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He Likes Them Green

, , , , | Romantic | August 29, 2017

(I am a high school sophomore who is required to log service hours, and I decide to log some at a community center’s fundraiser. I’m a biracial [black and white] female, and though I have hazel eyes that often look green, with my hair pulled up I appear decidedly African American. A middle-aged male customer walks up to my station with a few relatively inexpensive items and puts everything onto the table.)

Customer: “Hello.”

Me: *sits up straight* “Good evening, sir. Will this be all for you tonight?”

Customer: *nods* “You’re a pretty girl, honey.” *sounds somewhat creepy*

Me: *thinking that this is one of those polite compliments that adults give children* “Um, thank you.”

(I begin to enter the amounts of his items onto the iPad that is being used for transactions.)

Customer: *almost to himself* “I didn’t know they came with green eyes.”

Me: *thinking that he’s talking to himself* “Okay, sir, that comes to—”

Customer: *interrupts* “Are your eyes real, honey?”

Me: *confused* “Um, yeah, of course they are. Your total is twelve—”

Customer: *interrupts again, in a creepily soft tone* “Honey, I like green-eyed girls.”

Me: *beginning to be weirded out* “Uh, your total is twelve-fifty. Card, check, or cash?”

Customer: *suddenly gets uncomfortably close to me* “I have cash. Lots of cash. You like cash, honey? I can make you a lot of it.”

Me: *now incredibly paranoid* “Um, sir, I-I’m fifteen…”

Customer: *suddenly steps back, looks at me like I’m crazy, pulls a twenty out of his pocket, slams it onto the table, grabs his items, and hurries out*

(I was immediately switched to another position when I informed the volunteer leader. It turned out they were trying to get that guy the heck out of the fundraiser for creeping out other volunteers.)

That Transformed Into Something Wonderful

, , , , , | Friendly | August 29, 2017

(I’m walking my dogs past a little boy and his mother at the park. I notice the boy’s eyes light up when he sees me, and at first I think it’s because he wants to pet my dogs, but then I realize he has the same exact cartoon character on his shirt as I do.)

Boy: “Mommy, she likes Optimus Prime, too! Can I marry her?”

(His mother was mortified, but I thought it was both adorable and hilarious.)

An Odd Flow Of Conversation

, , , | Friendly | August 28, 2017

(I’m at the beach with my sister, when a random woman runs up to me, waving her hands frantically.)

Woman: *shouting* “Are you wearing red pants because you have your period?”

Me: “Uh, no?”

Woman: *calmer* “Crap. Any chance you have a tampon on you anyway?”

Me: “I do.”

(I hand her one and she quickly darts for the nearest bathroom. As she comes out, she shouts to me again from about 20 yards away.)

Woman: “Thank you, tampon lady!”

Raising Some Trouble

, , , | Friendly | August 28, 2017

(My grandparents are waiting to transition into long term care, so they move to an area that is closer to us in the meantime. My grandma is blind and is showing signs of dementia, while my grandfather can’t walk and has just beaten skin cancer. Due to this, they need help getting groceries, so my mom takes my grandma out. I accompany them on this trip, and we are waiting in line to buy our groceries when the following happens.)

Cashier: *in another lane* “I can take anyone on express now.”

(We don’t move, since we have a lot of groceries. I notice the lady behind us looking at our cart and then at the cashier who called out, but think nothing of it at first.)

Woman: *behind us* “Excuse me, she said she was opening up her lane for groceries.”

Mom: “Oh, that was only for express though.”

Woman: “Yeah, you don’t have that many groceries. She would probably take you.”

(My mom and I look at our overflowing cart, then back at the woman, wondering if she’s serious. My mom decides to go the nice way about this.)

Mom: “Thanks for pointing that out to us, but we’re here now, and it’ll be too much to walk my mom over there.”

Woman: “Well, she seems fine to me.”

Mom: *throwing kindness out the window, grabs my grandma’s walking cane* “See this? Do you know what it means?

Woman: “Yes, I certainly do. My grandmother was blind and she raised me by herself. She would also run and clean a full household. How dare you assume that your own mother can’t do anything? I was only trying to help!”

(The woman keeps on ranting on how my mom is rude and that we should move, etc. I try to get her to back off, but she won’t stop. Finally, my grandma steps in.)

Grandma: “I can’t hear like I used to; what’s this fuss?”

(Before my mom can answer, the woman steps in, trying to sweet-talk her.)

Woman: “Hi there, so sorry for this. I know what you’re going through. My grandmother was blind as well, and she raised me all by herself.”

(While my mom and I are rolling our eyes, my grandma looks at her the best she can.)

Grandma: “Well, she didn’t do a very good job.”

(As my mom and I laughed, the woman turned red. She kept on trying to rant, but we just bought our groceries and left. Kudos to my grandma, though; she’s approaching 80 and still hasn’t lost her sense of humour.)

I Don’t Hate Men, Just You

, , , , | Romantic | August 27, 2017

(I’m at the library, minding my own business, when a man old enough to be my father approaches me. He’s not a total stranger; we have seen each other at the library before. We’ve even had the basic, “Hi, how’s the weather?” conversation the previous week, but nothing beyond that. Note that we haven’t said a single word to each other this day.)

Man: “Hey, here’s my number, [phone number]. And don’t forget it.”

Me: “Um… okay.”

Man: “So, what about dinner at [Local Restaurant]?”

Me: “I don’t date.”

Man: “What? Hate men or something?”

Me: “No. I’m asexual. I’m not into dating anyone.”

Man: “Oh. Coffee, then?”

(This is far from the only conversation I’ve had with men old enough to be my father. Without fail, even after telling them I don’t date, they ask me out for coffee. They don’t even seem to care enough about me to know I don’t drink coffee [I’m a tea drinker]. And this has happened over a half a dozen times.)