory of your creation, in Jesus’ name, amen!”

He pauses, obviously waiting for an “amen” or something from us. I am flabbergasted at this whole situation.

My friend lets go of my elbow, reaches out, and grabs the stranger’s coat sleeve.

Friend: *Shouting* “Oh, Lord, see this pushy, obnoxious a**hole who thinks he knows better than anyone! So what if I am blind? You made me that way! This jerk didn’t even bother asking if I wanted to be healed! He just assumed! Oh, Lord, I implore you to smite him, so that he might learn the error of his ways!”

I am dying laughing. The stranger looks a mixture of furiously embarrassed and massively pissed off. The people standing around us are also pointing and laughing. The stranger yanks his sleeve out of my friend’s grip and runs off. There is a smattering of applause.

Friend: *To me* “That kind of stuff used to really embarrass me and piss me off, and I didn’t know what to do about it. Then, I realized that it was way more fun to try and turn the tables and embarrass them.”

There’s a long pause.

Friend: “I am not religious, by the way. It just seems to work better if I pretend that I am. I figure that eventually, word will get around and they will leave me alone.”

I go to a nearby gas station that also made sandwiches and hoagies. At this place, you have to use a touchscreen monitor to place your order; you can’t just go up to an employee and say what you want.

I walk in and I stand near the counter, thinking about what kind of hoagie I should get. I see an older man at one of the monitors. He seems to be frustrated, based on the way he is aggressively tapping on the screen. After a moment, he gives up and sighs with annoyance before going to a different one.

I am curious if the monitor is broken, so I go up to it and try to use it. It turns out that someone has just changed the language on the program from English to Spanish. I didn’t even know you could change the language, and I don’t know Spanish, so I also decide to move to a different monitor. The older man is now next to me on a different monitor, and he notices that I tried to use it after him. He chuckles.

Man: “You tried it, too?”

Just trying to be friendly, I laugh back.

Me: “Yeah, I thought maybe it was broken or something, but then I was just like, ‘Oh, it’s in Spanish!’”

Man: *Chuckles* “I bet one of those illegal aliens did it!”

I was so shocked and didn’t know what to say, so I just didn’t reply to him. I silently finished placing my order and went on with my day. I wish I had said something to him, but I tend to freeze up a bit when talking to someone older than me.

I’ve just left work and am walking to the exit of the mall. Where I work, we don’t have uniforms. We’re allowed to wear whatever we want as long as the clothing is workplace appropriate and is of a certain colour code. In other words, it isn’t immediately obvious where I work just from the clothes I’m wearing, especially since I’ve now got my scarf and large winter coat on, as well as my mask.

I’m just reaching the doors to the mall when a man coming the other way looks at me and his eyes light up.

Man: “Oh, my God, hi! I haven’t seen you in ages!”

Me: “…”

Man: “How have you been? You look incredible!”

At this point, the only conclusion I can come to is that he’s mistaking me for somebody else; I know for a fact that I’ve never seen this man before in my life. He’s addressing me as though we’re lifelong friends, his tone upbeat and enthusiastic, and I almost feel a little bad for a moment.

Me: “Um… I’m so sorry, but do I know you?”

Man: *Still completely chipper and upbeat* “No, you don’t know me. I just know where you work!”

Cue alarm bells. Unsure of how to respond, I think I simply walked right past and out of the building before he could say another word. I know he probably didn’t intend to come off that way, but how did he think that would sound anything other than creepy? To my knowledge, I’ve never seen him at work since.

I have been out partying with a couple of friends. It is a late winter night, without snow, and it’s very cold. As I am making my way along the street, a few guys go past, dressed only in T-shirts and jeans, and one starts talking to me.

Tourist: “Hi! We’re tourists; it is our first time in Sweden. It is really cold here!”

Me: “Yes, it is in the middle of winter.”

Tourist: “But there is no snow. We were hoping to see some nice snow.”

Me: “There isn’t always snow, especially not in the city, but there was snow last week.”

Tourist: “I didn’t think it would be this cold, though.”

Me: “But you went to Sweden in the middle of the winter and expected to see snow?”

Tourist: “Yeah.”

Me: “You should dress up more. Did you not bring any jackets or sweaters?”

Tourist: “No, that’s not cool to wear!”

He actually laughs at it, as if it would be silly, while I’m standing there in a warm coat, gloves, and a thick scarf.

Me: “No, it’s warm.”

He just shook his head and caught up to his friends. I hope they did not fall asleep outside, as I’m not sure they’d been warned about that.