Just Take Your Wrong Number And Go

, , , | Friendly | March 26, 2021

I am working at home with a lot of deadlines in hand. I use a mobile hotspot to connect to the Internet and my work relies on it. Whenever someone calls my phone, the hotspot connection turns off automatically, stopping me from doing work.

One day, I receive a call from an unknown caller. Thinking that it might be my client, I pick up.

Caller: “Hello, Mrs. [Other Name]?”

Me: “No, sorry. Who is this?”

Caller: “Do you have anyone in your house that goes by [Other Name]?”

Me: “No, I don’t, sorry. You’ve got the wrong number.”

As I am going to hang up, she stops me.

Caller: “Then who am I speaking to? What’s your name?”

Me: “I don’t see why you should know my name. I’ve told you, you’ve got the wrong number. I don’t know anyone by that name. Now please terminate the call; you are disturbing my work.”

Caller: “Why are you so upset that I want to know your information?”

Me: “Because I’m not your client whatsoever, and that is private information that I would not share with a stranger like you. You also did not answer when I asked you who you are, right?”

She continued to rant, so I terminated the call and tracked her number on an app to see who she was. Turns out, she was a debt collector for an online credit company. I still don’t understand why she needed my name, even though I clearly stated that she had gotten a wrong number.

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At Least They’re Being Safe!

, , , , | Friendly | March 23, 2021

I’m at a store buying things for a weekend away with my girlfriend. I stock up on condoms, soda, snacks, lotion, sunscreen, and, as an afterthought, I grab some pads because her period is irregular.

When I go through the line, I’m given the occasional odd look, which I ignore, until I feel a tap on my shoulder. 

Woman: “Aren’t you a teenager? What are you doing with condoms? Put them back!”

Me: “First of all, I’m twenty-five. Secondly, it’s none of your business what I buy with my own money.” 

Woman: *Turns tomato red* “What about these pads? You don’t need pads; you’re a boy!” 

Me: “But my girlfriend’s not a boy.” 

The woman shut up.


This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup! This is the last story in this roundup, but if you’d like to read more of our favorite stories, you can always check out February’s roundup next!

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Wild Times With Wiggles

, , , | Friendly | March 21, 2021

I’m walking down a lane I take home that has houses on one side and a grassy park with a lot of trees on the other side. I travel down there every day with zero issues, but today I encounter an unattended boxer dog. I’ve never encountered this dog, so have no idea where it lives and even if it lives down this lane. It’s also an unknown dog to me and I’m a stranger to it, so it may be aggressive. I stop a little distance away from it.

For some reason, I adopt that cutesy voice people use when they talk to dogs.

Me: “Well, hello there.”

The dog wags its entire body in happiness.

Me: “I don’t think you should be out here all by yourself, should you?”

The dog keeps on wagging.

Me: “Where’s your mummy or daddy, then?”

I hear a disembodied woman’s voice coming from a house.

Woman: “OH, S***! WHERE IS HE?!”

Me: *To the dog* “There’s your mummy!” *Calling out* “Excuse me, you missing a boxer?”

The woman appears, having just left her back garden.

Woman:Yes! I’m so sorry! I know he’s big but he’s a sweetie. People make him waggle with joy!”

It turned out that they’d just moved to the area and that Wiggles — the dog — was able to jump the fence. They quickly had a new, higher fence in place.


This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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I Bust The Windows Out Your Car

, , , , , , , | Friendly | March 15, 2021

There is a waterfront trail near where I live which has a large breakwater along the side of it made from compacted flat stones. The flat stones are a lot of fun to build with and people often build Inukshuks — traditionally indigenous stone people — from the stones.

One night, I am walking along the trail and I see a guy get off his bike and climb onto the breakwater to build an Inukshuk. A few minutes later, a big black truck drives up and parks illegally in front of the breakwater. The truck is huge, freshly washed, and left running the whole time. 

Out hops a skinny guy in a black T-shirt and camo pants. He climbs up on the breakwater and starts kicking over the Inukshuks people have built on it. When he sees the other man building an Inukshuk, [Camo Pants] walks up to him and kicks it over, right as the man is bent over trying to put one of the rocks in place, nearly kicking the other man in the face in the process.

The guy straightens up and looks at camo pants.

Guy: “Hey, man, you just trying to be a d**k?”

Camo Pants: “Yep!”

The guy looks at the large square stone in his hands.

Guy: “Funny. Me, too.”

And the guy threw the large stone as hard as he could through the windshield of [Camo Pants]’s truck, hopped on his bike, and took off.


This story is part of our Best Of March 2021 roundup!

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Keep On Truckin’, Girl!

, , , , , , | Friendly | March 14, 2021

I’m taking a walk, going a little slow because I’m still recovering from an ankle injury, and I start crossing the street — admittedly jaywalking — right as a small convertible, roof down in the sunny weather, pulls up from a cross-street and gets ready to turn. A truck pulls up behind her after a few seconds and honks almost immediately, since she’s waiting for me, and I almost feel guilty about my slow pace until the young lady in her little car twists around to glare at him.

Lady: “There’s a pedestrian! Quit acting like an a**hole!”

Truck Driver: “Hey, watch your mouth! I could run right over you.”

Lady: “So, do it, then!”

The truck driver didn’t seem to know how to respond, and with a flip of her ponytail, the girl turned back and started moving, since I was finally out of the way.

I don’t usually enjoy road rage, but something about that young woman in her tiny car chewing him out without hesitation and calling his bluff just tickled me that day!

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