Sometimes Instant Karma Is A Good Thing

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 15, 2020

My husband has been out of work for three months due to a broken shoulder but cannot claim unemployment due to his contract at work. He should be getting half pay during this time, but due to mountains of red tape, we haven’t seen a penny yet, and my income just barely covers our house, gas money for me to go to work, and keeping one of our phones on. Utility and medical bills have gone unpaid, and any extra money at all would help.

Yesterday, I went outside to smoke at work — I’m a fast-food manager — and found a wallet in the drive-thru with over $100 inside. I knew I wasn’t on camera and I knew how badly I needed any money I could get, but I just didn’t have it in me to steal like that. I took it inside, rifled through it until I found an emergency contact number, called to ask that contact person to let the owner know where to come to retrieve the wallet — the owner hadn’t even noticed yet that they’d lost it! — and put it in the safe.

When the gentleman came to retrieve it later, I told him his cards might be out of order due to my pulling them all out looking for a way to get in touch with him, but that all the contents — cash and credit cards included — were still there. His response?

“Oh, that’s okay. I’ll reorganize them.”

Yeah, sir. I found your wallet, took time out of my day to try to let you know where to retrieve it, and returned it to you without so much as one dollar missing, and you can’t so much as say, “Thank you.”?

I was peeved, to say the least, but I figured Karma would work it out in the end.

Tonight, my husband made a few bucks giving people rides, so we treated ourselves to stopping at the bar and splitting a small pitcher. We checked the electronic gambling machines and saw there were some big hits left in two of them, put one dollar in each, and cashed out for $76. He then put $20 into another machine and cashed out for $125.

I gave back someone else’s $100 yesterday and walked away tonight with $179 profit. Yeah, karma is 110% real.

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I Would Isolate, But I NEEDED That Latte!

, , , , , | Friendly | September 13, 2020

The Internet at my house has broken, so while I’m waiting for a tech, I go to a coffee shop as I have work I need to complete. It’s not ideal but there’s no other option. I sit well away from other people by the door with a mask.

Another man is working in the same place and having a very loud phone conversation.

Loud Man: “Yeah, yeah. No, I can’t because I’m supposed to be isolating.”

Me: *Internally* “Wait, what?”

Loud Man: “Yeah, I woke up this morning feeling a bit croaky. It does make you worry. I’m probably okay; I guess it’s just a sniffle.”

I left to find a different coffee shop.

What the f***, dude? If you’re supposed to stay home, please, God, stay home.

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Talk About Spoiled!

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 12, 2020

We woke one day to discover that our mailbox and the culvert for our driveway had been completely demolished. Car parts were everywhere.

The state trooper told my husband the driver had swerved to miss a deer. He also seemed to believe she was the only one in the car.

We spent hours cleaning the site, temporarily stopping our mail, and contacting the county to fix the culvert. 

Not-so-fun fact: the county will do the work, but the homeowner must purchase the culvert elsewhere. So another hour is spent finding a replacement. The cost is over seven hundred and fifty dollars.

An hour and eighty-five dollars were spent shopping for a new mailbox and post.

In the course of one week, the driver’s accident cost us over eight hundred dollars and ten hours.

The day after the accident, her parents stopped by with a promise to pay as she has no insurance.

At one point, I said, “The trooper said she was avoiding a deer “

The dad snorted and said, “And you believe that?!”

The mother winced and explained, “I was in the car with my granddaughter. There was no deer. This is the fourth car she’s wrecked this year. We told her we’re not buying her another one.”

You can probably guess that not only did they not pay us anything, but they bought her another vehicle.

How do I know? Because later, she almost hit me head-on as I was nearing the end of our road and she was entering it. I slammed on the brakes. She hid her face.

Just last week, she drove past my house and flipped me off.

Being forgiving and generous to other people does not always end well.

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It’s Best Not To Irritate The Demons

, , , , , , | Friendly | September 11, 2020

I’m a former professional costumer and I still love sewing and building props. My boyfriend and I met at a convention, and as you might imagine, we cosplay together at every opportunity. While I love making costumes, I don’t like wearing anything too complicated or heavy; I prefer lightweight and flattering. My boyfriend, on the other hand, loves elaborate costumes; the bigger and more impressive, the better. This suits us both beautifully; he buys the materials, I make both costumes, he’s my model, and I’m his handler since most of the masks tend to limit visibility.

At a recent convention, he is dressed as a many-eyed demon — a costume I am particularly proud of — and I am in a fairly simple kimono as a character from the same series. We’ve been getting compliments all day. Then, a guy stops us to get a better look.

Guy: “Dude, great costume!”

Boyfriend & Me: “Thanks!”

At this, the guy turns nasty and wheels around to glare at me.

Guy: “I wasn’t talking to you! What, did you thrift that outfit yourself?”

Boyfriend: “Dude… she’s the one who made this.”

Guy: “Big deal. You’re the one wearing it! Chicks are supposed to do s*** for their men, anyway.”

My boyfriend is a fairly big guy to begin with; with the costume’s mask and horns, he comes in at just about nine feet tall, and upon hearing this, he uses that to his advantage and LOOMS.

Boyfriend: “You need to leave, or I just might decide to harvest a few more human parts.”

The guy splutters and stomps off. A nearby demon slayer from a different series, who’s been watching the whole thing, grinned.

Slayer: “You both look great. Usually, I slay monsters, but in this case, I think the demon gets a pass. You want to hunt that guy, I won’t tell.”

Me: “Yep! He’s my favorite demon. He protects me from all the dangerous humans.”

Both of them had a good laugh at that, and when a few other people wandered over, the slayer wound up joining us in an ad hoc photoshoot.

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That’s Awkward, No (Dog) Bones About It

, , , , , , , | Friendly | September 9, 2020

This happens about a week or so after the infamous Central Park Video. For future generations: an entitled white woman let her dog loose at Central Park, and a bird-watching black man asked her to leash up her dog. The woman threatened him by calling the police and saying he was assaulting her, which he wasn’t. This is relevant information, as I am white and Asian, but I mostly look white.

I am walking my dog and eighteen-month-old daughter to our neighborhood park one early morning, and because of the global health crisis, the dog parks, and tennis courts are closed for our dog to play fetch. Luckily, our neighborhood park has two fields, one small and one large. It has become an unwritten rule during the crisis that the smaller field will have the dogs run around in it and the larger one will be for kids and other social distance activities.

When I arrive at the park, the large field is empty, and temptation takes over me. I start to play fetch with our dog in the large field while my child runs around “chasing” our dog. Soon, my child wants a snack, so I put her in the stroller and take out string cheese.

My dog smells the string cheese and wants it. She starts to hover around my child. I distract my dog by throwing the ball, but said dog won’t listen. She wants that cheese. I give up and leash her up, hold the leash tight, and walk toward our ball. My dog tries to steal the cheese from my child’s hand. I don’t pay attention to anything else around me and utter this: 

Me: “You! I’m looking at you! Don’t you think about stealing!”

Then, I see movement, so I look up. Before my eyes is a black gentleman setting up to play soccer with his kids. The color drains from my face. I sputter, embarrassed and meek. 

Me: “I— I was talking to my dog. You guys go ahead and play. I’m sorry.”

The gentleman, luckily, laughs.

Gentleman: “I know you were talking to your dog. Don’t worry.”

I sighed in relief. Then, he asked about my child and dog, and I asked about his. We chatted for a few minutes. Then, I continued on our walk. When we see each other at the park, we wave, and he jokes, asking if my dog is causing any more troubles.

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