(My boyfriend and I are having a ride on a steam train. There is a group of other passengers at the other end of the carriage, talking quite loudly so we can hear what they are saying, but otherwise not being disruptive. One young lady from the group, in her early twenties, goes to use the toilet and a few minutes later comes back to her seat.)

Young Lady: “Oh, my God. I, like, just realised something! I always thought ‘vacant’ meant ‘engaged,’ but when I went into the toilet, I noticed it said, ‘vacant,’ and I could, like, walk in!”

(My boyfriend and I just raised eyebrows at each other as we tried not to laugh!)

A few years ago, my brother went Christmas shopping with some high school classmates, buying toys for a charity organization. He picked up a Star Wars action figure from the shelf only to have an adult woman rip it out of his hands, screeching, “THAT’S THE ONE I NEED! IT’S MINE!” as she ran off.

My brother simply turned back to the shelf and picked up an identical action figure from the dozens still on the shelf. Why she couldn’t get one of those was beyond him.

(I’m sick of people cutting in line, and if someone tries to get ahead of me, I will say something to them. I’m standing in line at the airport to get through passport control. There’s only one flight at the time that has to go through here, so everyone is obviously getting on the same flight. There are two girls, about 20 to 25, who decide to try to cut in front of me, instead of getting in the back of the line. There are only about six people behind me. So, of course, I don’t let them cut in front of me, and I say something.)

Me: “You do know that there’s a line, right?”

(It doesn’t look like they counted on someone outing them, and they look taken aback. [Girl #1] also looks irritated.)

Girl #1: “What? Well, we’re all going the same place, so what does it matter?”

Me: “Well, as you said, since we’re all going the same place, what does it matter if you go to the back of the line?”

(I turn away from them.)

Girl #1: “Geez, fine. I’ll let you get ahead of me.”

(I look at them, as if they’re stupid.)

Me: “Yeah, of course. I was here before you and didn’t cut anyone off.”

(They just rolled their eyes, and tried to get behind me. No one would let them cut in front of them, and they ended up having to get in the back of the line. By now, ten more people had arrived to get through passport control, so if they had just gotten in line at once, they would’ve gotten through quicker. Moral of the story? Don’t cut the line.)

(My family and I are eating out for lunch. I excuse myself to the restroom, and have to wait for a stall. A young woman enters and stands quietly behind me. Then, another woman enters and gets in line, talking loudly on her phone.)

Woman On The Phone: “…and he said I couldn’t go to the party! Can you believe it?!”

(She’s not very far behind me and almost shouting, so I’m more than uncomfortable. The woman continues complaining to whomever is on the other end of the call, and I wait uneasily until a stall opens. Unfortunately, it’s after I latch the door and prepare to do my business that I realize there’s no toilet paper left. I put myself back together and leave the stall. The young woman who was waiting in line behind me starts to walk into the stall I just left.)

Me: “Excuse me, but there’s no toilet paper left in there.”

Young Woman: *steps back* “Oh, thank you! I—”

Woman On The Phone: “So I said…” *brushes past us into the stall, still chattering away*

Me: “Ma’am, wait! There’s—”

(The woman slammed the door. Cue the other young woman and me making eye contact, trying not to laugh. I guess karma exists after all!)

(I’m having lunch with my dad and my girlfriend.)

Dad: “So, how is the wedding planning going?”

Me: “Pretty well.”

Girlfriend: “We found two super cute dresses for a great price, and my uncle said his firm can supply the food.”

(A man in the booth next to us suddenly turns and glares at us.)

Man: “Would you two [slurs] shut up already? I’m trying to eat!”

Dad: “Mind your own d*** business, or you’ll have my footprint tattooed on your a**.”

Man: “Who do you think you are, old man? I’m going to break your [slur]-loving face.”

Dad: “I’m a father first and foremost, but I’m also a retired police officer.”

(This caused the man to go snow white. He sheepishly paid for his half-eaten meal and left. Dad acted like nothing happened for the rest of the day.)