Flee Before Biker Santa Claus

, , , , , | Friendly | July 30, 2020

When I was in middle school, my mother moved from Florida to Vermont to live with my step-father. My parents worked out an arrangement where I would visit her over long school holidays several times a year, flying as an unaccompanied minor.

I am, and always have been, the sort of person who is happy to have random conversations with strangers, so I would end up with a “plane buddy” by the end of every flight.

One such temporary friend was a — presumably — nice middle-aged man with whom I had chatted back and forth with for the entire three-hour flight about nothing much at all. We were leaving the terminal and walking together towards the baggage claim when I spotted my step-dad at the terminal entrance waiting for me.

I happily pointed and said, “There’s my step-dad!”

But by the time I turned back around, my companion had vanished.

When I asked my step-dad what happened, he said he saw me pointing and the man with me took one look at him, turned pale as a sheet, and then fled the other way.

I should point out that my step-father is a massive man whose appearance is best described as “biker Santa Claus,” and he is twice as strong as he looks. I have no idea if that guy had any unsavory intentions or if he was just afraid he would be accused of such, but I did get a light scolding from my step-dad about being too trusting of random men in airports.

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This Smells Reasonable To Us

, , , , , | Friendly | July 29, 2020

I spot a couple around my age in the deodorant aisle of a store. The man is clearly embarrassed. 

The woman with him is picking up deodorants, taking off the caps, sniffing very deeply, staring at them intently for a few seconds, and then replacing the caps and putting them back. She repeats this several times. Judging from the man’s reaction, she’s been doing this for a while.

He looks at me with a withering look. I decide to have a bit of fun.

I pick up a nearby deodorant and copy her. As I’m sniffing deeply, I glance at the man, who gives a shocked look that clearly says, “THEY ALL DO IT!” before running out of the aisle. 

I leave her to finish sniffing in peace.

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Stuck In The Lot, Stuck In The Fifties

, , , , , , , | Friendly | July 26, 2020

I am female, which seems to play a part in this story.

Heading from the store to my car, I heard a man ask another man for a jumpstart. I slowed down in case [Man #2] said no.

[Man #2] answered, “I can’t do that. It will drain my battery.”

[Man #1] and I just stared as he walked away. 

I then turned to [Man #1] and said, “That’s not how it works.” 

He nodded.

I offered to help and told him I had jumper cables in the back of my car.

He refused my offer because, “Girls don’t know nuthin’ ’bout cars.”

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It Takes An A**hole To Know An A**hole

, , , , | Friendly | July 24, 2020

My brother and I are returning from vacation and are waiting for our luggage to come off the plane. We, like literally everyone else, are standing at the carousel where the luggage comes down. We happen to be standing at the end of the carousel closest to where people disembark, so there is a large crowd of people waiting and walking past.

Despite that, everyone is waiting patiently as the luggage begins to arrive. I even help an old woman whose luggage is stuck in a pile.

Then, as we’re waiting, I hear a man behind us say loudly:

Man: “Inconsiderate.”

Not realizing he is apparently talking about us, we continue waiting. A few seconds later:

Man: “I can’t believe how inconsiderate some people are. A**holes.”

He shoves me aside and stands where I was standing.

Me: “Hey!”

Man: “Well, if it’s okay for you to stand here and block everyone, it’s okay for me to do it, too!”

Me: “What?”

Man: “You’re just standing in everyone’s way, blocking it so only you can get your luggage!”

Brother: “It’s a carousel. You can stand anywhere and get your luggage.”

Man: “You guys are just inconsiderate a**holes. You’d better hope your luggage doesn’t go past me because I’m not getting out of the way for you.”

Me: “Okay, well, we’re going to go stand literally anywhere else because it’s a carousel and we can do that. This clearly means more to you.”

We went and stood on the other side while he continued to rant and steam about us. We actually wound up getting our luggage first because we’d moved closer to the start of the belt, and we got out of there before the security guards who were watching decided to get involved!

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Not All Sidewalk Salesmen In NYC Are Scammers… Who Knew?

, , , , , , , , | Working | July 22, 2020

I am a British tourist visiting New York City. I get stopped in the street by a man giving away tickets to “The David Letterman Show.” Thinking this sounds interesting, I decide to get a ticket.

Man: “Okay, I just need to ask you one question.”

Me: “Sure.”

Man: “What colour is the announcer’s hair?”

I pause. I have no idea!

Me: *Disappointed* “I don’t know. The show isn’t broadcast in the UK so I haven’t a clue, I’m afraid.”

Man: “Oh, that’s a shame. Tell you what. I like you, so if you just take a look at that red car over there…”

Me: *Catching on, laughing* “Oh, could it possibly be red?”

Man: “Correct! See, I knew you knew it! Here’s your ticket for tonight’s show!”

Me: “Thanks!”

I went to the recording, expecting the guest to be some sportsman or soap star I’d never heard of, but the guest turned out to be Bruce Willis! So, I got to tease my friend back home who is a big fan of “Die Hard” that Bruce Willis had been in the same room as me! It was a very enjoyable show and I was so thankful to that man for helping me out!

This story is part of our New York City roundup!

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