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We’re Just Mad We Didn’t Think Of This First

, , , , , , | Friendly | October 31, 2022

It’s Halloween, and of course, there are many kids walking around in various costumes, some fairly creative, some store-bought, but this one costume really stands out among the rest to me.

I see a kid, about middle-school age, and her younger sister walking down my driveway toward my house, nothing special. The younger sister is dressed as a princess. How cute!

However, the older sister is dressed up far differently. She is dressed in a full business suit, a tie, slacks, even a big pair of square frame glasses, but two things are off about the costume. The first is the addition of a pair of headphones with a mic on them, which I think nothing of until I see the second unusual part of the costume, which is a sign hung around her neck with something written on it, though I can’t make out what it says at first. 

As the two approach closer, though, I am finally able to see what the sign says, and they come up to me on my patio. The older sister speaks first, saying exactly what is on the sign around her neck.

Older Sister: “Hi. We’ve been trying to reach you about your car’s extended warranty.”

I burst out laughing, not only because the costume itself was great, but also because I hadn’t received any calls from the extended warranty people for a couple of weeks by this point, so that made this costume even funnier to me. After calming myself down, I expressed my amazement at the costume and then made sure to give the older call center sister and her young princess sister extra candy for making my Halloween.

Some Say They’re Still Out There, Lost In A Sea Of Geekdom

, , , , , , , | Friendly | October 27, 2022

I am currently at a huge science fiction convention that draws around 80,000 attendees annually. It covers five hotels and a conference center with another dozen satellite hotels to house all the people who come to town. A large part of the draw is the costumes; there are lots of people in every geeky costume imaginable, ranging from cheap cardboard to movie-grade costing hundreds or thousands of dollars.

In the middle of all this, I happen to be near a businessman in a nice suit in one of the hotel lobbies. He is on his phone, apparently giving directions to someone.

Businessman: “You’ll see a bunch of those [Convention] people in weird costumes. Keep going, and I’m just past them.”

Sir, “people in weird costumes” covers a solid five blocks in every direction. Your colleague is going to be SO LOST!

I didn’t tell him.

And Take Your Audacity With You!

, , , , | Friendly | October 25, 2022

My wife and I went to a chain bar and grill to eat one Saturday at about 6:30. When our name was called, the only table available was a hightop right next to the hostess stand.

The place started getting packed, and soon, the small vestibule was beyond standing-room-only. We’re talking sardines.

We were sitting side by side on the back side of the hightop, facing the restaurant. Out of the blue, this guy pulled one of the stools at our table around to face the restaurant and took a seat. At our table!

Me: “Do you mind getting away from our table?”

Guy: “There’s hardly room to stand over there, and I want to sit down.”

Me: “That’s not my problem. This is our table, and you are not invited to sit with us. Now, please get up!”

Guy: “I’m not bothering you.”

Me: “Well, I tell you what. I’ll watch where you get seated, and then I will come to join you. How’s that?”

He finally got up and walked over to the waiting area, glaring at me for a while.

Can’t Get N-E Rest With These Mixups

, , , , , , , , , | Working | October 21, 2022

Many years ago, when I first got Internet service, I suddenly stopped getting emails. I called the ISP (a local outfit), and after some digging around, they found that someone with a first name similar to mine (e.g., Joan versus Joanne) and the same last name had called them. She thought her customers were using the wrong email and asked that all emails going to jmurphy@(ISP) be redirected to her. That, of course, was my email. I had not gotten anything that should have gone to her, so I don’t know why she decided she needed to redirect my email, but it was all sorted out, and I hope the person who mindlessly went along with her request got educated on being a bit more careful.

Back then, Joanne lived in a town about thirty miles from me. Now, it seems she’s moved quite a bit closer. I got a message confirming an appointment with my dentist that I never made. The office finally realized that they had a Joan and Joanne with the same last name and said they were going to straighten it out, but I got a text asking me to update my information for her appointment a couple of days ago.

Yesterday, I got a phone call from my pharmacy saying my prescription was ready. I was not expecting any prescriptions. I know they never answer their phone, so I trekked down there first thing this morning to find out what was going on. The pharmacist told me which doctor had prescribed it as if that would jog my memory. I had never heard of that doctor. Several minutes at the computer later, she finally realized that the prescription for Joanne had been put in the system for Joan, complete with my phone number and date of birth.

I can’t wait to see what mess-up happens next.

Nerdy Wife, I Choose You!

, , , , , , , , , | Romantic | October 15, 2022

My husband works in a coffee shop. On the days he works, if I have nothing better to do, I usually come to sit in the cafe and keep myself busy on my laptop.

One time, a regular sees me playing Pokémon on my phone and strikes up a conversation with me about the game. Sometime later, the regular brings this up to my husband.

Regular #1: “You know that girl who always comes in when you’re working? She’s into Pokémon, too! She seems like your type. You should ask her out sometime. She might say yes!”

Husband: “The one who sits by the pastry case?”

Regular #1: “Yeah!”

Husband: “You’re a few years late; I married her already. That’s my wife.”

Regular #1: *Shocked Pikachu face*

Most recently, I accompany my husband again to the cafe and am browsing Not Always Right while he works. A couple of regular customers come in, and my husband informs them that he’s only going to be there for a few more days before he leaves the country permanently.

Regular #2: “No way! Where are you going?”

Husband: “Australia. My wife is from there.”

He points to me, sitting by the pastry case. The customers turn to look at me. I smile and wave.

Regular #2: “Oh, she’s your wife! I was wondering why she’s always here!”

Regular #3: “I was literally about to suggest to you one of these days that she seems like she has a crush on you and you should ask her out!”

Regular #2: “Yeah, I always thought you two would make a cute couple!”

My husband gestures toward his Pokémon hat and my equally nerdy sweater.

Husband: “Gee, I can’t imagine what could have given you that impression!”

Meanwhile, I was laughing hysterically.

I must admit, though I didn’t need the validation, the idea that random strangers repeatedly want to set me up with my husband is a great way to know I chose the right man!